as Page 2217 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Joe Borowski Fury Makes Its 2008 Debut
We thought it would happen during last year's playoffs, but in the wake of a high-profile loss to the Red Sox last night, Indians fans have finally had enough: They're ready to take Joe Borowski out to the woodshed and, you know, do whatever you do to people behind the woodshed....

The Glue-Handed Patroller Of The Middle Exterior
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Red Smiths, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's...

Surprisingly, Alcohol May Have Been Involved
If it wasn't for those screens in the outfield at Wrigley, fat drunken Cubs fans would be flopping onto the warning track like tuna on the deck of a Japanese fishing boat. "We caught another one, Lou!" I loved it when they used the gaffe hook to haul him back in....

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel, and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th ) awf...

The Pope Should Wipe His Feet Before Entering Yankee Stadium
The Pope turns 81 years old today — 10 years older than John McCain, and just three years older than Julio Franco — and he's celebrating it in Washington, D.C. with President Bush. (What better way?) He will be celebrating mass at the new Nationals Stadium, which means we're going to assume Elijah D...

Ortiz Slump Officially Over. Thanks, Yankees!
Here's the thing, Yankees fans. You may have thought that you were heading off some sort of curse by digging up that David Ortiz jersey that was buried beneath your new stadium. But consider this: While the jersey remained buried, it's owner was hitting .070; last in the majors. In his first game ba...

About Last Night
What you missed while trying to remember the combination to your pants ... • College basketball: Michael Beasley, whose Kansas State team lost six of its last nine games and failed to make it past the second round of the NCAA Tournament, says it's time to "take my game to the next level," enters NBA...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch with your new friend, Mr. Happy Toilet ... • Arena Football League: Chicago at Kansas City (8:30 p.m., ET). Here's hoping for plenty of air-time for the Brigade Girls. [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at Cleveland (7 p.m., ET). Hopefully it will be above 12 degrees. [ESPN] • NHL: Western Conferen...

The Cowboys Have A Preferred Long Distance Provider
They're still constructing the Dallas Cowboys' new stadium, and if you're one of those people who thought the Cowboys were too iconic a franchise to fall prey to stadium naming right, well, stop being so foolish....

Can You Outeat Journalism's Top Professionals?
We haven't been to McAfee Coliseum this year — and judging by the attendance figures, few of you have either — but much ado has been made about the upper deck's All You Can Eat package, which is $35, not counting medical bills. How much could you eat?...

Wade Boggs And His Mullet Appear On ESPN
For those of you who saw Wade Boggs on "Baseball Tonight" this weekend — the one ESPN show we never, ever miss — you are probably wondering the same thing The Sports Hernia was wondering: When's "Road House 3" coming out?...

Scott Spiezio Continues To Drown In Boozy River Of Sadness
Former major leaguer Scott Spiezio's tumultuous battle with alcoholism has been marred by some ugly incidents. But even though the 35-year-old Spiezio had some extremely heavy baggage, the Atlanta Braves took a flyer on the guy, hoping he could get his life together and earn a spot on the Braves ros...

Parsing Out The Tigers Meltdown
We don't have the heart, really, to check in with any of our Detroit Tigers friends, right now, from longtime Deadspin commenter fave Alex Balk to Ben Mathis Lilley to Defamer's Mark Graham. Not much is worse than expecting your team to dominate, and then watching as they start out two-and-freaking-...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest. most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

In Praise Of The Devil Rays
Some fun facts about your Tampa Bay Rays: Their Class AA affiliate is the Montgomery Biscuits ... Jeff Niemann, who won his major league debut on Sunday by throwing six innings of one-run ball, is already known by Rays fans as The Knight Who Says Ni ... with Niemann moving up to the bigs, the Rays ...

New York Now Free From The Menace Of Buried Cloth
There have been a little more than 9,000 unsolved murders in New York City since 1985; many of the victims buried in cement, do doubt. But thank God we've solved this case: The Yankees have dug up a Red Sox jersey on Sunday that had been planted beneath their new stadium by a construction worker. An...

Some Guy Other Than Tiger Wins Masters
There's something inherently charming about the ceremony that follows a Masters Championship. For winning the most prestigious golf tournament, you don't get a trophy, or a plaque, or an oversized check. You win a jacket. Here, friend, congratulations; have a jacket. Stay warm, friend....

About Last Night
What you missed while telling the Pope to stay off your lawn ... • NBA: Lakers cross the Rubicon, take control of Western Conference. • NHL: Taking a 3-0 lead and then giving up four unanswered, in the playoffs? That's gotta sting a little. Flames 4, Sharks 3. (Hmm, I think we may have identified th...

You're the Immelman
It wasn't the most thrilling of finishes, but Trevor Immelman is your 2008 Masters champion regardless. Immelman, the first South African to be jacketed champion at Augusta since Gary Player in 1978, was able to protect the lead he held from the tournament's first round. Immelman's 75 wasn't all th...

A Look at Last Night's Knockouts
I predicted that Gomez would quit on his stool after the sixth, but the doctor spared him the trouble a round earlier. Antonio Margarito paved the way for a huge July fight with Cotto in the stacked welterweight division by once again knocking out Kermit Cintron. Margarito overwhelmed the knockout m...