as Page 2316 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
What you missed while making your getaway in the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile ... • Soccer: Argentina beats U.S. 4-1, forces us to call cowboys "gauchos" from now on. • MLB: Mr. 3000, yep, that's Craig Biggio. But his BIG milestone is yet to come. • Golf: Park Place ... Wie, Webb flounder at U.S. Women'...
The Pirates Care Not For Your "Protest"
As anyone who has watched a Baltimore Orioles game in the last decade knows, fan protests never work. They're usually more of a boon for the radio station that sponsors them than anyone else. Not that it's a problem; they garner some publicity and allow a bunch more fans to leave a game early, all t...
"Hey, Guys! It's Oliver!"
Maybe we just couldn't muster up the incredible enthusiasm of these "baseball" "players."...
Chip And Dale Don't Like Your Looks And Would Prefer That You Leave
Once the vibrant and thriving center of the city, Downtown Disney has fallen on hard times. Crime is rampant, property values have plummeted and the area is ripe with decay. Witness Minnie Mouse, turning tricks at the seedy Disney Inn. Goofy has been arrested 17 times for aggressive panhandling. And...
How The "Mighty" Have Fallen
You might remember, almost three years ago, when the Arizona Diamondbacks hired former Met Wally Backman to be their manager before firing him when they discovered an old DUI arrest and his impending bankruptcy. It was a tough break, particularly when he had to take a job managing the South Georgia ...
Rainy And Dumb At Shea
Think about how, on a daily basis, the weather affects your life. Sure, it can be a pain to carry an umbrella on the way to the car, and maybe your mood as you glance out the window from your anonymous, soulless cubicle on the fourth floor. But you can deal with it; it's mostly just something to tal...
Water Covers 70 Percent Of The Earth's Surface; Manny Covers The Rest
Using his uncanny speed and catlike reflexes, Manny Ramirez could probably patrol the entire outfield by himself if he wanted to. But that would probably just dishearten the other two guys and cause team dissension, so he restricts himself to left. In fact, like Clark Kent, Manny has to tone it down...
About Last Night ...
What you missed after finally getting permission to skate the half pipe ... • MLB: Is this the beginning of the end for Roger Clemens? Orioles 4, Yankees 0. • Tennis: Roddick beats the unprounceable Danai Udomchoke to advance at Wimbledon. • Soccer: Mexico snaps back with full and luxurious 2-0 win ...
Old Men, Slingin' Hash
A fun night in the world of baseball this evening: There are a whopping seven pitchers starting tonight who are older than 40 years old....
East Side Little League Will Cap Your Ass
First of all, this is not a hockey post. This Wade Campbell is a Little League dad, who, concerned that his son wasn't getting enough playing time, had a cheerful discussion with his coach. Yes, the term "shot down like a dog" was used, but only in the most constructive of ways....
Dock Ellis Understands Why He Is Famous
You thought it was funny — or perhaps just disgraceful — when Pete Rose started signing baseballs with "I'M SORRY I BET ON BASEBALL: PETE ROSE." But Dock Ellis (as Dock Ellis tends to do) one-ups Pete with his own unique way of branding memorabilia....
Arenas And Durant, Like Burns And Allen
You just know he insisted on that, and that he practiced in a mirror for months to get it exactly right....
Yes, EIU Wrestlers, We Understand Your Point
Last month, the Eastern Illinois University wrestling program was discontinued by the school, which cited low academic marks from the team. The grapplers immediately protested in the only way they know how....
Just Another Anonymous Night At The Ballpark
In the last eight years, we've seen way too many baseball games. We've seen a World Series winner (woo!), we've seen a freaking typhoon and we've seen Joe McEwing hit home runs for two different teams. (He's still in the Red Sox minor league system, by the way.)...
Boog Powell Would Never Had Stood For This
We just thank God that Roger Clemens wasn't around to see this. Clemens, exercising the Unlimited Vacation clause in his contract, was in Connecticut when Scott Proctor walked in the winning run in the Orioles' 3-2 victory over the Yankees on Tuesday. Evidently mindful that it was Serious Heart Cond...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while waiting in line to buy a phone ... • MLB: Walk this way ... Orioles beat Yankees in the least exciting way possible. • Tennis: Venus Williams upset in first round of ... no wait, she won. That was close. • Soccer: We warned you ... you underestimate Peru at your own peril....