as Page 2316 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

About Last Night ...
What you missed while in custody for attacking people with fresh fruit ... • MLB: No soup for you! Daisuke Matsuzaka fans 10 in seven innings in Yankees Red Sox debut. • NHL: Brodeur, Devils are Kings of the Atlantic. • NBA: Heat are in the playoffs, and those Cavs jerseys are making us thisty for o...

That's Right! TBS Is Doing Non-Braves Games This Year! We Forgot!
These two handsome gentleman were once called "athletes," fairly recently, which is kind of funny, when you look at them....

Some Lucky Prison Will Soon Have A Wacky Costumed Mascot
We're a bit late on this, but no matter: When the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, Pa., Triple-A baseball team changed its affiliation from the Phillies to the Yankees this year, their mascot, The Grump, decided to celebrate in his own special way. Jay S. Hastings, who wears the mascot costume for the Yankees...

Somewhere, There's A Little Dot That Looks Like Bob Huggins
One of our favorite innovations on this here Internets is the ability to track flights online using their flight or tail number. We've never been on a flight that has Web access, but if we ever do, we're gonna track ourselves, because if the flight crashes, we'll want to be the first ones on the pla...

Hey, Maybe Kentucky Should Try To Rehire Tubby Again
Continuing with our afternoon pro-Florida theme ......

They're The One That You Want
We got the impression from some Florida fans that we were not giving the two-time champions the proper reverence in the wake of their victories, and if that's true, we apologize. We meant no harm. It is an outstanding achievement, whether or not Joakim Noah has unnatural feelings toward his mother. ...

Oh, Gilbert ... No ... No ...
Like pretty much anyone who loves the game of basketball, we are distressed to hear that Gilbert Arenas is going to be out two months and miss the playoffs. There was no player we were looking forward to watching more; it has been a blissful, breakthrough season for Agent Zero, and it really shouldn...

Ever Wonder Who Houston Nutt Talks To? Today's Your Lucky Day!
It hasn't been the best 24-hour stretch for Arkansas football coach Houston Nutt. Turns out, an awfully eager Razorbacks fan sent a request for Nutt's cell phone records through the Freedom Of Information Act and, amazingly, he/she was sent back a full report....

Tiger Will Even Beat You At Passing Gas
As Tiger Woods begins his march for yet another Masters victory, we look deep into the soul of a champion, try to figure out what makes him who he is, why he is dominant, who he is inside. For some insight, we check out this quote from golf announcer David Feherty, who describes an ongoing contest h...

The Daily Closer: Big Fun At Needle Park
Notes on the day in baseball:...

Finally, MLB Will Allow You To Pay Them
We've been burned a couple of times on this, so we're still in cautious, believe-it-when-we-see-it mode (it's still not up on our Time Warner system, for example), but it appears Major League Baseball finally came to its senses extorted itself the best possible deal: Extra Innings will be available ...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while playing ping pong with Hurley ... • MLB: Cubs ... win? Lilly administers 4-1 beatdown of Reds. • NBA: Zero goes down, as do Wizards' playoff hopes, most likely. • NHL: We spit on your 6-on-3 advantage! Caps 3, Thrashers 2....

Your End-Of-Day Trivia Fun
Because it's kind of slow, rainy sports day today, we thought we'd goof off a little bit at the end of the day....

F-Rod Is A Big Fan Of The Bottom Of His Cap
In his new book The Cheater's Guide To Baseball, Derek Zumsteg looks at all the different ways baseball players and managers have cheated (or tried to cheat) throughout the years. It's a highly entertaining book; our favorite part is "Tips For Doctoring Bats For Amateur Players."...

Hey, The Masters Start Tomorrow
Even though it's dreary outside and we're kind of ill from it — we don't ask much from weather except for it to make up its mind — it is obviously springtime, because The Masters start tomorrow....

If Frank Thomas Can't Hit A Child, What Good Is He?
As anyone who understands comedy can tell you, the sight of a small child in pain is the zenith of modern mirth. Which is why it's such a shame that this Blue Jays commercial with Frank Thomas has been banned by Canadian television....

If Only This Policy Applied To Julian Tavarez
Note to Cincinnati Little Leaguers: You're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it, people like you. As we mentioned briefly last week, a new rule there for the upcoming season forbids any type of "negative chatter" during youth baseball games. To illustrate, we've made this chart....

Meet Your D—-spin Pants Party Winner (Kind Of)
Well, the final standings are in from the D—-spin Pants Party Pool, and we have a mostly anonymous winner we suspect we'll be hearing from today....

Billy Packer's Curious Choice Of Words
By now, many of you have heard about the Billy Packer "fag out" comment — to Charlie Rose, of all people — but if you haven't seen the video, here it is, at the 35:34 mark....
