as Page 2318 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night...
• Arena Football. Columbus Destroyers 74, NY Dragons 43. And the 7-9 Destroyers clinch a playoff spot. Parity reigns in the Arena League. • MLB. Seattle 9, Cincinnati 1. Never a good sign when you give up a grand slam in the first inning, is it, Kyle Lohse... • WNBA. San Antonio Silver Stars 71, Con...
Maybe There's A Reason Laurence Maroney Wants You To Wash U Ass
MediaTakeOut.com, the website everyone turns to when they want the hard-hitting truth, picked up on the Laurence Maroney items from yesterday at KSK and here, and are now, based on the below picture, insinuating that Maroney is gay....
When Funerals And Minor League Baseball Collide
This is the kind of story that only seems possible revolving around a minor league baseball team in Tennessee. Observe the lede from this story in the Elizabethton Star:...
About Last Night...
• MLB. Yankees 7, Giants 3. Barry Bonds' homerun chase continues to distract people from the fact that the Giants suck. • WNBA: San Antonio Stars 70, New York Liberty 63. That'll teach you to trade Becky Hammon, New York Liberty. • MLB. Red Sox 2, Padres 1. Matsuzaka out ueled Greg Maddux, but the b...
Enjoy The Comedic Stylings Of Lenny DiNardo
Tonight, the summer of Pants Parties continues: We'll be hitting ole Shea Stadium for the A's-Mets showdown. DiNardo! Glavine! Eight dollar beers! Welcome to New York....
Floating Through Space With Joe Morgan
We're not sure what the rights rules are for Major League Baseball audio and video broadcasts in outer space are, but if Bud Selig hasn't figured out a way to maximize revenue on the moon, he will. Even astronauts are listening to games now. Meet Michael Lopez-Alegria....
Which Athlete Will Be The Next Gay Blog Obsession?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Humanity Prepares For The Terrible Reign Of Mr. And Mrs. Bubbles
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly give you Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...
Cow Tipping In Madison Is Absolutely Unacceptable
Sometimes, considering our own background, we have a hard time understanding some of these newfangled athlete malfeasances. This "Making It Rain" ... that didn't come up much in Mattoon (though the crops sure could have used it!)...
Dave Trembley Already Making Friends
We don't want to say that Baltimore interim manager Dave Trembley should perhaps rent, not buy, but ... well, it's probably a bad sign when you've had to make one real decision as manager, and your decision already has everyone wanting to fire you....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while you were up to your ass in geese ... • College baseball: Rematch in the finals ... it'll be Heels vs. Beavers. Get it on! • Soccer: U.S. one win away from that sweet, sweet Gold Cup. • MLB: Cleanup on aisle one! ... Rockies rock Rocket, Yankees swept at Coors....
Your Importance Is Minimal, Child
We don't mean to imply that Jeff Gordon's newborn child — Ella Sofia Gordon, born yesterday at 9:09 — isn't going to be the most important person in her own family, but the following paragraph appeared on his official site today. (Via the Celebrity Baby Names Blog ... now there's a blog! It's almost...
This Is Why That Child Was Beating Your Ass
As anyone who watches "The Colbert Report" knows, children are a national menace that plan on taking the planet from us. And, to expedite the process, they're all now taking steroids....
Tony LaRussa Is Sexier Than You Think
We don't mean to imply that vegetarians are inherently unsexy people, but we think that maybe they need to upgrade the attractiveness level of their celebrities. One of the nominees for PETA's sexiest vegetarian is ... Tony LaRussa....
And Suddenly That Giant Hog Story Looks So Unimpressive
We like bears. As Robert Klein once said, they are the most helpful of all the animals. "If you have to be stuck in an elevator, it might as well be with a bear. 'Can you reach up there, bear?' 'Well, I think I can try ...' " But when a bear is attacking your six-year-old son, there's only one thing...
All The Big Stars Come Out To St. Louis
Texas Tech coach Bob Knight and "Arliss" — sorry: "Arli$$" — star Robert Wuhl were guests of Cards manager Tony La Russa during last night's brutal, nasty, hideously played 14-inning Cardinals-Royals game. (The Cardinals won, but it was not something they should be proud of.)...
Come Celebrate An Old Man's Victory Lap
Not that any of you were wondering, but this is clearly why Sammy Sosa came back after "retiring:" He gets to make this ridiculous face in front of a stadium full of fans who still aren't quite sure what to think of him....
About Last Night
What you missed while mowing the front lawn with scissors ... • College baseball: No ants for you! Oregon State 7, UC Irvine 1. • MLB: Sammy Sosa hits No. 600, pending results of your analysis. • MLS: Just a glorified Crew ... Columbus over Kansas City 2-1, like we had to tell you....