as Page 2397 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Roy Oswalt, Ditch Digger
The night Roy Oswalt dominated the Cardinals and took a metaphorical bulldozer to Busch Stadium. Apparently, that night, Astros owner Drayton McLane promised he would, if he beat the Cardinals, buy Oswalt a Caterpillar D6N XL bulldozer. Well, Oswalt, as you might remember, kicked ass that night....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while getting in some last-minute spying before the Patriot Act expires ... • Monday Night Football: Ravens rout Packers in Favre farewell tour. • NBA: Billups (pardon us) scores game winner as Pistons drop Grizzlies in double OT. • NHL: Oooh, a shootout! Maxim Afinogenov (say it wit...
How 'Bout That Darrell Armstrong?!
We've always wondered what would happen if we ended up a semi-prominent public figure in, say, Chicago, or Iowa City, Iowa. As lifelong Cardinals and Illini boosters, it would be impossible for us to hide our loyalties; we couldn't pretend to root for the Cubs or the Hawkeyes even if our livelihoo...
Chris Kaman: Even Weirder Than You Think
We've given the Los Angeles Times' Bill Plaschke his fair share of grief, but we must give credit where it is due: His column yesterday on bizarro Clippers center Chris Kaman is pretty outstanding stuff. We might even go so far as to call ourselves tickled....
Professor Irvin's Class Is In Session
The Miami Herald points us in the direction of something that was new to us: The Michael Irvin Academic Resource Academy. Irvin recently dedicated the "learning center" in Ft. Lauderdale, and whatever our thoughts about Irvin, it's difficult to find much fault in the gesture. Its goal is to help "...
The Mind Of The Kentucky Fan
It's noon on a Saturday, you're a junior at the University of Kentucky and the game starts in two hours. You'll be close enough to the court that, if you hit just the right point, you could be on the TV. It's time to make your voice heard by the masses. But what to say? What to say?...
NFL Roundup: Sad Colts, Happy Bolts
• We'll confess, we were actually kind of rooting for the Colts not to finish 16-0. Not because we have anything against them — we don't, save for maybe a suspicion that Edgerrin James did a guest spot on the seventh floor crew — but because we will never have faith in Tony Dungy and Peyton Chessn...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while building a snowman army and declaring yourself King of Winter ... • We Blame It All On Lil' Ronnie: Chargers end Colts' perfect season, '72 Dolphins get on their Rascal Scooters to meet up and celebrate once again. • College Basketball: Top-ranked Duke clobbers Valparaiso, goes...
To Watch Tonight...
• NFL. Atlanta @ Chicago. If you'd like to watch a quality football game sometime over the next 36 hours, I suggest you enjoy this one. The Monday Night game is Baltimore vs. Green Bay. • NHL. San Jose @ Anaheim. It's always fun when Original Six teams go at it. Wait, San Jose and Anaheim weren't Or...
Clearing The 4 o'clock Table...
• Cleveland 9, Oakland 7. If you watched this one, you're a diehard Browns fan, a diehard Raiders fan, or a person with severe emotional problems, and I'm worried about you. Let's get you some help. • Bengals 41, Detroit 17. Even Chad Johnson knows that it's bad form to celebrate the mundane accom...
The Severe Beating of the Dallas Cowboys
The Redskins are beating the Cowboys in just about every possible way that a team can be beaten. You have to wonder how all of our lives would be different if more of the original cowboy vs. Native American matchups had gone this way in the early history of our nation....
Setting the 4 o'clock Table...
• Dallas @ Washington. I think you'll want to watch this one when you see your other two options below... • Cincinnati @ Detroit. Because someone needs to prove to Matt Millen that is is possible to resurrect a moribund franchise. • Cleveland @ Oakland. There are only 3 games at 4 o'clock today, whi...
About Last Night...
• NFL. Broncos 28, Bills 17. Rod Smith catches an impressive 11 balls for 137 yards. Buffalo counters with an impressive 12 penalties for 82 yards. Advantage, Denver. • NBA. Suns 87, Grizzlies 91. Memphis has six scorers in double figures, handing Phoenix their fourth loss in five games. • Boxing. 7...
Giants Lead Chiefs At The Half
Thanks mainly to a goal-line stop of Larry Johnson, one of the worst defensive efforts you'll ever see by the Chiefs, a turnover late in the half, and a Jay Feely field goal attempt that was evidently influenced by divine intervention, the Giants lead the Chiefs 10-3 at halftime....
The Afternoon In College Hoops...
• #14 UCLA 68, Michigan 61. Jordan Farmar and Arron Afflalo both went over 20 for the Bruins, and Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, enemy of people who sew last names onto uniforms everywhere, had 9 rebounds off the bench. • Tennessee is currently throttling #7 Texas. I know it's only my second week doing...
A Couple Of Naughty Longhorns
Two Texas Longhorns are in trouble, and their timing could be considered poor. The Austin Police Department released a statement last night saying that they were investigating two different criminal incidents involving individuals "involved in the UT athletics program," which sounds like a nice wa...
About Last Night...
While you were hoping that Santa Claus chose to ignore your behavior last night......
The Royals' Alphabet Madness
As one of the few people left on the planet who actually brings a scorebook to baseball games — it's actually leather-bound; it is, without a doubt, our most prized possession — we sympathize greatly with the citizens of Kansas City today....
Athlete Run-In: El-Amin And His Sandwich
We always loved former Connecticut point guard Khalid El-Amin, because we always like point guards who are shorter than us yet still weigh more. Today's first athlete run-in story is about our man Khalid. It comes from Eric in New Hampshire....
A-Rod Loves His Countries Just Too Damn Much
Well, after much careful deliberation — that is to say:...