as Page 2442 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Shuffling Off At Rest, Satiated, With Ray King Finally Gone
Former Cardinals relief pitcher Ray King was traded to the Colorado Rockies last Thursday, for equally useless spare parts Aaron Miles and Larry Bigbie. King had once been a popular Cardinal — his rotund nature is a sure-fire crowd pleaser; after the Cardinals clinched the World Series trip in 200...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while FINALLY finishing Thanksgiving leftovers ... • Monday Night Football: Falcons 36, Saints 17, and America yawns, because, you know, that whole hurricane empathy thing is so not in style anymore. • NBA: Kobe's 43 lead Lakers over Mavericks, forcing Mark Cuban to return to his bur...

That's A Quarter Per Sweat Dollop
Far be it from us to tell collectors what is valuable and what isn't — we wouldn't trade our Willie McGee 1987 Topps card for the Shroud of Turin — but we have to say, we're pretty surprised by one of the top items on MLB.com right now....

NFL Roundup: "I Disagree With Your Decision And Shall Protest Thusly"
• It's funny, because if you remember when Guenther Cunningham actually coached the Chiefs, you'd understand that here, he's just giving his unique signal to go for two. • It's like the Chargers suddenly remembered that Marty Schottenheimer's their coach. • Anybody see the new ESPN magazine? (Anyb...

About Last Night ...
Your pants are on the roof and for some reason the cat is wearing lipstick. Good morning. We'll bring you up to speed ... • NFL: Colts beat Jaguars to go 13-0 and grab home field advantage. Word. • NHL: Sabres beat Wild as Martin Biron becomes first goalie to win 10 straight starts since 2002. Didn'...

About Last Night...
• Film: Codebreakers. You know, I think Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Taran Noah Smith might've been carrying Zachery Ty Bryan all those years on Home Improvement. My favorite part was when he called someone an "a-hole." • College basketball: Nevada 56, UCLA 67. UCLA gets the W, despite Nick Fazekas go...

Adam Morrison is a hero
"Major onions" was how Bill Raftery described it. The play-by-play guy ended the telecast by calling Morrison "the best college basketball player in the country." He may be that, I don't know, but I think JJ Redick's 41 points against the #2 team in the nation at least leaves the issue open for deba...

Birds get their claws back
CAW. CAW. Or, you know, whatever kind of a frightening noise a cardinal might make......

Mizzou escapes the mighty Islanders
Despite leading for most of the second half, the Texas A&M Corpus Christi Islanders weren't able to pull off the upset against Missouri. Jimmy McKinney hit a jumper with 10 seconds left to put Missouri ahead, but the Islanders couldn't capitalize and missed the potential game-winner at the buzzer....

An all-around ugly day for Texas
The black jerseys, the blowout against Duke... and it's probably not going to get better when Vince Young comes up short this evening. Sorry fellas. More poetry......

#1 vs #2
As a salute to J.J. Redick, all of today's posts about the Duke/Texas game will be in poetry form. You may not know this about me, but I consider myself a master of the limerick....

About Last Night...
While I was trying to figure out a way to not feel like Carson Daly to Will's Conan O'Brien......

Athlete Run-In: Blocking Derek Lowe
Today's final athlete run-in story is about one of our favorite people around here: Famed party guy Derek Lowe, who never met a lady (or ladies) he couldn't slur over. This story almost makes you feel a little bad for Lowe, until you visit On The DL and check out some of the great tales over there...

Hey, Mark? Fat Ankles Will Be The Least Of Her Problems
From the newest edition of Playboy magazine, via the New York Post:...

Athlete Run-In: Julian Tavarez's Rocket Arm
Today's first athlete run-in story is about one of our favorite insane athletes, (former) Cardinals reliever Julian Tavarez, a guy just crazy enough not only to break his hand punching a phone in a playoff game, but then come out the next night and try to catch a comebacker with that very same han...

The Real Story Behind Stephen A.'s Piss Break
Earlier this week, we directed you to the BenMaller.com report that Stephen A. Smith brought two bodyguards with him into the press box (and the press box bathroom) at the UCLA-USC game last Saturday. At the time, we gave Stephen A. the benefit of the doubt; celebrity is a funny thing, and you jus...

You Learn Something New Every Day
So here's something fantastic. A kindly reader informs us that the throwaway joke we tossed in our last post about ESPN's Times Square New Years Eve celebration about 3rd Bass playing at the show was funnier than we realized. You see, Peter Nash, known as "Pete Nice" in the triumvirate responsible f...

Bro Sweets Will Juice You Up
Clinton Portis was back yesterday with yet another fractured segment of his personality, this one somewhat sweeter than the past ones, literally even. We proudly introduce "Bro Sweets," Clinton's most recent tortured mental sliver....

About Last Night ...
What you missed when raccoons locked you in the cellar ... • College Basketball: UConn avoids repeat of last season's embarrassing upset (and by the way, you still owe us $20 on that one) by beating UMass 78-60. • NHL: Dissension reigns as Flightless Sea Fowl lose sixth straight, 5-0 to Minnesota. •...

Athlete Run-In: John Kruk, Hero Of The People
Today's final athlete run-in story, to be honest with you, might be our very favorite so far. We might hate the guy on "Baseball Tonight," but there was a reason he was beloved (before his job was to talk for a living) not only in Philadelphia, but around the baseball world....