as Page 2498 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jose Canseco, Professional Wrestler (Of Course)
We're not even going to pretend to be surprised here: Jose Canseco is rumored to making an appearance at Wrestlemania this spring. Perhaps it is telling that the people who are most concerned about this development are not baseball fans, but wrestling fans. Seems like the WWE — remember, that's wh...
The Amazing, Vanishing Barry Bonds
You have to love Barry Bonds. How can you not? Barry is now officially the only athlete (or, for that matter, President) we believe when he says he "doesn't read the paper."...
NFL Roundup: Daunte's Blues
• If you somehow were able to make an emotionless, painless robot clone of Bea Arthur, and you pounded that clone in the face with a polo mallet for 25 minutes, then slammed that head in a car door 15 times, then severed the head with an exceptionally long and sharp toenail, then put the head in a...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while in the tub reenacting the battle of the Monitor and the Merrimack ... • MLB: Bonds hits 705th homer, is ordered to stitch actual asterisk to his uniform. • NFL: Brady's late-night carousing catches up to him in Patriots' loss to Panthers. • PGA: Some guy named Jason Gore wins s...
On The DL: Athletes Unmasked!
So we've been talking for the last couple of days to the people at On The DL, the blind item sports gossip site that claims to have inside info on the cheating ways of countless Major League Baseball players. We initially had some doubts about their verisimilitude, and even though we still advise ...
Blogdome: The Freefalling White Sox
• If the White Sox actually blow this lead, will manager Ozzie Guillen just starting killing people, randomly? It seems somewhat likely. [Baseball Musings] • Contrary to lazy popular opinion, not all members of the Portland Trail Blazers are on drugs, or even bad people. [TrueHoop] • Was last night'...
LaRussa: No Celebration For You!
Last night, the St. Louis Cardinals became the first team to win their division with a 6-1 victory over the rival Chicago Cubs. It is the Cardinals' second consecutive NL Central title, and their fifth in the last six years. After a long, grinding season, one would expect the Cardinals to break ou...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while prying Tom Brady's clammy mitts off of your girlfriend ... • Small Ball: Aaron Small goes to 8-0 as Yankees creep to with 1 1/2 of Red Sox. • Going Frog Wild: TCU snaps Utah's 18-game football win streak. • Cardinals clinch playoffs, prepare to sit at top of dugout railing and ...
Lenny Dykstra, Your Financial Consultant
OK, this was so ridiculous that we have spent the last hour checking it out, lest we be the target of some elaborate ruse. But it appears to be legit: Former human chaw Lenny Dykstra is writing a weekly investment column for TheStreet.com. No, really. Seriously. Lenny Dykstra — or, more likely, his ...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as, somewhere out there, Russell Crowe is beating up a guy ... • College FB: Utah at TCU. Yeah, we're wearing a Horned Frogs beer helmet. What of it? • WNBA Finals: Sacramento at Connecticut. Quick, what are the two team nicknames? Oh, time's up. • MLB: Marlins at Astros. Andy Pettitte...
Groupies Cause Battery Feud
Some great fun from the is-it-fictional-or-not-who-cares? groupie blind item On the DL this morning. Here's today's highlight:...
McGwire Returns To Site Of Much Needle Poking
Apparently, Mark McGwire is finally available to talk about the past. In one of his very few public appearances since his retirement — we count that testimony before Congress, Jack Buck's funeral and a bunch of golf tournaments — the once-beloved-now-embattled slugger will attend the final weekend...
Calling Mom For Domestic Backup
Some more updates on the domestic abuse allegations against notoriously angry Dodgers outfielder Milton Bradley. The Daily Breeze reviewed the 911 calls that started the whole allegations, and apparently, it was in fact Bradley who made the calls in order to calm down his "crazy" wife....
The 15-Minute Home Run Trot
Craziest play in the Red Sox-Blue Jays game last night. Red Sox outfielder Gabe Kapler — beloved by gays and Jews alike! — tore his Achilles rounding second base on Tony Graffanino's home run, and he couldn't move. Graffanino stopped behind Kapler and waited, and, surprisingly (to us), the umpires...
About Last Night ...
You awake in a large metal container, wearing a bear costume, with a tranquilizer dart stuck in your ass ... • MLB: Andruw Jones belts 50th homer, but you guessed it, Braves still lose. • WNBA Finals: Sacramento Monarchs win Game 1 of ... oh forget it, you're not even reading this. • MLB: That big f...
We Hope You Like Joe Morgan
Bad news for those who are driven to murderous rage by the voice of ESPN analyst Joe Morgan: ESPN and Major League Baseball have extended their broacast agreement through 2013. Sunday Night Baseball with Morgan and Jon "Hey, Don't Look At Me, I Don't Know What The Hell He's Talking About Either" M...
Blogdome: The NCAA Can Screw Up Anything
• If there's a way to rectify a wrong by screwing over a student-athlete, rest assured that the NCAA will find it. [The Sports Frog] • Some excuses Rafael Palmeiro didn't come up with. [Zulkey] • It's bad enough that the Mets have collapsed. But do fans have to watch Jose Offerman too? Come on, that...
When Baseball Is Like A Trip To The Dentist
From the fine folks who gave you the South Park version of every player on the Cincinnati Reds comes today's gem, motivational posters for every major league baseball team. Half the teams can be found on Joel Luckhaupt's Reds (And Blues) blog, with the other half on Red Hot Mama's site, including ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while waiting in line to watch a movie about penguins waiting in line ... • MLB: Bonds singles, walks twice as Giants come within five of Padres, so naturally he takes today off. • MLB: Yankees foolishly use up the rest of their September offense in 20-hit, 17-3 splurge. • Champions ...
Mark Cuban Would Rather You Not Count His Fans
Everybody's favorite punctuation-resistant NBA owner Mark Cuban has had a busy offseason, hollering at New York Times reporters, apologizing for cutting Michael Finley and remembering the exact moment he stopped being one of us and became dirty, grimy rich....