ass Page 238 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mateen Cleaves Is Being Investigated For Sexual Assault
Wayne County (Michigan) prosecutors are investigating former NBA player Mateen Cleaves for a possible sexual assault. The case was initially to be processed in Genesee County, but it was transferred due to a potential conflict of interest. Genesee County prosecutor David Leyton told MLive:...
Classic Man: "The Great Thing About VCRs"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Last week, we discussed STDs; today, we’re talking home entertainment....
Another Patriots Super Bowl Win Would Be The Worst Thing Ever
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Kevin Johnson Wants Certain People To Not Talk About Kevin Johnson
It’s no secret that Kevin Johnson wants certain girls and women to keep what they have to say about him to themselves. Some of what the former NBA superstar and current scandal-magnet mayor of Sacramento, Calif. is willing to do to convince them is well-known; some less so. The more that comes to li...
Greg Oden Put Up A Double-Double In His Chinese Basketball Debut
Hey, remember Greg Oden? The former Trail Blazer with two different sized legs? The former top pick is back playing basketball, this time in China with the Jiangsu Dragons and he looks pretty good, albeit it’s still preseason there too. He’ll share go-to duties with Arnett Moultrie, former Sixers wa...
Classic Man: Regarding Clap, Herpes, And Other Penalties
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Last week, we covered sweat lodges; today, we’re talking sexually transmitted diseases....
Matt Hasselbeck Went From Puking And Pooping To Beating The Texans
What Matt Hasselbeck did was undeniably impressive: overcoming oldness and a “bacterial infection” that hospitalized him earlier this week to lead the Colts to a 27-20 win over the Texans, Indy’s second straight win over a divisional opponent without the services of Andrew Luck. But the Colts appear...
The Colts Are An Absolute Mess At Quarterback
The Colts have got to be cursing the NFL schedule makers for sticking them with the Thursday night game this week, because if there was ever a team that needed a few more days to rest up, it’s this one....
<i>Steve Jobs</i> May Be About The Apple Guru, But Aaron Sorkin Is The Real Star
The trick to enjoying an Aaron Sorkin project is to never take it as seriously as he does. The creator of The West Wing and The Newsroom and the Oscar-winning screenwriter of The Social Network doesn’t write dialogue—he stages showy talk-fests that are meant to either show off how smart his characte...
Colts' Senior Citizens' Collective Beats Up On The Jaguars
The last time Matt Hasselbeck started an NFL game, he replaced a hurt Jake Locker in Tennessee in 2012. He wasn’t supposed to see time then, either, already in the “fossilized mentor” stage of his career, which he now occupies in Indianapolis with Andrew Luck. He’s well past his due date, I’m saying...
Classic Man: A Sweat Hut Can Kill You
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Last week, we talked about sharpening axes; today, we’ve moved on to sweat lodges....
Here Is Some Impossibly Stupid NBA Ass-Eating Gossip To Brighten Your Day
Sometimes, you just need to go to MediaTakeOut, a website that employs some of the finest prose stylists (seriously) of our time, and read an anonymous Instagram model’s account of how she ate NBA BALLER WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH A K’S butt, even though it was MUSTY....
Massachusetts Man Cannot Handle Seeing A Sunfish: "What The Fuck Is That, Kid?"
At first, it’s reasonable to think that this video’s protagonist, a man from Malden, is laying the Massachusetts accent on a little thick as he reacts to seeing a sunfish in the water. Oh man, Jay, it’s dead, bro, or somethin’! Michael Bergin’s interview with the Boston Globe basically confirms that...
Jose Bautista Has A Goddamn Cannon Attached To His Shoulder
Jose Bautista spent a month earlier this season playing DH because his shoulder hurt so badly that he couldn’t throw. After tonight, it’s safe to say Bautista is fully recovered....
Classic Man: "Keeping An Axe Blade Sharp Requires Careful Maintenance"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Last week, we discussed bear alarms; today, we’re talking about sharpening an axe....
The Texans Will Finally Ditch Their Death-Trap Grass
Houston’s NRG Stadium has turf unlike anywhere else in the NFL: it is natural grass, that, when not in use, is sliced up into 8’x 8’ trays and taken out of the dome to get some sunlight. It has been by all accounts the NFL’s worst playing surface, with the lawyer of one former players suing over a c...
Who's Funding Kevin Johnson's Secret Government?
It isn’t hard to see why nothing bad has ever quite touched Kevin Johnson, mayor of Sacramento, Calif., even as he’s authored a long series of lurid sex and corruption scandals, any one of which would have ended the career of a less fortunate man....
<i>Black Mass </i>Plays Like A Boston-Mob-Thriller Parody
1. Whatever your thoughts on The Departed or The Town—the modern Boston mob/crime thrillers that all modern Boston mob/crime thrillers are measured against—it is undeniable that everyone involved was deeply invested in both. Matt Damon had been waiting his whole life to play a character like his Dep...
Classic Man: "Don't Mess With A Bear"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. On Monday, we touched on how to deal with going bald; today, we’re talking bear alarms....
Jackass Fights With Adrian Gonzalez For Foul Ball
So here’s some dickhead wearing a Red Sox cap fighting with Dodgers first baseman Adrian Gonzalez for a foul ball. Gonzalez won, but he was obviously pretty pissed off. And why shouldn’t he be? The Dodgers aren’t even playing the Red Sox!...