ass Page 247 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Watch These Fools Try To Shove A Gigantic Sofa Into A Very Tiny Car
Seriously though, what the hell was ever the plan here?...
Glasshole Wants You To Wear A Computer On Your Face While You Cook
National Geographic magazine, a mail-order Caring About Things merit badge for baby boomers, has been running a "Future of Food" series on the Plate, its food blog, for the past few months. This month's entry was written by Mary Beth Albright, an attorney, food writer, and former contestant on Food...
These Lil-Ass Bears Are Cuter Than Hell
Damn, man, get a load of these tiny bears. Those are some tiny bears! ...
Whatever Happened To Sports On Earth?
Originally published at The Classical....
Ted Lasso Is Back, And He's Still Clueless About Soccer
Jason Sudeikis has reprised his role as Ted Lasso, the American football coach who doesn't know shit about soccer, and the bit is still funny....
Dallas Stars Owner Found Guilty of Bizarre Environmental Charges
Dallas Stars owner Tom Gaglardi was found guilty of two counts of harmful alteration of a fish habitat, Kamloops This Week reports today. And a former employee testified that Gaglardi told him to throw a computer drive in a lake when authorities started investigating. That was a very bad idea. ...
Independent Baseball League Adopts New Rules To Speed Up Games
The Atlantic League, and eight-team professional independent baseball league, has decided to get a little creative and institute some new rules that will help speed up the pace of play....
Guy Who Sued Ryan Braun Arrested For Posting Brotastic Deposition Vids
Earlier this week, Ralph Sasson posted video of his depositions from his now-dismissed defamation lawsuit against Ryan Braun. Unfortunately for Sasson, all filings and discovery (which includes deposition transcripts and videos) in the case were sealed via court order because the ordering judge was ...
Brady Aiken's College Eligibility Might Be In Jeopardy
In addition to revealing the Astros as shitty jerks, the Brady Aiken saga has also reminded the world of the existence of one of the NCAA's silliest and most farcical rules: players like Aiken aren't allowed to hire agents for MLB negotiating purposes if they want to retain collegiate eligibility. T...
Astros Fail To Sign First Overall Pick Brady Aiken By Deadline
The Houston Astros had until 5 p.m. EDT today to reach a deal with lefty pitcher Brady Aiken, the first overall pick in this year's MLB Draft. The Astros did not reach a deal....
Guy Suing Ryan Braun Posts Highlight Reel Of His Brotastic Deposition
Ralph Sasson, the typically aggro-bro law student you see in the video above, is a former long-time friend of Ryan Braun's who is suing the Brewers star and Braun's agent, Nez Balelo, for defamation. Sasson is also the kind of guy who's not afraid to say "fuck it" and post not only his full 90-minut...
Tyler Seguin Let Someone Drive A Golf Ball Off His Crotch
Dallas Stars center Tyler Seguin hosted a charity golf tournament, and at one point, he put a golf ball on a tee on his crotch and let a guy take a swing at it. What more is there to say? Wait, Tyler, did it tickle?...
This Man Should Be Brazil's Next Manager
The Brazilian soccer association has confirmed reports that Brazil's manager, Luiz Felipe Scolari, has resigned. Huge surprise! Luckily, we've come up with the perfect, if unconventional, choice to be his successor....
Runway Food Run Amok: Crowning Aspen's "King Of Porc"
After about 90 minutes at Grand Cochon in Aspen, Colorado, it all starts going to your head. Whether it's a function of being crowded into a century-old ballroom with hundreds of others at an altitude of 8,000 feet, the cumulative effect of spending three days treating wine as one of the four main f...
Italy's Claudio Marchisio Gets Red Card For Despicable Tackle
Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. ...
Watch USMNT Fail Miserably On The Island Green At TPC Sawgrass
As part of ESPN's and U.S. Soccer's documentary series Inside: U.S. Soccer's March to Brazil, the team took a group trip to TPC Sawgrass and got to take a hack at the famed island 17 hole. It did not go well. ...
Storm Damage Greatly Improves Name Of Tennessee Car Wash
Welcome to Asstime Car Wash, where there's always time for ass....
Galen Rupp Mask Forecast: High, With A Chance Of Stupid Photos
Some people look badass in masks. Galen Rupp does not....
Screencap Classix: You Are Not The Father
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
True Expression Is Making Your Own Running Clothes
When Maggie Vessey toes the line at this year's pre-Prefontaine Classic on Friday night, you'll notice her. And it's not because she's tall or blonde or statuesque—though she's all these things. You'll notice her because while the half-milers that surround her are in muted black uniforms with the o...