ass Page 248 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Attorneys In The Jameis Winston Case Are Going After Each Other
Florida State University has finally gotten around to conducting its Title IX-mandated investigation of the Jameis Winston sexual assault case, which means it's time for attorneys from both sides to start taking shots at each other....


Derek Jeter Ass-Eating Gossip We Really Want To Be True
Today, a tipster sent us a bit of gossip about Derek Jeter's sex life that comes from what he claims to be a very reliable source. This gossip is likely no more true than similar stories we've come across in the past, but we really, really want it to be true. ...

Arkansas State Player Pretends To Die On Fake Punt, For Some Reason
This happened during Saturday's game between Arkansas State and Miami. I know nothing else about why it happened or who is responsible for it happening, but I feel it's better that way. Let's not worry about details, and instead just enjoy this GIF, courtesy of our friends at Vice Sports....

This Hug Of The UMass Kicker Is Just Mean
UMass — the University of Massachusetts football team — blew a 31-20 lead on the road at Vanderbilt, and then missed this 22-yard field goal that could've sent it to overtime....

Fake Quote About Derek Carr Getting Mall Tacos Makes It Into AP Story
On Friday night, a story on Raiders DE Justin Tuck moved across the Associated Press wire. It contained the following quote from coach Dennis Allen about rookie QB Derek Carr, emphasis mine:...

Lagunitas Sucks Is America's Finest Quart Of Beer
One of these days I'm going to write about 40s—it would be irresponsible to forever ignore one of the most iconic corners of American beer culture—but I keep putting it off, because I can't find a worthwhile angle beyond nostalgia. Most of your better brewers opt not to package their wares in 40-oun...

This Game Has Been No <em>Vacation</em> For Arkansas State
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
![Yep, That's An Idiot's Dong Featured On ESPN.com [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/vbmcnxwu1jgw4cs8rbhl.jpg)
Yep, That's An Idiot's Dong Featured On ESPN.com [NSFW]
Tonight's Cubs-Cardinals game in St. Louis was interrupted by an Idiot On The Field who invaded Busch Stadium's turf clad only in a pair of boxers. One AP photographer spotted the hooligan just as he was apprehended with his junk hanging out the fly of his shorts; ESPN proceeded to put the photo on ...

Centerplate Will Make Dog-Abusing CEO Volunteer At Dog Shelter
Stadium caterer Centerplate announced that it is forcing Desmond Hague to donate $100,000 to form a charity called the Sade Foundation "in honor of the dog he mistreated in the elevator." The company is also requiring that he serve 1,000 hours of community service working with "an organization that ...

Asshole CEO Of Stadium Caterer Caught On Video Abusing Dog
The asshole you see repeatedly kicking and yanking this dog all over the place—at one point lifting the dog up off the ground by the leash—is Desmond Hague, CEO of Centerplate. If you've ever been to a sporting event, you've probably bought something from him; Centerplate is a food service company...

Matt Cassel Named Vikings' Starting QB Over Teddy Bridgewater
Per Jay Glazer, Vikings players were told this morning that Matt Cassel will be the No. 1 QB, while rookie Teddy Bridgewater will start the season on the bench. ...

Premier League Text Message Scandal Is Making Everybody Stupid
May you never have to be defended by Harry Redknapp. ...

Watch These Fools Try To Shove A Gigantic Sofa Into A Very Tiny Car
Seriously though, what the hell was ever the plan here?...

Glasshole Wants You To Wear A Computer On Your Face While You Cook
National Geographic magazine, a mail-order Caring About Things merit badge for baby boomers, has been running a "Future of Food" series on the Plate, its food blog, for the past few months. This month's entry was written by Mary Beth Albright, an attorney, food writer, and former contestant on Food...

These Lil-Ass Bears Are Cuter Than Hell
Damn, man, get a load of these tiny bears. Those are some tiny bears! ...

Whatever Happened To Sports On Earth?
Originally published at The Classical....

