ass Page 249 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Proper Dress Code For Getting Shitfaced At The Ballpark
Today our Tom Ley goofed on the silly new dress code restrictions for the St. Louis Cardinals Ballpark Village (i.e., a place where bros from Dardenne Prairie will get shitfaced after another triumphant Cardinals win against a morally inferior opponent). Ley pointed out that there was no shortage o...
Watch This Chicago 'L' Train Jump The Tracks And Run Up An Escalator
The other day, a Chicago Transit Authority operator apparently fell asleep, and the Blue Line train she was running consequently jumped the tracks at O'Hare and ran up a god damn escalator, injuring 32 people, causing an estimated $6 million in damage and screwing up commutes all over the city. Here...
Bob Knight Can't Stay Away From The Rape Metaphors
Bob Knight, who famously told Connie Chung in 1988 that ''if rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it,'' once again went to the well of sexual assault-themed metaphors on Mike & Mike today....
Classy Coach K Congratulates Mercer In Their Locker Room, With Class
Last night, reader Will sent the Deadspin staff this email, with the subject line "Dook":...
Rich Peverley Will Not Return This Season
Rich Peverley, Lindy Ruff, and team-affiliated doctors appeared at a press conference this afternoon to answer questions about his Monday collapse, and to announce that Peverley's season is over....
Down The Drain With Roger Angell
Over at the Nieman Storyboard Elon Green talks to Roger Angell about Angell's 1975 profile of Steve Blass:...
How The Decision To Postpone Blue Jackets-Stars Was Made
When Rich Peverley collapsed, everyone—from the players who immediately summoned help, to the medical staff who treated him, to the officials who decided to postpone the game, to the league and in-arena personnel who kept fans informed—did their jobs perfectly and kept a scare from becoming a traged...
Rich Peverley Wanted To Get Back In Game After Regaining Consciousness
A brutally honest Lindy Ruff addressed the media following Rich Peverley's mid-game cardiac event and said the first thing Peverley asked him when he came to was how much time was left in the first period. Ruff was still visibly shaken and told reporters he had no interest in coaching a game right ...
![CBJ-Stars Game Postponed After Rich Peverley Collapses [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/xhwfszqinpiyvrknlaiq.jpg)
CBJ-Stars Game Postponed After Rich Peverley Collapses [UPDATE]
Dallas Stars forward Rich Peverley collapsed during tonight's Blue Jackets-Stars game in Dallas, leading the game to be suspended pending news of his condition....
How To Get Your Kid's Marker Stains Out Of The Goddamn Couch
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....
In Dallas, They Throw Cowboys Hats Onto The Ice
Tyler Seguin's ice-girl-delighting hat trick against a demoralized Canucks team couldn't have been more Texas. Among the hats to fly was one big, black cowboy hat—briefly modeled by linesman Derek Amell:...
Tyler Seguin's Hat Trick Makes Ice Girls Flip Out
[After Tyler Seguin scored the third goal of his hat trick in a 6-1 win over the Canucks, the Dallas Stars Ice Girls went bonkers. It's an example of celebration distilled to its purest form: jumping and yelling because something cool happened. Photo by LM Otero/AP. H/t to Marc.]...
Delusional Rec-League Softball Coach Has 11 Insane Questions For You
Reader Jon almost joined a rec softball league "run by the world's biggest asshole." Let's have a look at Coach Dave's questionnaire for all incoming recruits, shall we?...
Frank Martin To Player: "Answer The Fucking Question, Asshole!"
Frank Martin, the scariest college basketball coach in the world, has been suspended for one game by the University of South Carolina after being caught cursing out one of his own players during Tuesday's game against Florida. ...
Tiny Person Tim Lincecum And Large Person Kameron Loe Traded Uniforms
Here's some fun spring training shenanigans courtesy of the San Francisco Giants, who understand that people wearing comically ill-fitting clothes is always funny. Tim Lincecum, who is just 5-foot-11, traded uniforms with Kameron Loe, who is 6-foot-8. Much fun was had....
Albert Belle Is Still A Glorious Asshole
One of the worst things about getting older is watching age wear down everyone else's edges, and wondering if the same thing is happening to you. That radical you knew is now a lawyer who hems and haws a lot about working inside the system, that one guy in the band you liked does corporate training...
Tim Thomas Torn From Loving Arms Of Roberto Luongo
Tim Thomas will take his tire-pumping efforts elsewhere. He's heading to Texas, which, let's be honest, is cosmically right. His newest old teammate took it poorly:...
The Vancouver Canucks' Millionaire Uniforms Are Quite Snazzy
The Canucks might be currently struggling for a playoff spot, but at least they're looking nice while doing it....
Marlins President Eliminated On First Night Of <em>Survivor</em>
Miami Marlins president and inveterate asshole David Samson failed to make it through even one evening of this new season of Survivor without being eliminated after his tribe voted overwhelmingly to eject the smarmy thug from the program....
Kansas State Player High-Fives Invisible Teammates Between Free Throws
Kansas State's Wesley Iwundu took technical free throws against Texas Tech tonight, meaning that there were no teammates on the lines to high-five between shots. Iwundu still went through the motions, though....