ass Page 253 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Running 50 Miles Across Kansas Was Actually Kind Of Awesome
I ran in the Bison 50 Relay race from Topeka to Lawrence, Kansas last weekend. It was 50 miles and surprisingly not the worst thing I've ever done. Next week I'll run a half-marathon in Florida and then, well, I don't know what I'll do. Probably get re-fat on alcohol and seasonal treats for the nex...
Don't Pay For NBA League Pass Broadband! It's Straight Up Garbage.
We're starting to get complaints from people who paid their hard earned money for NBA's League Pass Broadband, presumably because they were unaware that it is just about the worst thing in the world, and are now angry because they're stuck with a non-functional service and horrifyingly non-responsiv...
Random Football Rap Lyric Of The Day
In honor of Ghostface's first record, released on this date in 1996....
How An Achilles Tear Affects NBA Players (Or, Why Kobe Is Screwed)
The Lakers season begins tonight with their home opener against the Clippers, but Kobe Bryant won't be playing. Bryant tore his Achilles tendon on April 12, and while he's still "ahead of schedule" in his six-to-nine-month recovery, he still hasn't begun running. He will miss at least the first seve...
Rex Ryan's Odd Obsession With Passer Rating
According to the New York Times, the Jets coach "cares deeply" about passer rating, that much-maligned, simplistic, often misleading statistic dismissed by many as a curio. He uses it to evaluate his and opposing quarterbacks, and considers it one of the leading indicators of team success—even as it...
No Matter How Far You Go, You Can't Outrun Stupid
You think you've exhausted the myriad avenues available to you in which it is possible to be an idiot at life and then you have a week like this one. Whatever the opposite of Mad Genius is, that's me. Recovering Fatass Soundtrack: Sane Moron Edition. Let's get down to brass tacks, shall we? Your Spo...
Police Arrest Confessed Killer Of Texas Fisherman Jimmy Johnson
Jimmy Johnson got shot dead by the good-for-nothing who was stealing from his bass boat in the parking lot of Motel 6 in Jackson, Mississippi....
Cruelty Unchained. <em>Twelve Years A Slave</em>, Reviewed.
1. Twelve Years a Slave is a devastating movie experience, one that will leave you shaking with anger. This is not an attempt to shed new light on the shame of slavery, or, heaven forbid, a winky postmodern re-imagining of slavery as a self-referential cinematic revenge fantasy. (After seeing Twelve...
Small Town Turns On Girl Who Was Allegedly Raped By HS Football Player
Here's a depressing story that will bring back memories of the Steubenville rape case. It begins with a 14-year-old drunk girl getting dumped on her porch by the high school football player who had just allegedly raped her, and it ends with her family being driven out of town by an unsupportive comm...
Breakfast Is A Pain In The Ass, But Probably Helpful
It is October, a time for drinking seasonal beers and being hearty. I am not drinking seasonal beers because I gave up drinking for the month because of an upcoming race. I gave up drinking for running; it's terrible. As you're reading this, I am likely getting drunk at a football game. Here is your...
Top-Ranked College Hockey Team Loses First Game To Scrubs
It only took one game for the UMass Lowell River Hawks to screw up their No. 1 ranking, and boy, did they screw it up in a stupid way....
Look At These Bleak Photos Of North Korea's First Ski Resort
The Masik Pass ski resort is North Korea's latest white elephant. The project took 10 months of labor and will officially open this Thursday for the public, even though most of the citizens can't afford to visit it....
Contained Space: <em>Captain Phillips,</em> Reviewed.
1. There's a moment in Paul Greengrass' United 93, one of the best films of the last decade, in which we are invited not to sympathize with the hijackers of Flight 93, exactly, but at least take a look at them as humans, if just for a moment. They're monsters, but they're people, on that plane, too,...
The Champ And The Chump: The Meaning Of Liston-Clay I
Originally published on March 7, 1964, in The New Republic. Reprinted here with the permission of the author's family....
Running Uphill Is The Worst, But You Should Probably Still Do It
I am now mere weeks away from some kind of buffalo/cow/large land-mammal-themed relay race in Kansas City and a few weeks more removed from the Wine and Dine half-marathon in Florida. I'm also going on a booze sabbatical. Things are terrible lately. Come, join in the misery and music. Here's the Spo...
Brandon Bass Has The Time Of His Life Learning How To Swim
The Boston Celtics' Brandon Bass doesn't know how to swim, so he's learning how in a class filled with students roughly as tall as his legs in. Adorable....
Watch UMass Football Players Beat Each Other Up In Team-Building Drill
Last week, the Daily Hampshire Gazette posted a video shot during a UMass offseason session in 2012 that features a bunch of football players beating the shit out of each other. Or, as UMass coach Charley Molar would later describe it, a "team-building" exercise that instills "mental toughness." ...
Boxing Referee Dishes Out Street Justice On Unruly Fighter
This occurred at, no joke, an event called White Collar Fight Club. I don't know what the hell White Collar Fight Club is, but I do know that its referees don't take shit from anyone....
Nat Moore's Helicopter Catch
Leave it to Dave Tompkins to give us something surprising like this Grantland piece on Nat Moore, NFL wide receiver and Miami Bass pioneer:...