ass Page 258 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Running Uphill Is The Worst, But You Should Probably Still Do It
I am now mere weeks away from some kind of buffalo/cow/large land-mammal-themed relay race in Kansas City and a few weeks more removed from the Wine and Dine half-marathon in Florida. I'm also going on a booze sabbatical. Things are terrible lately. Come, join in the misery and music. Here's the Spo...
Brandon Bass Has The Time Of His Life Learning How To Swim
The Boston Celtics' Brandon Bass doesn't know how to swim, so he's learning how in a class filled with students roughly as tall as his legs in. Adorable....
Watch UMass Football Players Beat Each Other Up In Team-Building Drill
Last week, the Daily Hampshire Gazette posted a video shot during a UMass offseason session in 2012 that features a bunch of football players beating the shit out of each other. Or, as UMass coach Charley Molar would later describe it, a "team-building" exercise that instills "mental toughness." ...
Boxing Referee Dishes Out Street Justice On Unruly Fighter
This occurred at, no joke, an event called White Collar Fight Club. I don't know what the hell White Collar Fight Club is, but I do know that its referees don't take shit from anyone....
Nat Moore's Helicopter Catch
Leave it to Dave Tompkins to give us something surprising like this Grantland piece on Nat Moore, NFL wide receiver and Miami Bass pioneer:...
Vanderbilt O-Lineman Motivates His Team By Freaking The Hell Out
Last Saturday, Vanderbilt led UMass 10-7 heading into halftime. Vandy offensive lineman Wesley Johnson was apparently not impressed by the three-point lead, and he let his team know about it by flipping his shit in the locker room....
It's Matt Cassel Time For The Vikings
The fact that Matt Cassel will start for Minnesota on Sunday against the Steelers in London actually does nothing to settle the Vikings' unsettled QB situation. Sure, Christian Ponder's been terrible, tossing five INTs to two touchdowns and sitting in the third tertile of nearly every passing stat, ...
Sam Gagner's Broken Jaw Is Grotesque
Dear lord, Sam Gagner, what happened to your face?! Oh right, Zack Kassian's stick....
Old People Think Younger Kids Aren't Running Fast Because Of <i>The Wire</i>
Welcome back to Recovering Fatass Soundtrack, where talk about running, music and, this week, how old people are the worst. I went full albums again this week (with some randos sprinkled in to make up the time), which is why I've organized some as "Band, Album." A full album is kind of like an instr...
Life Is A Lot Better When You Don't Expect Much Of Yourself
What a smooth week of being physically fit and observing a healthy, balanced diet it has been. What say we gather 'round the chiminea and swap stories of our personal triumphs? And share music, too. Here's a Spotify playlist. Let's get to it....
Terry Bradshaw: "I Wouldn't Have Fucked His Old, Ugly-Ass Mother"
Maybe you're wondering, on this crisp Saturday morning, Deadspin, how could we possibly know if Terry Bradshaw would or would not fuck some unidentified person's old, ugly-ass mother? That's a very personal preference of Terry's to claim knowledge of. A fair question. The answer: he said it on live...
This 7-Year-Old Jets Fan Is A Little Asshole
And so is his cousin. She posted this on YouTube, and clearly thinks that the fact that this kid is a little asshole is super cute. It's not super cute. It's going to get him punched in the face in ten years....
<em>Sports Illustrated</em> Falls For Satire About Nick Saban Visiting Texas
What you see above is the story that went screaming out on the SI Wire at SI.com earlier today. Technically, it's true: Nick Saban is indeed visiting Texas this weekend—but only because Alabama's showdown with Texas A&M is still scheduled for Saturday in College Station. But that's not all SI.com is...
Audiobooks Are For Communists And Charles Bronson Villains
We welcome September into our lives and all it has to offer: sweet weather, the NFL, meaningful baseball games and two months before I have to run 13.1 consecutive miles. It's a pretty decent time to be alive; let's talk about why it's not. Here's your Spotify playlist....
Arkansas State Penalized For Not Knowing How To Contrast Colors
Before the first offensive play of Saturday's Arkansas State-Auburn game, the Red Wolves were penalized 15 yards for their heinous uniforms....
Disturbing Allegations Emerge In Vanderbilt Rape Case
Further details have come out concerning the June 23 rape of a 21-year-old woman that led to the dismissal of four Vanderbilt football players, including junior college transfer, Brandon Vandenburg. According to a report from BuzzFeed, the incident was worse than previously reported and at least one...
The 16 Fall Movies You Should Be Excited About: A Guide
Labor Day is the signpost every year that the sugary summer junk is behind us and that the nutritious square meal of awards season has finally arrived. That's the theory, anyway: In actuality, summer movies like Before Midnight and Fruitvale Station will be as well-received as any Oscar bait, and th...
When The Treadmill Makes You Hate What You Once Loved
I discovered something this week on the treadmill. God, the treadmill is just the worst. The absolute worst. That's not the discovery. Calling that a discovery is like saying Christopher Columbus discovered the Americas. What I'm saying is: the Vikings were somehow involved in the manufacturing of a...
The Dolphins Tweeted Out A Picture Of A Big Naked Dolphin Ass
We've seen bigger and naked-er asses before, but this one is noteworthy simply because it was shared by the team's official Twitter account. Who says social media editors are useless? ...
