ass Page 264 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Arkansas State Football Fans Get Ready For The Sun Belt Conference Championship Game In This Terrible Hype Video

I don't know who any of these people are. I'm going to assume that at least some of them are affiliated with Arkansas State University. Then again, one guy appears to be a doctor, and another is wearing a shitty Blues Brother costume. So who the hell knows....

The NHL turned to professional mediators. One of them turned out to be a little too into AssMode....

Which TV Market Is Getting Screwed This Sunday? An Analysis Of Week 12 NFL Viewing Maps

The NFL's regional programming rules are famously byzantine, but luckily the506.com cuts through the bullshit for you, providing weekly maps that allow us to answer the only question that really matters: Which fans are the most screwed this Sunday?...

How To Eat Your Leftovers: A Guide For Slobs

The morning following Thanksgiving is a bleary, cotton-mouthed, dead-eyed time—a time for questions, a time of Reckoning. "Oh, Jesus, how much did I drink yesterday?" and, "Am I going to die?" and, "Why do I keep doing this to myself?" and, "Am I in Fort Worth? How did I come to be in Fort Worth?" T...

The Jetsiest Jets Play Ever: Mark Sanchez Fumbles After Getting Floored By His Lineman's Ass

A Mark Sanchez fumble, caused by a teammate's ass in mid-pratfall, returned for a touchdown. God bless you, New York Jets. You're one of life's inherently funny things, like words with "k" sounds or Millard Fillmore or talking bears. ...

College ShameDay: Who Embarrassed Themselves On Saturday (Besides Kansas State, Of Course)?

Our weekly college football shame index. ...

Losses By Oregon, Kansas State Ensure All-SEC Title Game

Welp, it happened. Kansas State, once thought unbeatable†, loosed the SI-cover-jinx-aided mother of all bedshits Saturday. Call it the revenge of the Southwest* Conference: Texas A&M downs the No. 1 Crimson Tide last week, Baylor (editor's note: LOL) conks the Wildcats this week. This is agonizingly...

Kansas State Gets Blown Out By Baylor And Oregon Falls To Stanford At Home As The Top Two BCS Teams Get Their First Losses On The Same Night

A week from college football's end-of-season reckoning and Kansas State and Oregon, ranked first and second respectively in the BCS standings going into today's games, have taken their first losses of the season. The defeats likely pave the way for a new BCS leader in (gulp) Notre Dame, a 38-0 win...

Rick Majerus Is Retiring Due To Heart Problems, So Let's Remember His Career The Way He'd Want It Remembered

Rick Majerus will no longer be lumbering up and down the sidelines at St. Louis University: He's been forced into retirement by a heart condition. The nature of Majerus's exit has led to a bunch of staid and somber reflections on his life and career, with passsages like this, from USA Today:...

How To Make A Thanksgiving Side Dish: A Guide For Slackers And Overgrown Children

So Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and if you're lucky, somebody the hell else is hosting it. Lost amid all the talk in recent years of various turkey-cooking methods—the relative merits of roasting versus deep-frying; whether to brine the bird or cook it upside down or baste it every few f...

Which TV Market Is Getting Screwed This Sunday? An Analysis Of Week 11 NFL Viewing Maps

The NFL's regional programming rules are famously byzantine, but luckily the506.com cuts through the bullshit for you, providing weekly maps that allow us to answer the only question that really matters: Which fans are the most screwed this Sunday?...

Brandon Marshall Took A Picture In Front Of A Big Naked Bear Ass

When Brandon Marshall arrived at the stadium this morning, he was excited to find a package from the University of Central Florida (his alma mater) waiting for him....

The Era Of Profane T-Shirts On TV Continues As Minutemen Fan's "UMass Fuckin Amherst" Shirt Finds ESPN Camera

It started last year with West Fuckin' Virginia, continued this Sunday with Baltimore Fuckin' Maryland, and lest you think the refined gentry of Massachusetts residents were above extraneous profanity, there it was yesterday during ESPN's outstanding basketball marathon—sans the requisite apostroph...

Former NFLer Jerramy Stevens Arrested After Alleged Domestic Assault Involving Hope Solo; No Charges Will Be Filed [UPDATE]

Details are still rolling in, but check out this series of tweets that started going around in the last few minutes from Chris Daniels, a reporter for KING-TV in Seattle, which you can see below....

College ShameDay: Who Embarrassed Themselves On Saturday (Besides Sad, Sad Tennessee)?

Our weekly college football shame index. ...

Jerry Jones Spoke To Reporters In Front Of A Big Naked Cowboy Ass

Jerry Jones likes to do his media scrum in the middle of the Cowboys' locker room—That's why he was so furious last week when he was locked out. But things went better yesterday, both on the field (a 38-23 win in Philadelphia) and with the press. Except for that little matter of an unidentified pl...

Did A Camera Operator Just Pass Out Live On <em>SportsCenter</em>? [UPDATE: He's OK]

Amidst the breathless reporting of Chris Broussard's "sources" on the Mike D'Antoni hiring, ESPN managed to squeeze in a cognition-degrading segment hosted by short tie advocate Merril Hoge....

Dallas Has A Crack Problem

Fumble pileups in the NFL are usually the scene for football's ugliest moves; fortunately (or unfortunately) viewers are usually spared the worst of what happens after a ball hits the turf. Sometimes, though, it happens out in the open, as Cowboys safety Eric Frampton learned while trying to recove...

Happy Veterans Day! Here Are Some Really Happy Dogs Welcoming Soldiers Home

Originally published Nov. 11, 2010....

Deshazor Everett's Name And His Interception To Beat Alabama Are Equally Fantastic

As subplots go, the Alabama-Texas A&M game had an unexpected one from the end of the first quarter through the tense final minute: an errant extra point. Up until the decisive few seconds, when a Bama penalty on an Aggies punt killed the dregs of game clock, there lingered the question of whether...