ass Page 264 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Massive Bench-Clearing Brawl Erupts At Mexico-Canada WBC Game
So far, the World Baseball Classic has been everything the quadrennial tournament is expected to be: irrelevant, uninteresting, and disruptive to MLB teams' Spring Training plans....

Google Translating World Baseball Classic Coverage: "The Shortstop, Jimmy Rollins Hit Embazó With The Forest Law"
Last night, the U.S. played its first game in this year's World Baseball Classic, and we learned a number of things: 1. America's official language is English, 2. The best the U.S. can do for an ace in an international competition is a kuckle-balling 38-year old, and 3. "With people on the pads, Lui...

The United States Does Not Have An Official Language, No Matter What The MLB Network Tells You
The establishment of an official language has long been a political flashpoint. Though it was once a favored cause for Presidents of generally good repute, it's now mostly a topic invoked to effortlessly rile up nativists and a touchstone for people hell-bent on alienating furr-uh-nurrs. Ordinances ...

Google Translating WBC Coverage: Jason Grilli Is The Author Of Our Salvation
The World Baseball Classic is well underway, which means that the eyes of the international media are fixated upon the games. It also means that we have the opportunity to run game recaps from foreign media outlets through Google Translate for the sake of our own amusement....

Fernando Rodney's Cap Alignment Status Shows He's Already In Regular Season Form
The World Baseball Classic is underway, and while the quadrennial exhibition tournament of pre-authorized or discarded players has featured a few upsets (Italy beats Mexico! Holland beats Cuba!) there are, fortunately, a few things you can rely upon....

Spring Training Long And Boring, Baseball Players Report
Baseball! It's the perfect sport for a laid-back afternoon, but it can drag. After what seems like an eternity of game after game, inning after inning, baking under the hot sun and trying not to get injured, you finally power through the dog days and arrive at the games that really matter: opening d...

The Islanders And Nassau County Are Getting Divorced, So It's Time To Pay Up
This we knew, but now things are getting ugly. Even setting aside the actual product on the ice for a moment, the recent history of the Islanders in Nassau County has been miserable. A terrible lease for a terrible arena has kept them shackled in a county that can't afford to pay for anything even ...

World Number One Rory McIlroy Walked Off The Course Because He Was Having A Mental Breakdown His Teeth Hurt
Yesterday, reigning PGA champ Rory McIlroy walked off the course at the Honda Classic in Florida after a day of subpar golf, eight holes into a second round for which he was already seven strokes over par. As reporters trailed him on his way out, he said he was in a "bad place mentally," which doesn...

Russell Martin Leaves Canada's WBC Team Because They Won't Let Him Play Shortstop
Pirates backstop Russell Martin doesn't want to be a catcher. It's boring. You have to crouch all game. You never get to run around. You rarely get to throw the ball beyond returning it to the pitcher. Rather than getting to enjoy a sunny afternoon on the diamond, you have to spend every moment goin...

Don't Look Now, But The NHL's Best Hockey Is Out West
You could be forgiven for feeling a twinge of nostalgia for the Western Conference yesterday, after news emerged that the NHL is nearing an agreement on radical realignment. The new setup is better almost every way: less travel, more geographic rivalries, the chance for every team to host every othe...

FYI: Tackling A Streaker May Result In A Face Full Of Balls And Ass
And we all have Ruben Wiki, a trainer for the New Zealand Warriors and a former rugby player, to thank for the helpful demonstration, captured here by the Otago Daily Times of Dunedin, NZ. A naked man had dashed across the pitch during halftime of Saturday's National Rugby League trial game between ...

Sext-Happy Former Toledo Running Coach Denies Sex Harassment, Other Claims; Former Runners Say He's Lying
On Saturday, Kevin Hadsell, the former director of the University of Toledo's track and cross country programs, sat down with a local news station for his first interview since our story about his departure amid sexual harassment claims. He was by turns defiant and penitent. He cried some, too, as h...

Cliff Paul, Chris Paul’s Suspiciously Clark Kent-Like Twin Brother, Got To Go To All-Star Weekend
Turns out that if you're just a normal, unassuming insurance salesman, and you suddenly discover that you have a long-lost, pro basketball-playing twin brother, then you get to experience all sorts of celebrity perks, like going to the All-Star game last weekend. Must be nice......

South Korean Pro Team Cancels WBC Exhibition Against Cuba Because The Cubans Brought Weird Balls
Mildly scandalous behavior continues to plague the run-up to the World Baseball Classic. Yesterday, we had Taiwanese scouts disguising themselves as umpires and infiltrating a South Korean exhibition, and today we have a South Korean pro team refusing to play against the Cuban national team because...

Ahead Of The WBC, Taiwan Sends Scouts Posing As Umpires To Spy On South Korean Team
You might not realize it from the USA's roster, but many countries think the World Baseball Classic is important. One of those is Taiwan, which is expecting big things. After failing to get out of a group of death in the 2009 tournament, they enter this year's WBC ranked fifth in the world—just a sp...

When Is It OK For A Coach To Shove A Player?
Early in the second half, with Cal down 12 to USC at home, head coach Mike Montgomery called a timeout. When junior Allen Crabbe, the Golden Bears' leading scorer, reached the bench he was met with a sharp shove in the chest. Crabbe and Montgomery exchanged angry words, and Crabbe had to be separ...

How Clark Olson Beats Everyone Else In Fantasy Everything
The guy who just beat everyone else in America at all the fantasy sports, again, is a computer science professor who is not so much into trades but who is really, really into spreadsheets. Clark Olson, the 2012 winner of ESPN's omnibus Uber Challenge fantasy game, again, tallied the high score acros...

Here's A Video Of Dogs Saying "I Love You"
Originally published Feb. 14, 2011....

How One Man's Hard-Luck Journey Through The Indie Wrestling Circuit Ended Behind A Deli Counter
During his 10-plus year career, Nigel McGuinness, the former Ring of Honor World Champion, wasn't recognized much away from wrestling. There was that one time on the New York City subway, but he was commuting to a match and there were wrestling fans on the train. Being spotted in the Tampa delicate...

Basketball Legend John Salley Is Here Right Now To Answer Your Questions
Most of you probably know John Salley from his 2009 breakout performance in Confessions of a Shopaholic. But — as it turns out — John is actually a really famous, and incredibly accomplished basketball superstar. "Four championship rings, with three different teams, in three different decades and t...