ass Page 265 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Gilbert Arenas Is Selling His DC-Area Mansion, Complete With Million-Dollar Grotto
Way back in 2008, Gilbert Arenas began work on his million-dollar swimming pool at his Great Falls, Va., mansion. D.C. Sports Bog had some photos of the project under construction, and it looked like a millionaire athlete's fever dream: a full stone grotto complete with its own hot tub, bar, fish t...

Wes Welker Gets Hair Transplant, Hair Transplant Reported By Associated Press For Some Reason
It's not even the weirdness of the AP treating Wes Welker's hair transplant as news:...

Miguel Batista No Longer On Best Team In Baseball
To be fair, he never really was on the best team in baseball, but the Mets designated Miguel Batista for assignment on Sunday morning....

MSG Chairman James Dolan: Asswipe Or Schmuck? Let's Discuss!
The discussion about the Jeremy Lin non-signing has mostly portrayed the Knicks' decision to let Lin walk as the deeply considered output of a complex financial calculus. Well, apparently not! The Knicks didn't match Houston's contract offer because their owner, James Dolan had his wittle feelings ...

Ann Romney's Horse Hangs Out With Assholes
So, part of my job as a Deadspin intern has involved writing some those fun Olympic field guides that you may have seen on the site recently. Today I started writing one about Ann Romney's dressage horse, Rafalca, who will be competing in the London Olympics. I wanted to get a nice photo of Rafalca...

Whatever Happened To The "Dangerous Damn Sport" Of Six-Day Bike Races?
"Erv was a professional 6 day bike racer who competed at Madison Square Garden, Chicago Coliseum, Montreal and Toronto, Canada. During WWII, he parachuted into Normandy Beach on D Day."...

Elvis Dumervil Arrested, Accused Of Aggravated Assault With A Firearm
The Broncos defensive end was arrested Saturday night in Miami. Police have not commented on what lead to Dumervil's arrest, but according to CBS Denver, the police report alleges aggravated assault with a firearm and bond was set at $7,500. According to Pro Football Talk, the allegations amount to ...

Pro Golfer Misses Cut, Vows To Have Sex With Wife
Kris Blanks is the 201st ranked player in the world and 121st in the FedEx Cup. On Thursday and Friday, Blanks participated in the John Deere Classic in Silvis, Illinois. He will not be playing today or tomorrow because he missed the cut by one measly stroke....

Black Hawk Helicopter Pilot Survives 50-Foot Fall During Alaskan Mountain Race
At 12:50 pm on July 4, photographer Carol Griswold captured this amazing photograph of 34-year-old Penny Assman, a Black Hawk helicopter pilot from Utah who served two tours in Iraq, coming to the conclusion of a 50-foot slide-and-fall during the annual Mount Marathon footrace. Basically, everyone r...

A Dispatch From "Williamsburg Night" At The Brooklyn Cyclones Game
Last week, we treated you to a lovely photo essay from the Brooklyn Cyclones' "Williamsburg Night."...

Associated Press: Oklahoma City Thunder Sign Brian Westbrook And The Guy From <em>27 Dresses</em>, Serge Ibaka Excited To Play Them In Olympics
Oklahoma City Thunder power forward Serge Ibaka will be playing for the Spanish national team at this year's summer Olympics. Today, the Associated Press published a relatively mundane story about Ibaka's belief that his Spanish team has the talent to compete with the U.S. team....

Jaromir Jagr Signs With Dallas Stars, Is Still Old And Not Very Good
Earlier today, Jaromir Jagr—who said on Sunday that 21 teams made him offers— signed a one-year deal with the Dallas Stars. It's worth $4.5 million....

Tony La Russa: Asshole Or Dipshit? Let's Discuss!
Tony La Russa was never the cuddliest of MLB managers, and he's done a lot of things that would preclude him from ever being invited to anyone's Christmas party. But the big question remains, is La Russa a dipshit or an asshole? Let's settle this in the discussion section below....

Why Do We Have Sideline Reporters? The Original Sideline Reporter Says The Job Is "Just Nonsense"
With Erin Andrews moving to Fox, now's a good time to revisit this 2009 interview with television's first sideline reporter, Jim Lampley. Originally published July 28, 2009....

The Happiest Man In The World: Teófilo Stevenson And Cuba's Lost Fighters
Teófilo Stevenson won his first Olympic gold medal in 1972 and his last world amateur championship in 1986. He won 302 fights and once went an unbelievable 11 years without a loss. Had Cuba not boycotted the 1984 Summer Olympics, many think Stevenson would have won an unmatched four gold medals in...

How "Seven Nation Army" Conquered The Sports World
The Euro 2012 semifinals kick off today, and 69 goals in, you might have noticed one fan chant being sung after every single one. How did an eminently chantable White Stripes ditty become soccer's universal goal celebration? This piece, originally published Jan. 13, 2012, has your answers....

Women's Tennis Is Creating A Grunt-O-Meter
In an effort to address the sport's most overheated and overrated controversy, the Women's Tennis Association is introducing some sort of preposterous grunt-o-meter. Here's USA Today's Doug Robson on what the WTA will be rolling out:...

How Not To Be The Biggest Asshole In Media: 4 Lessons I Learned From Meeting Jay Mariotti And Reading His Awful Book
It's been almost two years since Jay Mariotti last wrote a sports column or appeared on ESPN. In that time, sports media's ur-controversialist—a pioneer of the sportswriters-being-dicks-on-television genre—has pleaded no contest to misdemeanor stalking and assault-related charges stemming from a hai...

Swedish Team In Trouble After Bare-Assed Game Of "Butts Up"
In my schoolyard it was called "butts up." In yours, it might have been "asses up," "wallball," "red ass," "suicide," but the game is the same, and taps in to the primal center of young boys' brains. It's essentially handball, but the first one to run up a certain number of "outs" must lean against ...

Jean Borotra, The Most Interesting Man In Tennis, Won 19 Grand Slams And Escaped A Nazi Prison
Republished from The Classical....