ass Page 266 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Who Will Win This Year's U.S. Open? Probably Someone You've Never Heard Of
Golf's major tournaments just haven't been that interesting lately. Over the last 17 majors, there have been 16 winners. In theory, this could be nice! A little diversity, a little surprise. But since Tiger's sabbatical, we've lost any hope of narrative. Individual sports thrive on story lines, riva...

Lynn Shelton Is The Next Great American Director
Can you believe that only two American women have ever been nominated for an Academy Award in the Best Director category? Two. Awards are too often lazily used as some sort of actual shorthand barometer of quality and consensus—Jesus, people, Crash won, which should have eliminated that notion forev...

Better Know An Umpire: Dan Iassogna
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

Mayor Of Boston Credits "KJ" And "Hondo" For Team's Heart, Success
Mayor Thomas Menino has presided over Boston, city of champions, since 1993. He knows his sports. For instance, he once talked about the time "Varitek split the uprights." Now he's talking about "KJ" and "Hondo," the two Celtics with a lot of heart. He probably means to discuss Kevin "KG" Garnett ...
![How A Teenager With A Fake Escort Service Duped Darren Rovell And CNBC [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17oy9pv00sq5dpng.png)
How A Teenager With A Fake Escort Service Duped Darren Rovell And CNBC [UPDATE]
An 18-year-old high school senior named Tim was bored one day last November when CNBC's sports biz guy, Darren Rovell, sent out the following tweet:...

Dwyane Wade Copes With Brutal Game 5 Loss By Wearing Stupid Glasses
First it was Russell Westbrook, and now it's Dwyane Wade rocking a pair of glasses without lenses in the postgame locker room. Wade may be a fashionable man, but you can't pull off this look after you got your ass beat. LENS-FREE GLASSES ARE FOR CLOSERS. I'm not gonna go as far as Yahoo's Dan Wetzel...

A Masseuse Died In Chris Bosh's House Yesterday
The unnamed woman arrived at the Bosh home around 10:30 a.m. on Monday, "suddenly passed out" in the early afternoon, and died just shy of midnight....

It Feels Like The First Time—Almost. <i>Prometheus</i>, Reviewed.
Prequels may be Hollywood's latest gimmick to repackage old franchises as new movies, but they have one definite advantage over traditional sequels. Whereas parts two, three, four, etc., of a series usually find the filmmakers coming up with plots that move further and further away from the story (a...
![Donald Driver Tosses Shoe To Kid At Charity Game, Very Worst Fan Ever Rips It From Kid's Hands [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17oo70g8v23ddgif.gif)
Donald Driver Tosses Shoe To Kid At Charity Game, Very Worst Fan Ever Rips It From Kid's Hands [UPDATE]
The Rangers fans who deprived a young fan of a baseball sparked debate across television, newspapers and the Internet. Their selfishness, though, pales when compared to what happened today at Donald Driver's charity softball tournament....

Pablo Sandoval Under Investigation For Alleged Sexual Assault
Rehab was going pretty well for San Francisco's third baseman, Pablo Sandoval, until sometime mid-afternoon Friday: working out and rehabbing on his own, enjoying a break from the daily grind of Major League Baseball, getting a little "consensual, personal relationship of a sexual nature" action....

Do Not Ask Kurt Busch About His Probation, Or He Will Threaten To Beat The Shit Out Of You
Resident NASCAR idiot Kurt Busch continued his campaign of jackassery Saturday after the Nationwide Series race at Dover today, verbally attacking a reporter who dared to ask about the probation NASCAR imposed after Busch's May 12 incident with Ryan Newman....

Uncle Gene At The Brigade Open: An Unlikely Host For Fight Night At West Point
Republished from The Classical....

U.S. Gymnastics Turns Its Back On Chellsie Memmel, Genuine Badass
At the 2006 world championships, Chellsie Memmel botched a release during her uneven-bars routine and tore her labrum. This was more or less the beginning of a prolonged shoulder nightmare that would culminate this weekend in the cold-eyed rejection of her bid to compete in the national championship...

Tonight LeBron Needs To Eat Some Old Irish Hearts
Bumblederping around the Web today it's surprising to see how many people expect the Celtics to curl up and die quiet in their series against the Heat, which begins tonight. David Steele over at the Sporting News is among the rare authors who believe three future Hall of Famers plus a tripler of dou...

Happy Memorial Day! Here Are Some Really Happy Dogs Welcoming Soldiers Home
Originally published for Veterans Day on Nov. 11, 2010. Just as affecting today....

The Comeback Pig: Marv Albert, And How To Survive Any Sex Scandal
Today, we are reminded, marks the 15th anniversary of Marv Albert telling a Virginia Circuit Court that he would be pleading innocent to sexually assaulting—biting—his side piece. We thought this, originally published June 27, 2011, would be a nice jaunt down memory lane....
![Another American Basketball Team Brawled In China, And This Time It Involved Throwing Chairs At Spectators [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Another American Basketball Team Brawled In China, And This Time It Involved Throwing Chairs At Spectators [UPDATE]
Details are scarce about this event today in China when a team we're told consists of NBA D-Leaguers brawled with CBA team Zhejiang Lions, leading to chairs being thrown by both teams and—at the very end of this video—by an unidentified American player toward Chinese fans....

The AP Is Gay For Stupid
So I'm reading along, enjoying this pleasant little story by the AP about UConn hockey players appearing in PSAs in which they not only pledge their support to "any teammate, gay or straight, that can help us win games" but do so with a welcome matter-of-factness—as if they were telling you someth...

Man Busted By Reporter For Parking Illegally: "Fuck You. I Hope You Get AIDS."
It's local news sweeps time again, which means reporters are on the prowl with their I-Teams to trump up whatever tired outrage hasn't been covered recently. Fecal matter in iced tea? Eyewitness News is on your side! Cops eating doughnuts and drinking coffee on the job? The I-Team is there!...

What Kind Of Politics Writer Can't Even Use A Sports Metaphor Properly? Most Of Them, Actually.
Republished from The Classical....