ass Page 266 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Which TV Market Is Getting Screwed This Sunday? An Analysis Of NFL Viewing Maps
The NFL's regional programming rules are famously byzantine, which is why the Wikipedia article trying to explain them all is an insane 18,971 words long. (That's enough words to get you two-thirds of the way through Of Mice and Men, for chrissake.)...

There Is An Awful, Awful Quarterback Controversy In Kansas City
Matt Cassel had a tidy little 58.5 completion percentage, had five touchdowns to nine interceptions, and didn't throw a pass longer than 33 yards. Then he got concussed, and some fans cheered. Then Brady Quinn got the start and he went 22-for-38, with two INTs....

The Many, Many Tweets Referring To Alex Rodriguez As "Fag," "Pussy," And "Gay-Rod"
Alex Rodriguez is both straight and male, but you wouldn't know it from the insults lobbed his way on Twitter over the past few days. Here are a few hundred examples....

South Carolina Fan Arrested For Mooning The Crowd At LSU Game
You do get the feeling that Saturday night's game would have been extra-frustrating for a Gamecocks fan who traveled all the way from South Carolina only to watch his No. 3 team get upset in Baton Rouge. So that explains, but does not excuse, the actions of Charles Hattaway, a 34-year-old from Charl...

There Is A Crack In The Yankees Mystique
The captain is sidelined. Poor regular season attendance has become a postseason reality. Even the Yankee Stadium parking lot is failing....

This Week's Signs Of The Apocalypse
For nearly two decades, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to cover the end of times but declines to cede the scoop on the biggest event in world history....

Excerpts From The Recent USADA Report That Make Lance Armstrong Look Like An Asshole
On Wednesday, the United States Anti-Doping Agency released hundreds of pages of allegations against Lance Armstrong purporting to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Armstrong not only doped, but organized a doping ring. The question of whether or not Lance Armstrong used PEDs is basically settle...

Minnesota Vikings Beat Writer Wanted Mike Munchak To Sound The Rusty Trombone
Matt Hasselbeck had kind of a rough day against the Vikings and probably deserved to get yanked, but I think we can all agree that Vikings beat writer Tom Pelissero was probably referring to the "sad trombone" or maybe the old vaudeville gimmick of pulling a guy off the stage with a cane when he sen...

"It's Sickening. And I was Embarrassed": Eric Winston Responds To Kansas City Fans Cheering Matt Cassel Injury
On NFL.com, Matt Cassel's afternoon was described as "an unbridled disaster." He was 9-for-15 with 92 yards and two interceptions. He also had a fumble on a third-quarter drive where the Chiefs were actually moving the ball. Then in the fourth quarter he was knocked out of the game with a head inj...
![Only One Person Replied When The Sun Belt's Commissioner Asked For Phone Numbers On Twitter [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/180mahsexbhuvjpg.jpg)
Only One Person Replied When The Sun Belt's Commissioner Asked For Phone Numbers On Twitter [UPDATE]
Well, he only got one reply that actually included a phone number, and we're too scared to call it, so he probably was too. On Wednesday, the Sun Belt announced a one-game suspension for Arkansas State linebacker Qushaun Lee for an illegal hit against Alcorn State during their Saturday game. The le...

Cheerleaders, Endless Chants, And Fan-Created Performance Art: Why Baseball Games In The Far East Feel Like College Football Games
On my flight to Busan, South Korea I sat next to an older Korean woman sporting a Detroit Tiger hat. It seemed serendipitous that I'd be seated next to a fellow Tigers fan on a vacation planned entirely around seeing baseball games. The issue, which was a big issue, was expressing this....
![Did This Angry Packers Fan Hock A Mean Loogie On The NFL Headquarters' Window? [UPDATE: Yes, As Confirmed By The Spitter Himself]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1808g8y89o502jpg.jpg)
Did This Angry Packers Fan Hock A Mean Loogie On The NFL Headquarters' Window? [UPDATE: Yes, As Confirmed By The Spitter Himself]
This afternoon, we were forwarded the following email from someone who claims to work in the same building where the NFL league offices are housed:...

Old Dominion QB Taylor Heinicke Threw For 730 Yards Today, A D-I Record
Today in Norfolk, Va., a freakin' sophomore quarterback named Taylor Heinicke threw a football 79 times to lead Old Dominion past New Hampshire 64-61. His receivers caught 55 of those passes. Between Heinicke and those receivers, they moved the ball 730 yards via the air. That ridiculous number is a...

The Anti-KStew: In Praise Of Jennifer Lawrence
There are many ways to tell if you've become a popular actress. Your name appears above the title on the poster. You're on the covers of magazines. You get an Oscar nomination. Those are all pretty great things. Then, there are those other ways of finding out that you're popular. These are a lot les...

The Specialists: What's In It For Oregon's Quarterbacks?
Finished in 2010 and funded by a $41.7 million gift from Phil Knight, the John E. Jaqua Academic Center rises from a reflecting pool like the pyramid of the Louvre, a monument to student-athletes gilding a busy Eugene, Ore. thoroughfare. This past August, the unveiling of the University of Oregon's ...

D.C. Councilmember Says The Nationals Won't Pay For Late-Night Metro Service Because MLB Won't Let Them
As the Washington Nationals march to their first postseason in the post-Expos era, a conflict is brewing over whether fans should have to literally march home after extra-late-for-TV playoff games. Unlike civilized mass transit systems, the D.C. Metro shuts down at midnight and costs $29,500 an hou...

The Mets Gave Chipper Jones This Wack-Ass Painting To Commemorate His Last Series In New York
LeRoy Neiman is dead, but goofily colorful sports paintings didn't die with him. See, look at this one here. It's a gift from the New York Mets to Larry Wayne Jones, Jr. of Atlanta, on the occasion of his impending retirement....

Why Texas State Got A 16th-Place Vote In The AP Poll
For the time being, the Texas State Bobcats are the only team to be undefeated in their FBS history. Sure, they're just 1-0 all-time, joining the WAC this season after 23 years in the I-AA/FCS Southland conference. But that one was a stylish one. It was a 30-13 walloping of Houston, in Houston, that...

Deadspin Classic, Labor Day Edition: The Asshole Boss Digest With The Boss Who Expected An Employee To Clean Up His Poop
Originally published March 8, 2010. For other dispatches from the wide world of horrible bosses, revisit our Asshole Boss Digest series....

"I May Have A Small Dick, But I Have Big Fucking Balls": The Unsentimental Education Of A Harvard Football Player
The story below, excerpted from That Book about Harvard: Surviving the World's Most Famous University, One Embarrassment at a Time, is my memory of events that actually happened. I've changed Coach Mac's name for reasons that will soon become obvious....