ass Page 270 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Gus Malzahn: "I Run The Exact Same Offense I Ran In High School"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The A-State coach thinks UA's problems could be a recruiting opportunity....

<i>New York Post</i> Front Page Kicks Nonsensical Ass
Fenway Park has been in the news a lot of late. There was the touching Field of Dreams-inspired story of the father and son who built their own replica Fenway in the vastness of Oregon. Then the drunken awkwardness of those loveable idiots, Cowboy Up himself and the Yankees' favorite son. And, of c...

"Hell Is Other People's Fantasy Teams": Do Fantasy Sports Alienate Us?
Republished from The Classical. Art by Dmitry Samarov....

Your Football Team Will Win 11, Maybe 12 Games Next Season (Deadspin Classic)
Originally published April 20, 2011....

PGA's Young Golfers Form Parody Boy Band, Sing And Rap Horribly, We All Die A Little Inside
Bubba Watson just won the 2012 Masters. Let's celebrate with this wonderful video (made for charity!), originally published June 14, 2011....

This Is What Happens When You Accuse A Notre Dame Football Player Of Sexually Assaulting You
Last week, the National Catholic Reporter published a lengthy piece on reported sexual assaults at Notre Dame. Its fulcrum is the case involving Lizzy Seeberg, a 19-year-old freshman at nearby St. Mary's College who committed suicide in September 2010, just 10 days after she was allegedly sexually a...

Kari Lehtonen Hits Fan In Face With Puck, Gives Him Towel To Clean Up The Blood That Is Promptly Stolen By Another Fan
Hockey fandom is a dangerous game, folks. If you're not taking pucks to the face then you're being ripped off by your fellow fans after taking a puck to the face. At least this woman had a conscience and eventually gave the towel back. For his troubles, the fan received Lehtonen's stick and a few ...

Inside The Messy World Of Minor-League Show Basketball
You know the Harlem Globetrotters. You probably don't know the Harlem Wizards or the Harlem Ambassadors. They, like the Globetrotters, are barnstorming show-basketball teams, appearing in every corner of this weird nation. Unlike the Globetrotters, they play in tiny gyms. But, as Stefan Fatsis exp...

A Stripper's Guide To The Final Four
During the 2007 Final Four, I traveled to Atlanta with a couple of friends to dance at the Pink Pony. We were surprised to find the local dancers questioning why the dancer manager was urging them to work all weekend, then do it again next weekend during the Masters. By the Sunday before the final, ...

Steve Nash Dished A No-Look Pass While On His Ass Complaining To The Referee
Last night's Suns-Spurs game got off to a unique start, as Steve Nash fell to the floor after being checked by a San Antonio defender, looked up at the referee to complain about the no-call, and simultaneously passed the ball to Marcin Gortat, who attempted a three-pointer. If there's any play t...

Dana Jacobson Has The Sole Appropriate Reaction To The Mike And Mike Roast (Deadspin Classic)
Dana Jacobson is reportedly leaving ESPN. Four years ago, she gave us one of our favorite moments. Originally published Jan. 14, 2008....

Kansas State Has Some Bullshit Excuse For How They Learned About Jamar Samuels's Ineligibility
So I'm going to tell you a story, and you tell me if it sounds made-up, because Kansas State is sticking to it and saying it's definitely not made up....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Yokozuna (Deadspin Classic)
The WWE revealed on Tuesday that it will induct the late Yokozuna (born Rodney Anoa'i) into its Hall of Fame. In 2010, our Dead Wrestler of the Week column paid tribute to the big man. Originally published April 23, 2010....

The Beards Of Summer: Remembering The Days When A Barnstorming Cult Ruled Baseball
Chris Siriano wants to get the hell out of Michigan. Even on a gorgeous fall day in Addison (population 627), with the leaves turning and the sun bright, Siriano—middle-aged, sporting a gray goatee and ball cap—can't stop dreaming about the beach. "I raised my daughter by myself and everybody knew t...

UMass Fans Celebrate NIT Road Win At Drexel With Middle Fingers, Surprise No One
Last night's NIT clash in Philadelphia between UMass and host Drexel turned out to be the proverbial barnburner, with the Minutemen pulling out a 72-70 victory over the Dragons. Fans who made the trip from Amherst had an especially unique way of celebrating UMass taking the lead late in the game....

NIU Football Player Faces Assault Charges For Bulldozing A Band Member
Northern Illinois linebacker Jamaal Bass (No. 6 in the video, No. 1 in our hearts) was suspended for two games after an incident in November, when he ran over a poor Toledo band member. The trouble's not over: an Ohio grand jury has indicted Bass on one count of felonious assault and one count of ...

What Happens When A 35-Year-Old Man Retakes The SAT?
I took the SAT a grand total of one time when I was in dipshit prep school. This was 1993. Like any other kid, I wanted to do well on the test, primarily so that I would NEVER have to take it again, but also because kids at my school were real dicks about their SAT scores. You'd hear through the gra...
![Reports: Jamar Samuels Ineligible Because His Former AAU Coach Gave Him Money Before NCAA Tournament [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17gr927yhw370jpg.jpg)
Reports: Jamar Samuels Ineligible Because His Former AAU Coach Gave Him Money Before NCAA Tournament [UPDATE]
The usually angry Frank Martin was reduced to tears this afternoon following his team's loss without Jamar Samuels. According to Topeka-based writer Austin Meek, Martin was without Samuels because his former AAU coach and DC Assault founder, Curtis Malone, sent him money before the NCAA tournament....

Kansas State's Jamar Samuels Is Out Today For "An Eligibility Concern"
So says Newsday's Neil Best via twitter. Syracuse.com also chimes in:...

The Southern Miss Band Chanted "Where's Your Green Card?" At Kansas State's Angel Rodriguez
Kansas State guard Angel Rodriguez was born in Puerto Rico, but don't tell the Southern Miss band that. (Maybe they don't know Puerto Rico is in the United States either, anyway.) Here's what it sounded like on the court late in the first half of their matchup today in Pittsburgh. [TruTV]...