ass Page 274 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Evening: Thanks To ESPN, Matt Hasselbeck's Hair Has Grown Back
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 19, the day your oxygen tank totally took away from our enjoyment of classical music. H/T to Pony_Express for the screen grab. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Chinese Basketball Association Doesn't Want Kobe Bryant To Play Next Season, Either
One nice, unproductive distraction from the lockout has been to speculate about which NBA players will spend the lockout playing in China, Turkey, and, somehow, England. But now the Chinese Basketball Association has gone and deprived us even of that pleasure, announcing today that it would not perm...

Alabama Sorority Girl Rap Is One Of Those Videos That Thinks It Is A Parody But Is Actually Just Really Embarrassing
The Alabama Sorority Girl rap is not the Andover rap, folks. It's not fraught with a damn thing. There's half a level of irony at play here, tops....

A Gaggle Of Clever Sportswriters Is Starting A Long-Form Web Concern
The Classical bills itself as "a running, wide-ranging conversation between us and our readers about baseball, basketball, soccer, football and fighting, and about things that aren't sports, too." It'll have long features and blogs, modeling itself after The Awl....

What The Hell? Soccer Club Sacrifies Actual Lamb On The Pitch Before Match (SFW)
This is Turkish side Sivasspor posing with a restrained lamb before their friendly with FK Rad Belgrade. The camera cuts away, something happens, and the Sivasspor players are covering themselves with fresh lamb's blood for luck. It worked. The Serbs were scared shitless, and the Turks won 4-1. I'...

Massachusetts-Area Idiots Fly Jolly Roger Atop Tiny Fishing Vessel, Try And Fail To Rob Sailboat While Owner Sleeps
Piracy is real, y'all. East Africa? Hornet's nest. Caribbean? Same deal. But the North Shore of Boston might be the worst of the bunch. Here are the obnoxious news ledes mocking this terribly serious crime:...

If Albert DeSalvo Wasn't The Boston Strangler, Who Was? Bill James Investigates
During the years 1962-64, 13 women in the Boston area were molested and then strangled by an assailant who came to be known as the Boston Strangler. In 1965, Albert DeSalvo, a convicted sex offender and patient at a local mental institute, began telling people he committed the murders. With the help...

On Punters, Collective Bargaining, And Fuckwits: The Nate Jackson-Chris Kluwe Correspondence
A lively debate between a former Broncos tight end and a current Vikings punter over who has the right to call Peyton Manning a "douchebag" (and about other stuff, too). Nate Jackson's story | Chris Kluwe's response...

Chris Kluwe Responds: Can I Kick It? (Yes, I Can)
Dear Nate Jackson,...

Dear Chris Kluwe: When We Want The Punter's Opinion, We'll Ask For It (We Won't)
Chris Kluwe should know better....

The Graceful, Oversized Legacy of Yao Ming
How long was Yao Ming going to last? That was the question about the seven-foot-six center long before he broke his foot for the first time in the NBA. When Yao joined the league nine summers ago, picked first overall in the 2002 draft by the Houston Rockets, he was the man who would bring the entir...

Today In Great Ledes
"Sports historians will look back on what happened at ESPN's ESPY awards the other night and pinpoint it as the broadcast that signaled the rise of soccer and the death of football." [Chicago Tribune]...

Deadspin Classic: And Now A Selection From Tim McCarver's <em>Great American Songbook</em>, Remixed
Tim McCarver spent the evening talking on your television. Now let him sing you to sleep. Originally published Nov. 13, 2009....

Derek Jeter, Josh Hamilton, The Dodgers And Cliff Lee All Had Shining Moments Yesterday
Your morning roundup for July 10, the day it pays to be wary of people with wide faces....

Guys Who Find Casey Anthony Attractive Gross Linda Cohn Out
In the time since the Casey Anthony verdict was announced, Michelle Beadle had SportsCenter's Linda Cohn on her Sportsnation podcast. Sports. Sports. Sports. Cohn needed to get something about an unidentified New York sportstalk-radio show THAT WASN'T ESPN off her chest:...

Fun With Boat Names: Suggestive Sexy-Time Edition
Tipster Kishore P. was kind enough to share a photograph taken of this boat, with likely Florida roots, as she was driving along I-90 east between the Lee and Westfield, Mass. exits last weekend....

Deadspin Classic: A Balls Deep Guide To The Fourth Of July
Happy Fourth of July. Since there's not gonna be any football for a long time, how about a Fourth of July Jamboroo from the Balls Deep vault?...

Finnish Friends Win The World Wife-Carrying Championships For Third Consecutive Year
With Kristiina Haapanen's legs wrapped around his head as an estimated 6,500 fans looked on, Taisto Miettinen sprinted 276 yards, jumped a few hurdles and navigated a "water pool" in Sonkajärvi, Finland in about a minute to defeat 46 other couples at the annual Wife-Carrying World Championships....

Abandon Hope: Bill Clinton Teams Up With A Health-Insurance Company To Take Some Old Dead Guy's Name Off A Golf Tournament
The Bob Hope Classic, which has been played under that name in California since 1965, is no more. Starting in January 2012, the event will be the Humana Challenge, named for Joey Humana, a beloved comedian (and devoted golfer) who entertained American troops from World War II through the first Gulf ...

Alas, Mardy Fish: American Tennis Rots From The Head Down
There was a single American remaining in the quarterfinals at Wimbledon this year, and his name was Mardy Fish. His is never a name that inspires confidence or even optimism in tennis fans in the United States, most of whom are still lamenting the retirement of Pete Sampras a decade ago. Fish lost t...