ass Page 277 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Finnish Friends Win The World Wife-Carrying Championships For Third Consecutive Year
With Kristiina Haapanen's legs wrapped around his head as an estimated 6,500 fans looked on, Taisto Miettinen sprinted 276 yards, jumped a few hurdles and navigated a "water pool" in Sonkajärvi, Finland in about a minute to defeat 46 other couples at the annual Wife-Carrying World Championships....

Abandon Hope: Bill Clinton Teams Up With A Health-Insurance Company To Take Some Old Dead Guy's Name Off A Golf Tournament
The Bob Hope Classic, which has been played under that name in California since 1965, is no more. Starting in January 2012, the event will be the Humana Challenge, named for Joey Humana, a beloved comedian (and devoted golfer) who entertained American troops from World War II through the first Gulf ...

Alas, Mardy Fish: American Tennis Rots From The Head Down
There was a single American remaining in the quarterfinals at Wimbledon this year, and his name was Mardy Fish. His is never a name that inspires confidence or even optimism in tennis fans in the United States, most of whom are still lamenting the retirement of Pete Sampras a decade ago. Fish lost t...

Intel Executive Wonders Moronically "What Intel Can Learn from Miami Heat's Recent Loss"
Let's watch a bunch of Intel employees draw a lot of silly corporate lessons from the failure of one really good basketball team to beat another really good basketball, shall we? First, here's an executive's blog post, written on the company's internal site and passed along by a tipster. We've left ...

Deadspin Classic: Gay Softball's "Homo Quota"
With the gay marriage bill being passed in New York, and Pride celebrations taking place across the country, we revisit the question still vexing the world of gay softball: how many straight players are too many?...

American Patriot Tim Howard Thinks Soccer Ceremonies In America Should Be Conducted In American English
Your morning roundup for June 26, a day after a man who lost his arm to a rocket in Afghanistan caught a foul ball....

Ritually Edgy T-Shirts Prompt Ritual Coverage Of Ritually Outraged Criticism
The Associated Press reports that the dry-goods sales-and-marketing company Nike has provoked a reaction by selling t-shirts designed to provoke a reaction. The shirts include "the phrases 'Dope,' 'Get High' and 'Ride Pipe,'" the AP reports....

Here's The Police Report For The Fiery Crash That Killed <em>Jackass</em> Star Ryan Dunn
Ryan Dunn appeared in all of the Jackass movies and may best be remembered for sticking a Hot Wheels car up his ass. He died early around 2:30 a.m. on Monday in Pennsylvania in a horrific crash that "fully engulfed" his 2007 Porsche 911 GT3 in flames. Dunn was likely speeding, according to the repor...

Someone Compiled A Top 10 List Of Racist And/Or Xenophobic Moments In Wrestling
Among the angles pursued in this collection of rasslin' segments are slave master, pigs-feet eater, physically kicking Mexicans back across the border, proper roles in life for those with nappy hair and Asian language mockery, sometimes with subtlety, sometimes without. Yep, that about sums it up....

Watch Eric Hassli's MLS Goal Of The Year
One might wonder, the first time one sees hockey or soccer, why the players don't bank goals in off the post at all times—the goalies can never save them. Here's one of the prettiest examples you'll ever see, from Eric Hassli of the Vancouver Whitecaps. From outside the penalty box, on a quick rec...

Joba Will Be Neithuh Startuh Nor Relievuh Fuh A While
Everybody's favorite so-so Yankee swingman, Joba Chamberlain, was diagnosed today with a torn elbow ligament that will likely require Tommy John surgery....

Austrian Tennis Player Gets Lifetime Ban For Match-Fixing, Being A Huge Dick
Daniel "Crazy Dani" Köllerer has been banned from tennis for life and fined $100,000 by the ATP. Harsh. What'd he do?...

The Greatest Baseball Highlight Ever Happened 20 Years Ago Tonight
The video's been played and replayed so many times, it almost no longer matters who and where and how. It's a dude running through a fence....

One More Thing LeBron and Drake Have In Common: Master Thespianism
Or the ability to hit the ground really quickly. You decide....

Revisiting The Great LeBron James Cocksucker Debate
here's a decent chance that at some point in the past 24 hours — perhaps when he did a little shimmy on the floor after drawing a late offensive foul, or when he began yapping demonstratively at the Less Than Zero extras in the stands, or when he passive-aggressively referred to Derrick Rose as "MVP...

Today In "You Don't Fucking Say"
Headline on a story that checked in at 1,655 words and required the contributions of 10 Associated Press reporters: "Drinking linked to problems in the ballpark stands." [AP]...

Ric Flair's WOOlogy For Randy Savage
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Nature Boy reminisces about Wrestlemania, and launches the Macho Man's candidacy for the...

Giants Fans, Don't Insult The Butt Of Your Best Homegrown Player Since Marvin Benard
Your morning roundup for May 21, the day we robbed the Knights of Columbus and a tattoo parlor. H/T E. Gunther for the screencap....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Miss Elizabeth (Deadspin Classic)
"Macho Man" Randy Savage was killed today in a car accident. Last year, our pro wrestling correspondent paid tribute to Savage's manager and first wife, Miss Elizabeth. She died in 2003 of an overdose at the home of her boyfriend, Lex Luger....

Deadspin Classic: Dick Ebersol Is The Biggest Failure Of Them All
In the wake of Dick Ebersol's messy resignation from NBC Sports, we revisit the writings of a former NBC employee, who remembers Ebersol's failures being as legendary as his accomplishments....