ass Page 278 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's An Actual Sport That Requires Nothing More Than Holding A Beer
No, really. That's it. And it's called Masskrugstemmen. "The game is far more popular in Germany, where it is played in beer halls and outdoor festivals. Contestants line up, extend one arm parallel to the ground, grip a one-liter beer, and try not to spill. Drop any brew, and you're eliminated." [...

When The Flag Is Up, You May As Well Shoot For YouTube
Heerenveen midfielder Oussama Assaidi was offside, and he knew he was offside, so why not flick it home with a little flair? No goal, but a mess of style points....

Shaq Listed "Binnochulars" Under "Special Skills" In His Miami Police Application
The Miami New Times has taken on the admirable pursuit of making every single word that Shaquille O'Neal has ever typed or written available to the public. Through their work, we'd previously learned of Shaq's infidelity, his infidelity, and also his infidelity....

Chris Kluwe And Nate Jackson Have Made Up
In August, former Broncos tight end Nate Jackson questioned in this space whether Vikings punter Chris Kluwe had the right to call Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Logan Mankins, and Vincent Jackson "douchebags."...

Deadspin Classic: Meet The Mets' Sad Fan
The New York Mets are 13.5 games out of first in the NL East, and potential owner David Einhorn has gone the traditional route and quit on the club. It is, as usual, a bad time to be a sad Mets fan. With that in mind, we look back at the saddest of the sad Mets fans: Seth Fleischauer, the self-procl...

Matt Cassel's Burden Is Heavier Than Anyone Imagined
Your morning roundup for Sept. 2, the day after we didn't have any change to toss into Bruce Springsteen's guitar case. Photo courtesy @IndianPacker, via @Sportsfeeder1. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Kansas State's EcoKat Mascot Will Reduce Energy Usage And Humiliate The School
The Kansas State administration may need a refresher in the 2011 version of "braggin' rights." The school is taking on rival Kansas in something called the Take Charge! Challenge, which aims to increase recycling and conservation efforts at the two institutions....

Nice Backpack, Rookie
Your morning roundup for Aug. 29, the day we learned stale beer works wonders as a wood polish. Photo of Padres rookie Anthony Bass via Big League Stew. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Johan Santana Wants To Seal The Testimony In His Ongoing Sexual Assault Lawsuit
New York Mets pitcher Johan Santana—forgive us if you didn't need that detail, but Santana hasn't pitched since the middle of last season—was accused last year of sexual assault on a golf course in October 2009. The woman said Santana approached her and raped her, as she was pleading with him to sto...

School Of Fight: Learning To Brawl With The Hockey Goons Of Tomorrow (Deadspin Classic)
Last week, Glenn Stout, editor of Houghton Mifflin's Best American Sports Writing series, announced the lineup for the 2011 edition of the book. Among the stories was Jake Bogoch's dispatch from a notorious hockey fight camp for kids, where our writer took a teenager's punch to the kidneys and found...

Presenting Slo-Mo Video Of A Little League Player Taking A Baseball To The Face
Your morning roundup for Aug. 20, the ninth day that Delonte West will wake up hoping Home Depot calls. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. (Video from California's 11-0 win over Rhode Island H/T Shaun B). ...

This Evening: Thanks To ESPN, Matt Hasselbeck's Hair Has Grown Back
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 19, the day your oxygen tank totally took away from our enjoyment of classical music. H/T to Pony_Express for the screen grab. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Chinese Basketball Association Doesn't Want Kobe Bryant To Play Next Season, Either
One nice, unproductive distraction from the lockout has been to speculate about which NBA players will spend the lockout playing in China, Turkey, and, somehow, England. But now the Chinese Basketball Association has gone and deprived us even of that pleasure, announcing today that it would not perm...

Alabama Sorority Girl Rap Is One Of Those Videos That Thinks It Is A Parody But Is Actually Just Really Embarrassing
The Alabama Sorority Girl rap is not the Andover rap, folks. It's not fraught with a damn thing. There's half a level of irony at play here, tops....

A Gaggle Of Clever Sportswriters Is Starting A Long-Form Web Concern
The Classical bills itself as "a running, wide-ranging conversation between us and our readers about baseball, basketball, soccer, football and fighting, and about things that aren't sports, too." It'll have long features and blogs, modeling itself after The Awl....

What The Hell? Soccer Club Sacrifies Actual Lamb On The Pitch Before Match (SFW)
This is Turkish side Sivasspor posing with a restrained lamb before their friendly with FK Rad Belgrade. The camera cuts away, something happens, and the Sivasspor players are covering themselves with fresh lamb's blood for luck. It worked. The Serbs were scared shitless, and the Turks won 4-1. I'...

Massachusetts-Area Idiots Fly Jolly Roger Atop Tiny Fishing Vessel, Try And Fail To Rob Sailboat While Owner Sleeps
Piracy is real, y'all. East Africa? Hornet's nest. Caribbean? Same deal. But the North Shore of Boston might be the worst of the bunch. Here are the obnoxious news ledes mocking this terribly serious crime:...

If Albert DeSalvo Wasn't The Boston Strangler, Who Was? Bill James Investigates
During the years 1962-64, 13 women in the Boston area were molested and then strangled by an assailant who came to be known as the Boston Strangler. In 1965, Albert DeSalvo, a convicted sex offender and patient at a local mental institute, began telling people he committed the murders. With the help...

On Punters, Collective Bargaining, And Fuckwits: The Nate Jackson-Chris Kluwe Correspondence
A lively debate between a former Broncos tight end and a current Vikings punter over who has the right to call Peyton Manning a "douchebag" (and about other stuff, too). Nate Jackson's story | Chris Kluwe's response...

Chris Kluwe Responds: Can I Kick It? (Yes, I Can)
Dear Nate Jackson,...