ass Page 279 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Driver Mows Down Dozens Of Bicyclists During Rally In Brazil
Critical Mass is an event that brings bike enthusiasts together every month in hundreds of cities around the world to advocate for sustainable transportation. The bikers meander through streets and sometimes block traffic, which can tick off drivers. In Puerto Alegre, Brazil on Friday night, motor...
Wrigley Field Is Looking For A New PA Announcer, Inquire Within
Have you ever wanted to announce the lineup of a historically mediocre baseball team? Stepping up to the plate, your catcher, number 55, KOYIE HILL!...
This Was The Day Snow Tits Evolved Into Telestrator Tits
Halfway through the second period of tonight's Detroit Red Wings/Dallas Stars game, booth talk apparently turned to penalty-box shoulder pads. The end result: Telestrator Breastuses on what appears to be Mike Ribeiro of the Stars. (H/T Ryan C.)...
Wisconsin Beats Michigan With A Banked-In Three-Pointer At The Buzzer
Wisconsin's Josh Gasser beat Michigan with this shot last night, and probably ended their chances at an at-large bid to the dance, too. The look on the Wolverines' faces after the shot says it all: there really is no more demoralizing ending to a basketball game, if you're not on the side that chu...
Lady Puts Hidden Camera On Her Ass, "Busts" People And Jesus Scoping It
The introduction of "Ass Cam" poses the question of whether "you've ever wondered what goes on behind your back." From there, you can decide whether the two asscamtrepreneurs accurately predicted that they "look dumb :D"...
At Denny's, They Will Clean Your Table While You Continue Brawling (NSFW) (UPDATED)
UPDATE: Well, the original video was taken down overnight for YouTube service-terms violations. Thankfully, someone else was taping. And double thankfully, syrup appears to be involved in the impetus. (H/T Dylan for the extended remix version.)...
Cassy Herkelman Is The Bigger Person In The 112-Pound Weight Class
This week, a God-fearin' home-schooled young man named Joel Northrup refused to face Cassy Herkelman in the ring because his faith doesn't allow men wrasslin' ladies. In a statement issued by his host school (because public high school athletic departments in Iowa have public relations experts?), No...
Remembering The Time Jay Mariotti Got Hazed In The Reds Clubhouse
With Jay Mariotti doing the stations of the cross now, let's take a look back at a demoralizing moment from early in his career. A reader called our attention to the following excerpt from Gene Wojciechowski's 1990 book, Pond Scum and Vultures: America's Sportswriters Talk About Their Glamorous Prof...
Albert Haynesworth Accused Of Sexual Assault
Haynesworth, who was charged with assault in a road rage incident on Feb. 2, has been accused of sexually assaulting a waitress at the W Hotel last weekend. Haynesworth's agent says there is "no truth to these allegations." [WRC-4]...
Now Even Soccer Goalies Are Making Impressive Trick Shot Videos
Lassi Hurskainen, the junior goalkeeper at D-I UNC-Ashville, made a nice highlight video. You may remember him as the Finnish keeper who scored on an 80-yard free kick last summer....
Beer Commercials' Real Target Audience
Tom Scocca explains that all-male, groin-punch-infested beer ads are designed not for adults but teenage boys. Apparently, boys go to great lengths to procure beer. Who knew? But Scocca, like us all, still can't comprehend the Pepsi Max spots. [Slate]...
NHL Hall-Of-Famer Gets A Little Handsy
Paul Coffey misses the camaraderie of the NHL. We really hope that's the explanation for this....
Guns N' Peas Is Where The Trajectory Of Man Began Its Steady Decline
So the Black Eyed Peas covered "Sweet Child O Mine" at the Super Bowl last night, with Slash helping out on guitar. First of all, FUCK YOU SLASH. You just spent the last bit of goodwill you earned from NOT being Axl. Secondly, the journey to our eventual self-extinction has begun....
There Were Three Fights In The First Four Seconds Of An NHL Game Tonight
The last time Dallas Stars visited the Boston Bruins, the teams totaled 175 penalty minutes. Bad blood continued tonight. A fight in the first second. A fight in the second second. And, a fight in the fourth second....
Some Chickenshit SEC School Complained About Alabama's Fax-Cam Girls
An unnamed SEC school filed a complaint with the conference over the girls Bama was using to retrieve faxes and post names on Signing Day. Mike Slive chided Alabama's AD. Oh, this gets the SEC to act swiftly. [AP]...
11 Sumo Wrestlers Involved In (Text-Only) Text Message Controversy
Wrestlers and stablemasters in the Japan Sumo Association (JSA) have long been suspected of match-fixing, but now there might be some textual messages to prove it. Let's hope this doesn't all trace back to a stubby-finger typo....
Everything About The Pro Bowl Was Half-Assed
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Cowboys QB Jon Kitna Doesn't Think You're "A Real Man" If You're Totally Into Laptop Porn
So, the XXX Church, a non-profit that seeks "to help people of all ages who are being assaulted by pornography," has apparently renamed Feb. 6 "Porn Sunday."...
O.J. Mayo Blames Gas Station Energy Drink For Positive Drug Test
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Here's Video Of The Time Brian Wilson Made Lopez Tonight Watchable For Nine Minutes
Brian Wilson, San Francisco Giants closer and medium through which people can communicate with The Machine, went on George Lopez's television show the other night. He was dressed like a boat captain. Likes: Old Spice and Red Lobster. Dislikes: Water....