ass Page 279 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Relive Zenyatta's Breathtaking Run
It is with a heavy sigh of relief that we can report Zenyatta did not have to be euthanized following her run in the Breeder's Cup Classic. She finished 2nd, but it was one of the greatest finishes we've ever seen....
Your College Football Night Games Open Thread
Two Top-20 matchups: Arkansas hopes to bring more sororitears to South Carolina and Arizona goes to Stanford. Other noteworthy contests: Oklahoma at Texas A&M, Mizzou at Texas Tech, Louisiana-Lafayette at Mississippi....
Tottenham’s Benoit Assou-Ekotto Rips Into "Dirty Prostitute Shagger" Rooney
Tottenham Hotspur defender Benoit Assou-Ekotto, best known for his laid-back, "couldn't give a f**k, tbh" approach to professional football, has laid into his Premier League peers, singling Wayne Rooney out for special attention as a "dirty prostitute shagger."...
Brad Richards Shot A Hole In The Glass Last Night
This slap shot by the Stars' Brad Richards was different than your everyday slap shot in that it BROKE CLEAR THROUGH THE FREAKING GLASS. [Sportress of Blogitude]...
The Most Entertaining Meltdown By A High School Football Color Guy In History
2010_1022_Abington_vs_Rockland_Touchdown_Nullified from Norm Caseley on Vimeo....
The Most Entertaining Meltdown By A College Football Color Guy In History
Spencer Hall asks us to keep Florida Atlantic color commentator Dave Lamont's spazgasm in perspective: "After all, it's not every day you challenge an entire pressbox to a fight in the middle of a game." Noted.[SBNATION]...
Cablevision Might Get The World Series After All
The FCC might intervene in the Fox-Cablevision dispute as early as today, so there is hope for you yet Cablevision Subscribers Who Have Not Yet Just Bought A $5 Antenna. [@bizballmaury]...
Referees Get Punished For Promoting Breast-Cancer Awareness With Pink Whistles
Here's to you, Washington Officials Association, for standing up to 140 high-school-football referees who dared use pink whistles for breast-cancer awareness the other night without first getting your permission....
This Is What Should Happen Whenever You Play A Sports Video Game
We've all been there: Playing Bulls versus Blazers on SNES, Shasta'd out of your mind, Kevin Duckworth at the line. He misses. You lose. Wouldn't you like a chance to see Duckworth—the real Duckworth—atone?...
The Messiah College Lady's Soccer Team Will Not Tolerate Peeping Toms
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
John Salley Story Corner: All Rub, No Tug From The Hotel Masseuse
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: when massages go technically right....
Crazy Lady Elisabeth Hasselbeck Has Predictably Crazy Theory About Our Brett Favre Story
Barry mentioned this earlier, but here's video of Elisabeth Hasselbeck putting on her tin-foil hat and saying it's fishy that the Brett Favre story broke the week Favre was playing the Jets. It's the dumbest conspiracy theory Favre's junk has caused....
Mike Ribeiro Arrested For Public Intoxication, May Try To Blame Bad Sushi
Good sushi restaurants are about as foreign to the Sun Belt as hockey, but that's where the Stars center and his party got into an altercation last night. Ribeiro and his wife were arrested, but made bail early this morning. [Morning News]...
Barcelona's Passing Wizardry Makes The Lakers Look Foolish
The Lakers played an exhibition against Barcelona yesterday—and lost—and with plays like this, it's easy to see why. That's some Harlem Globetrotters stuff right there on the NBA champs. [Slam]...
Last Night's Winner: The Reporter Who Asked Brett Favre About His Wang
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Brian Costello of the New York Post. If Brett Favre furnished us with his cock, then Costello rounded things out with an enormous set of balls....
When Preseason Games Of Grab-Ass Go Wrong
Last night's Raptors-Suns game featured this delightful sequence in which Reggie Evans fouled Grant Hill, which led to the two engaging in a spirited round of ironic ass-slappery. Both players were ejected. Via Skeets....
Teammate: Wayne Rooney Is "Working Class" And "Vulgar"
While most of us can't wait for this international break to be over, Man United's Federico Macheda will be hoping time goes really slowly while he's away with Italy's U21 squad, after making an "ill-advised" comment about his willy-swinging teammate Wayne Rooney....
Field Trip: Simmons And Gladwell At The New Yorker Festival, Falling In And Out Of Love
Ever wondered how the chummy love-fest email exchanges between Malcolm Gladwell and Bill Simmons translate when the two meet face-to-face? Well, it's kind of like when a "certain kind of person" meets another "certain kind of person." I'll explain....
Triple H Bangs On Doors To Get Votes For Mother-In-Law Linda McMahon
Well, if Linda McMahon's Facebook page is to be believed, she's unleashing a practitioner of the "Inverted Indian deathlock" on the voters of Fairfield, Ct. this morning....
Jags Receiver Gets Caught In Action Movie After Armed Intruder Busts In
Kassim Osgood and a ladyfriend were hanging out, when her ex-boyfriend showed up with a gun. Both were pistol-whipped, but are okay. Then, there's this: "The woman targeted him with her laser sight before both shot at each other and missed." [Times-Union]...