ass Page 282 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Deadspin Classic: Watch Artie Lange Crap All Over Joe Buck's First Show
The Fourth of July is all about bright, nighttime explosions, and today we give you Artie Lange exploding all over the debut of Joe Buck's short-lived show, The Nepotism and Dick Joke Variety Hour....

Deadspin Classic: A Children's Treasury Of Men Getting Blasted In The Face With Champagne
We at Deadspin research spent a solid day compiling these photos, and hardly any of you stopped to admire our work the first time around. So you know what? Here they are again, like a cold blast of liquid to the face....

Deadspin Classic: A Comprehensive Ranking Of The Products Inside A Good Humor Truck
I scream! You scream! We all scream for profane and comprehensive reviews of chilled desserts! Sample: "Get fucked, Dippin Dots."...

Deadspin Classic: Our Visit To The Hot Dog Eating Championships
Three years ago, the former proprietor hereabouts immersed himself in the world of moist sausage and watched as a proud America reclaimed what is rightfully hers: the world championship for cramming hot dogs in one's distended mouth....

Deadspin Classic: Your Fourth Of July Throwgasm Breakdown
Happy Fourth of July. Before you do your part and blow up a small portion of the country you love, travel back in time to the magical summer of 2008 with Drew's guide to the best and worst aspects of July 4th....

Deadspin Classic: He ... Could ... Go ... All ... The ... Way!
There's no earthly reason to run this again today, except that it involves one thing America will be full of this weekend: a large man in a tropical shirt. And it remains funny as hell. You will always be with us, leather....

Deadspin Classic: There's More Than One Way To Skin A Softball Player
Chances are you'll be playing some softball this weekend. Back in 2007, Leitch stumbled upon the finest college softball media guide the world has ever known....

Deadspin Classic: How To Tap A Fucking Keg
For Spring Break, The Awl contributor Abe Sauer taught you how to get at that delicious, delicious beer. Well, you're not a college student now; you're a man, and you have friends and family to keep hydrated this holiday weekend....

Deadspin Classic: Madness, Glory, And The Self-Correcting Aneurysm
Four years ago, in the World Cup final, France's Zinedine Zidane defended the honor of his whore sister and ended his career in an unimaginably bizarre fashion. Afterward, David Hirshey bid a sad adieu....

The Dead Wrestler Of The Week Archive
All your favorite Dead Wrestler of the Week columns, in one handy location. Ooooooooh, what a rush!!!...

Deadspin Classic: Our Field Trip To <em>Quite Frankly</em>
Stephen A. Smith and the Philadelphia Inquirer recently parted ways for a second time. Let's remember the good ol' days, when Stephen A. was an emphatic, multi-platform media nuisance, and Will Leitch was just another guy in his studio audience....

Basketball Players In Asia Are Punching Each Other Again
Here's Mark "Macmac" Cardona of the Talk 'N Text Tropang Texters punching former Cincinnati Bearcat Ronald Allen of the Dongguan Leopards. Described in Pacific Rims as "a pitbull," Macmac doesn't hesitate taking on the taller American. Two makes a trend, right? [PBA-Online]...

Deadspin I-Team: Is This Cole Hamels's Butt?
A routine Jamie Moyer interview took a turn toward Sipowicz Territory when a mysterious nude Phillie bared most in the background. But is it Cole Hamels? The Fightins seems to think so. Deadspin I-Team: Assemble! More evidence after the jump....

Deadspin Classic: Heckling Stephen A. Without Mercy
The NBA Draft is tonight, and one's mind casts back to its finer moments: the dog-eared envelope; the fire engine worn by Jalen Rose; and of course the night in 2006 that Stephen A. Smith was heckled and heckled and heckled....

Deadspin Classic: Manute Bol, Always And Forever, Larger Than Life
Manute Bol died today at 47. In 2006, Rick Chandler caught up with him as he worked to bring relief to his native Sudan. "How can I stay in America and live a good life," Bol asked, "when my people are suffering?"...

Vince Young Lead Suspect In Dallas Strip Club Assault
"Tennessee Titans quarterback Vince Young is the prime suspect in a Saturday night assault at a Dallas strip club that left an individual with bodily injury, an official with the Dallas Police Department said Sunday." [CBS Dallas via SecondStringFullback]...

ESPN Gives Clint Dempsey Unfortunate Nickname
So that was fun, huh? The U.S. played to a draw today thanks in large part to Robert Green's colossal cock-up. Green is expected to be Temple of Doom'd by Capello later this evening. Next up: Slovenia, lower TV ratings....

Asshole Kids Try Their Best To Ruin Blackhawks Victory Parade
Reader Paul attended today's Blackhawks victory parade in downtown Chicago. Instead of seeing Patrick Kane get nice and toasty, he saw asshole teenagers doing what asshole teenagers do best: be asshole teenagers. His story, a video, and more photos after the jump....

Deadspin Classic: The Tiny Plastic Horn That Will Ruin The World Cup
That terrible sound you'll be hearing over the next few weeks is the vuvuzela, which Dash described last year as "South Africa's answer to the Thunderstick." His story is below....

Police Investigate Possible Sexual Assault At Green Bay Packers Party (UPDATE)
Seven Green Bay Packers were found at a rented condo where two women told police they were assaulted on Saturday morning. Six of the players were cleared, but one unnamed player is still under investigation....