ass Page 288 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: "Yeah, That's It. Now Wash His Chest."
Welcome to Asshole Coach Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane coaches you ever had. Email me your asshole coach story here. Off we go....
Ladies And Gentlemen, Allow Me To Present Your UFL Champions, The Las Vegas Locomotives
The Jim Fassel-coached Las Vegas Locomotives beat the Florida Tuskers 20-17 in overtime in front of 14,801 fans to claim the first UFL championship. And what a way to cap off a thrilling, pressure-packed UFL season. [Las Vegas Sun]...
A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Coach Will Watch You Shower Now
Welcome to Asshole Coach Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane coaches you ever had. Email me your asshole coach story here. Off we go....
Full Moon Over Chicago
Considering the flood of emails, you people are all about Devin Hester's ass. I'm not here to judge, so we present it in all its glory after the jump....
Blame Drew: ASU Baseball Coach Pat Murphy Resigns
Pat Murphy announced his resignation today, thus freeing up some time to roam the earth, seek out Drew and beat him like a redheaded stepchild, if he were the sort of man to do such a thing. [ASU Sun Devils]...
Jay Mariotti Tossed From Chicago Bar After Scuffle With Patron Over Cell Phone Pic?
We're waiting for further confirmation on this story, but according to multiple sources, Jay Mariotti was tossed from Chicago'sUnderground Night Club(fixed) last night after he went ballistic on a guy who snapped a picture of him. Haters smell blood....
A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: “Fifty Hot Ones Comin’ At Ya!”
Welcome to Asshole Coach Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane coaches you ever had. Email me your asshole coach story here. Off we go....
Sammy Sosa Doesn't See Why People Are So Terrified By His Appearance
The formerly dark-skinned Sosa spoke out about his ghostly new look and he would like to let everyone know that he's not dying or anything: "It's a bleaching cream," he said. You don't say....
A-HOLE FAN DIGEST: The Muhammad Ali Autographing Incident
Earlier today, we published a story from an anonymous reader claiming that ASU baseball coach Pat Murphy accosted him at a charity event. Here's how the story ended up being complete bullshit....
Baseball's Free Agency System Is Seriously, Seriously Screwed Up
It's hot stove season, and the annual release of Elias' free agent rankings is upon us. It speaks to the volume of the CBA's absurdities that we rarely appreciate just how awful this system is....
Marat Safin Says Agassi Is "Stupid", Should "Shut Up"
Tennis-playing dude Marat Safin isn't exactly broken up over revelations that fellow competitor Andre Agassi was addicted to crank. If he feels so bad about it now, Safin says, then why not give back all that money he didn't win?...
“My Coach Broke My Collarbone.” Your First Edition Of A-HOLE COACH DIGEST
I've been thinking about terrible coaches lately. Coaches that are not merely incompetent, but also paranoid, megalomaniacal, and prickish. Coaches that are praised for having such qualities, particularly at the college and high school levels....
Area Satirical Newspaper Joins Forces With Puppet-Based Humor Channel
In a move I can only pray will cut Jeff Dunham-related programming down to a more manageable 23 hours a day, The Onion and Comedy Central will be doing a sports show together....
Isiah Thomas Continues His Formula For Success
Florida International begins its march to the upper echelon of D-I basketball by playing its first exhibition game under their new head coach....and losing to an NAIA school coached by Rollie Massimino. Exactly as planned. [AP/SB/RTC]...
It Never Gets Old
So they spent more money than anyone else. So they didn't have to wait as long as anyone else. Ask us fans if it feels any less amazing. It doesn't....
Who Cares About The Meth Stuff, Agassi Wore A Wig?
Another bombshell from his biography: Agassi wore a wig, which fell apart in the shower the night before his first Grand Slam final. He prayed "not for victory, but that my hairpiece would not fall off." So there's that. [BBC]...
Andre Agassi, Tweaker
In his forthcoming autobiography, which you no longer need to purchase because you know the only interesting part, Agassi admits he regularly took crystal meth. But who didn't do drugs and hook up with Brooke Shields in the '90s? [People]...
From D1 To X-Rated?
Chase Mejia was set to play WR at Kansas State, but he may have found a career more his style. I think you can guess which career from the (very cropped) photo....
The One Where Lee Corso Takes A Massive Dump
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....
The Filipino Ron Artest Suspended One Year For Slugging Fan
Wynne "Tiny" Arboleda of the Philippine Basketball Association has been suspended for the entire 2009-10 season after he went all Daniel Plainview on a fan during a game. At least he'll have more time to work on his rap album....