ass Page 289 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Night's Winner: Massholes
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Curt Schilling's boy toy, Scott Brown, who posthumously kicked Ted Kennedy's health care loving butt. This is exactly like the American Revolution, but more annoying....
Did Venus Go Commando?
The most pressing question of our time is, naturally, was Venus Williams wearing underwear at the Australian Open yesterday? We dig deep, breaking down the footage, to give you a definitive answer....
Moon of Venus: It Appears One Williams Sister Forgot To Wear Her Bloomers
This just in from a reader named Luke who's watching the Australian Open highlights on ESPN2: Thong? No unders? Huh? Just on espn2 moments ago.... Raw hiney, after the jump. (NSFWish?)...
Last Night's Winner: Non-Number One Teams
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Kentucky, who will soon be number one thanks to Kansas State, who took care of the last number one. Everyone comes out ahead! (Except Texas.)...
A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Mexican Bicycle Chain Edition!
Welcome to Asshole Coach Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane coaches you ever had. Email me your asshole coach story here....
Only Starbury Can Go To China
The 32-year-old Stephon Marbury just a signed a contract with Shanxi Club of the Chinese Basketball Association. Communism has officially lost. [Reuters/NY Post/FanHouse]...
Mark Ingram, Mateen Cleaves, The Heisman And A Baby Walk Into A Bar...
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Mediocre Daytime Host And Mediocre-QB-Turned-Mediocre-Analyst Switch Jobs
Tim Hasselbeck and his infinitely-more-famous wife will swap places on Tuesday, meaning he'll host The View while Elisabeth fills in on NFL Live. Though their respective performances will be necessarily uninformed, you might not notice a difference. [AP]...
Division III Coach Also Accused Of Going Crazy On Players
It isn't just coaches in the pressure packed world of D-I football who occasionally fly off the handle and maybe challenge their players to a fight. Even coaching at tiny UMass-Dartmouth can try a man's soul....
Rick Majerus: Serial Child Squasher
Last week, we ran a post that exposed SLU head basketball coach Rick Majerus as someone who enjoys shitting on towels and sitting on campers. Here are MORE stories of Majerus', uh, largesse....
USF Figuratively Punches Jim Leavitt In The Face
FanHouse reports that South Florida has fired slappy Jim Leavitt, the coach who allegedly grabbed a walk-on by the throat and hit him twice in the face. Somehow, this will be blamed on Adam James, too. [FanHouse]...
Gilbert Arenas Suspended Indefinitely For Horsing Around With Guns In Locker Room
"Although it is clear that the actions of Mr. Arenas will ultimately result in a substantial suspension, and perhaps worse, his ongoing conduct has led me to conclude that he is not currently fit to take the court..."[Reuters]...
A*HOLE COACH DIGEST: Special Rick Majerus Edition
There are asshole coaches, and then there is Rick Majerus, the St. Louis head basketball coach, who is legendary for his humor, his size, his crassness and, of course, for starring in Just The Ten Of Us....
Baylor Commits Girl-On-Girl Crime
Brittney Griner dunks twice (scoff, but when's the last time Shaq did that?) as the Lady Bears put a Texas-sized hurting on Texas State, 99-18. At least the Washington Generals keep it close until the ladder comes out. [Waco Tribune]...
The Demolition of Texas Stadium, Brought To You By Macaroni and Cheese
Kraft is sponsoring the upcoming destruction of the Cowboys' old home, along with a children's essay contest where the winner gets to pull the trigger. Bet you wish you'd taught your kids to read and write now, eh Philadelphia?...
The Britches Of Arkansas County: A Rear-Gazing Dispatch From The World Duck Calling Championship
Sam Eifling spent a recent Saturday in Stuttgart, Ark., at the World's Championship Duck Calling Contest and its Duck Gumbo party, a rollicking bumpkin Mardi Gras that has taken for its central rite the practice of slapping that ass....
NHL Winter Classic: Flyers. Penguins. Or Bruins. Go.
It'd be a shame to neglect hockey fans on their special day. So enjoy the live blog that Melt Your Face Off has going on, and look at Enrico's pretty pictures. What say you, Todd Mc...oh, wait....
A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: The One Where Lester Hayes Ruins A 12-Year-Old
Welcome to Asshole Coach Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane coaches you ever had. Email me your asshole coach story here....
Your Nightly Athlete Backside
This male rear nudity is becoming a disturbing trend. This edition's exhibitionist: Shannon Brown, who probably wishes the players could change before the media enter the locker room....
Free Skating At Fenway? It'll Cost You
Scalpers, by definition, resell tickets at multiples of face value. Boston scalpers, perhaps having failed math, have marked up ostensibly free tickets by some magic factor that turns zero dollars into: lots of money....