ass Page 290 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Deadspin Classic: A Disco Inferno
In an alternate universe, Deadspin's archives would cover the whole scope of human history. Occasionally, we like to revisit those timeless moments that we would have written about, if only we could have. Today: The night disco died....

Teammate Is Totally Undermining Lance Armstrong
Alberto Contador unexpectedly moved into second, and the Tour de France suddenly went all Brandy vs. Monica. Lance: "Things didn't really go according to the plan we mapped out before. I was a little surprised, but it doesn't matter." [AFP]...

Rick Reilly® Celebrates After Scoring Big Interview With Lance Armstrong's Ass
But before that, Rick Reilly® was apparently wandering aimlessly on a French road and this nice photographer lady picked him up. Then they went back to the hotel and slammed beers....

CBS News By Brooks
This photograph of Sahel Kazemi comes from CBS News' Crimesider blog, which promises "a rare glimpse into the slain football hero's hidden world" but in reality offers nothing but a glimpse into a dead woman's cleavage....

Deadspin Classic: Kobe Doin' <i>What?</i>
In an alternate universe, Deadspin's archives would cover the whole scope of human history. Occasionally, we like to revisit those timeless moments that we would have written about, if only we could have. Today: Kobe Bryant's Colorado Adventure....

Leading By Example, One Headbutt At A Time
Youth baseball coaches choose from an array of options in the post-game handshake line. They can: shake hands (classy), fist-bump (terroristic), feign ignorance (juvenile) or headbutt the rival coach in the face in front of minors (aggravated assault). [Star-Ledger]...

John Feinstein Has Bypass Surgery
Feinstein, author of 4,285 books and a new, now poignantly named blog, writes: "The angiogram showed 'four to six,' blockages in my heart-one of them 100 percent." He went under the knife yesterday. [Feinstein on the Brink]...

The Lightning's Draft Pick Really Does Read The Articles
Q: What's the last book you read? Viktor Hedman: "I don't want to say. The last one was Jenna Jameson, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star." Delightfully tacky, yet literately unrefined. [JoeBoltsFan]...

Someone Needs A Refund
Sir Sidney Ponson, in the midst of leading the Dutch Honkball team to the quarterfinals of the WBC, tested positive for Phentermine, a stimulant and appetite suppressant. He's also the reason we invented Deadspin widescreen. [AP]...

Mazel Tov, Omri Casspi
Casspi was selected with the 23rd pick in the Draft last night, which, in David Stern's mind, completely validates the NBA's entire push for globalization. Shalom, chaver. If Casspi — a 6-foot-9 small forward who had some success in the Euroleague — makes the NBA, he will be the first Israeli and se...

Michael Jackson Dies. Chad Johnson Says It's "Just As Sad As 9/11."
The LA Times is saying King of Pop Michael Jackson died today after suffering a heart attack. He was 50. Because this is a sports blog, here's a video, via NESW Sports, of Jackson playing one-on-one with Michael Jordan. RIP....

Deadspin Classic: The O.J. Chase
In an alternate universe, Deadspin's archives would cover the whole scope of human history. Occasionally, we like to revisit those timeless moments that we would have written about, if only we could have. Today: The 15th anniversary of "The Chase."...

College Baseball Fans Not Used To Being On TV
Mike Irwin of KFSM in Fayetteville would just like to talk about Arkansas baseball, but some slack-jawed SEC fans just can't resist a chance to be on the teevee. Get your hands off him, you damn dirty apes!...

This Photo Is Much Better For A Sunday Morning Than The Other Option
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Stan Van Gundy A "Working-Class Hero," Says Newspaper For Rich People (UPDATE)
There is no worse fate for an NBA final than to be turned into a roundtable discussion on the brilliance of the coach. Someone please tell the Wall Street Journal: Stan Van Gundy is not the reason people are watching....

Jeter On The Lam After Bank Robbery, Support Of PatriotsBlue Jays
Chad Floyd Jeter is wanted by police after allegedly robbing a bank in Alabama, while wearing a New England PatriotsBlue Jays cap misidentified by Alabama police as a Patriots hat. (Who did you think I was talking about?) He is considered armed and dangerously clutch. [Wicked Good Sports]...

Mark Buehrle's Truck Will Cause Ice Caps To Melt
One alert emailer sent along this photo of the White Sox hurler gassing up his famously scary truck constructed by demonic gorilla robots from some dusty holocaust netherworld....

Selena Roberts On Whitlock: "Perhaps There's A Little Homophobia There"
This week's Deadcast guest is Selena Roberts, the author of A-Rod and columnist for SI. Did you know Selena is the daughter of hoboes? It's true!...

A Day At The Races, With Larry King!
Item: CNN's Larry King, the former USA Today Beat poet and godfather of Twitter, has a new memoir dropping. Today's excerpt, in which a down-and-out Larry hits the racetrack, is as awesome as you'd expect....

One Connecticut High School Golf Team Shows Why Everyone On The Planet Hates Them
"We were going to have to bag it. It would have been a bummer. I just called my dad. He has a friend who has a couple of puddle-jumper planes." [Greenwich Time]...