ass Page 290 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

USF Figuratively Punches Jim Leavitt In The Face
FanHouse reports that South Florida has fired slappy Jim Leavitt, the coach who allegedly grabbed a walk-on by the throat and hit him twice in the face. Somehow, this will be blamed on Adam James, too. [FanHouse]...

Gilbert Arenas Suspended Indefinitely For Horsing Around With Guns In Locker Room
"Although it is clear that the actions of Mr. Arenas will ultimately result in a substantial suspension, and perhaps worse, his ongoing conduct has led me to conclude that he is not currently fit to take the court..."[Reuters]...

A*HOLE COACH DIGEST: Special Rick Majerus Edition
There are asshole coaches, and then there is Rick Majerus, the St. Louis head basketball coach, who is legendary for his humor, his size, his crassness and, of course, for starring in Just The Ten Of Us....

Baylor Commits Girl-On-Girl Crime
Brittney Griner dunks twice (scoff, but when's the last time Shaq did that?) as the Lady Bears put a Texas-sized hurting on Texas State, 99-18. At least the Washington Generals keep it close until the ladder comes out. [Waco Tribune]...

The Demolition of Texas Stadium, Brought To You By Macaroni and Cheese
Kraft is sponsoring the upcoming destruction of the Cowboys' old home, along with a children's essay contest where the winner gets to pull the trigger. Bet you wish you'd taught your kids to read and write now, eh Philadelphia?...

The Britches Of Arkansas County: A Rear-Gazing Dispatch From The World Duck Calling Championship
Sam Eifling spent a recent Saturday in Stuttgart, Ark., at the World's Championship Duck Calling Contest and its Duck Gumbo party, a rollicking bumpkin Mardi Gras that has taken for its central rite the practice of slapping that ass....

NHL Winter Classic: Flyers. Penguins. Or Bruins. Go.
It'd be a shame to neglect hockey fans on their special day. So enjoy the live blog that Melt Your Face Off has going on, and look at Enrico's pretty pictures. What say you, Todd Mc...oh, wait....

A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: The One Where Lester Hayes Ruins A 12-Year-Old
Welcome to Asshole Coach Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane coaches you ever had. Email me your asshole coach story here....

Your Nightly Athlete Backside
This male rear nudity is becoming a disturbing trend. This edition's exhibitionist: Shannon Brown, who probably wishes the players could change before the media enter the locker room....

Free Skating At Fenway? It'll Cost You
Scalpers, by definition, resell tickets at multiples of face value. Boston scalpers, perhaps having failed math, have marked up ostensibly free tickets by some magic factor that turns zero dollars into: lots of money....

The Tackling Sled Of Death
Welcome to Asshole Coach Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane coaches you ever had. Email me your asshole coach story here. Off we go....

Let's All Thank God For Tommy Kelly's Jock Strap
And here's how we send you into this good night. Not just with a de-pantsed football player, but with a de-pantsed lineman. Click through only if you haven't eaten recently....

A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Did He Just Call Me Ni***r Shoes?
Welcome to Asshole Coach Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane coaches you ever had. Email me your asshole coach story here. Off we go....

A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: The Story Of “The Grip”
Welcome to Asshole Coach Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane coaches you ever had. Email me your asshole coach story here. Off we go....

A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: "Yeah, That's It. Now Wash His Chest."
Welcome to Asshole Coach Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane coaches you ever had. Email me your asshole coach story here. Off we go....

Ladies And Gentlemen, Allow Me To Present Your UFL Champions, The Las Vegas Locomotives
The Jim Fassel-coached Las Vegas Locomotives beat the Florida Tuskers 20-17 in overtime in front of 14,801 fans to claim the first UFL championship. And what a way to cap off a thrilling, pressure-packed UFL season. [Las Vegas Sun]...

A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Coach Will Watch You Shower Now
Welcome to Asshole Coach Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane coaches you ever had. Email me your asshole coach story here. Off we go....

Full Moon Over Chicago
Considering the flood of emails, you people are all about Devin Hester's ass. I'm not here to judge, so we present it in all its glory after the jump....

Blame Drew: ASU Baseball Coach Pat Murphy Resigns
Pat Murphy announced his resignation today, thus freeing up some time to roam the earth, seek out Drew and beat him like a redheaded stepchild, if he were the sort of man to do such a thing. [ASU Sun Devils]...

Jay Mariotti Tossed From Chicago Bar After Scuffle With Patron Over Cell Phone Pic?
We're waiting for further confirmation on this story, but according to multiple sources, Jay Mariotti was tossed from Chicago'sUnderground Night Club(fixed) last night after he went ballistic on a guy who snapped a picture of him. Haters smell blood....