ass Page 296 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Matt Cassel Got A Little Wet At The ESPN Party
For the most part, this Super Bowl XLIII party weekend seemed relatively tame compared to previous years. That is until somebody at the ESPN party peed on Patriots' quarterback Matt Cassel....

Matt Cassel Knows He's Still The Guy Behind The Guy
"This is Tom's team. The Patriots have been Tom's team. He's built that franchise up with his own two hands." [ESPN]...

The Red Sox Next Big Acquisition Will Be An Angry Cow
From pink hats to cowboy hats: The Red Sox marketing arm teams up with the Professional Bull Riders Association. [Fast Company]...

The Greatest Sportscasters Of All Time; A List That's Sure To Confuse You
Not sure when The American Sportscasters Association put out its list of the top 50 sportscasters of all time, but here it is. Berman's in there! And Joe Buck!...

Who is The Fiend Who Stole JoePa's Glasses?
APB, State College, Pa., Police Department: All units be on the lookout for anyone wearing pair of thick, bronze glasses. Suspect may also be wearing a USC sweatshirt....

The One With White, Hairy, Humanitarian Bowl Backside
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

Is This Man Your Next Denver Broncos Coach?
The ink wasn't dry on Mike Shanahan's honorable discharge before Broncos owner Pat Bowlen set the wheels in motion to find a new coach. The leading candidates: Bob Stoops and three others....

Sammy Sosa Does Not Come To You For A Contract Offer
Sammy Sosa is now 40 years old. And despite hitting a serviceable 21 homers and 92 RBI in limited action in 2007, he didn't play last year, and he probably won't play in 2009, either. Especially when he thinks that teams should be chasing him. These are the misunderstandings that occur when times ge...

That's One Hell of a Right Jab
This picture comes from earlier today when umpire Garth DiFelice defended himself from a charging Kenneth Darby with a textbook right cross jab to the chin. Or at least that's the way it looks to me....

Fare Thee Well, Texas Stadium
If you're the type of individual with feelings for structures in which sporting events take place, then today has been a rather emotionally draining day....

David Hasselhoff Will Sing To Mormons
Yes, The Hoff will belt out the National Anthem at the Las Vegas Bowl on Saturday, and we can only hope that ESPN will cover it live. No doubt this is why the game is already a sellout. [Las Vegas Sun]...

Oh, So He's Insane
"We understand that Sean has problems, and we understand that people are human," Hull said. "We don't want to ruin Sean or his career. We want him to get better, but we needed to obviously part ways with Sean. It's amicable." [Dallas Morning News]...

ESPN Keeps Us Entertained With Ironic Headlines
Perhaps not the best choice of words in headline No. 2, considering the whole story behind headline No. 1. Oh ESPN headbots, you've done it again....

Sean Avery Out In Dallas
It looks like Sean Avery's suspension is upgraded back to "forever". Avery will not be re-joining the Stars when is six game time-out is over....

Doping Scandal Threatens To Destroy The World Of ... Chess?
Vassily Ivanchuk of the Ukraine is the third-ranked player in the world, but he faces a two-year ban from his game because he failed a drug test. A drug test. In chess....

More Bone Crunching UFC Action
In case you need a break from watching Corey Hill's elongated flipper on a 24-hour loop, there was even more calcium-deficient moments from this week's UFC contest....

Sean Avery To Enjoy Nice Six-Game Vacation
In case you hadn't heard, Sean Avery's suspension has been downgraded from "forever" to six games—including two already served—meaning Elisha Cuthbert's honor should be safe for the next two weeks or so. More hilarious than the fact that a hockey player has been suspended for dirty talk is that he n...

Deadspin Deleted Scenes: The One With Facial Art and STD Addendums
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another - usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolut...

What Is ESPN Sports Passport, And Should I Be Afraid?
Surely you've noticed by now that alongside every recap on ESPN.com is an ad for ESPN Sports Passport. But what is this exciting service and how will it affect my daily life? Let's let the WWL itself explain: WERE YOU THERE? Did you attend this game? If so, start chronicling your sports memories tod...

Will Matt Cassel Fetch $10 Million A Year?
Patriots quarterback Matt Cassel, or as we refer to the long-time understudy in my keeper league, "Goddamn Matt Cassel," couldn't have orchestrated a better time for Ton Brady to get injured, as Cassel's contract expires at the end of this season. Rumor has it that Cassel will be seeking "Aaron Rodg...