ass Page 296 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tommy Lasorda: Clinically Delusional At Any Altitude
For those who think that Tommy Lasorda should pack up his follow-the-flag, I-love-the-good-ole-USA act and ship off to a nice assisted living community, here's more evidence to have him sent away....

Do Sports Keep High Schools From Actually Being Schools?
A lawmaker in North Carolina wants a bill that would force public schools to shut down their athletic programs if the rest of the school is filled with clumsy idiots....

World Baseball Classic Will Only Happen In Your Dreams
The World Baseball Classic has begun! Too bad you were asleep and missed the whole thing. [MLB.com]...

Cyst May Force Alex Rodriguez To Cease
Alex Rodriguez is having a bang up year in 2009. The latest calamity? A bone cyst that may force him to bail on Team D.R. at the World Baseball Classic....

Jay Mariotti Calls Shenanigans On Matt Cassel Trade
Gentleman Jay Mariotti knows a raw deal when he sees one and something about that Matt Cassel to Kansas City trade does not smell right to him....

Meet Your New Quarterback, Kansas City: Matt Cassel
Adam Schefter of NFL.com is reporting that the Chiefs have completed a trade for Patriots back-up (but franchised!) quarterback, Mr. Matt Cassel. Details of the compensation package have yet to be publicized....

Andy Phillips And The Bizarre Porn Star Police Report
Former Yankee prospect Andy Phillips is considered one of the nicest family men in all of baseball by other writers and his peers. So why has an adult actress filed a police report against him?...

It's Not Easy Being Byung-Hyun Kim
Byung-Hyun Kim lost his passport, so he won't be able to play in the World Baseball Classic. Did they try looking in the right-field bleachers at Yankee Stadium? [Korea Times]...

Cole Aldrich Does Not Appreciate Your Prank Calls (With Update)
Following the jump is a link to a voice mail message left by Jayhawks center Cole Aldrich, to one of the many Kansas State fans who had been prank calling him yesterday....

Guy Who Was Peed On At Super Bowl Rumored To Be On Trading Block
The Patriots officially put the franchise tag on Matt Cassel. Brady's knee will decide where he'll end up. [Reiss' Pieces]...

Kurt Warner's "Fumble" Brings Back Some Old Tuck Rule Memories
Kurt Warner passed the ball. Kurt Warner fumbled the ball. Everybody has an opinion. Is this 'Tuck Rule II'?...

Matt Cassel Got A Little Wet At The ESPN Party
For the most part, this Super Bowl XLIII party weekend seemed relatively tame compared to previous years. That is until somebody at the ESPN party peed on Patriots' quarterback Matt Cassel....

Matt Cassel Knows He's Still The Guy Behind The Guy
"This is Tom's team. The Patriots have been Tom's team. He's built that franchise up with his own two hands." [ESPN]...

The Red Sox Next Big Acquisition Will Be An Angry Cow
From pink hats to cowboy hats: The Red Sox marketing arm teams up with the Professional Bull Riders Association. [Fast Company]...

The Greatest Sportscasters Of All Time; A List That's Sure To Confuse You
Not sure when The American Sportscasters Association put out its list of the top 50 sportscasters of all time, but here it is. Berman's in there! And Joe Buck!...

Who is The Fiend Who Stole JoePa's Glasses?
APB, State College, Pa., Police Department: All units be on the lookout for anyone wearing pair of thick, bronze glasses. Suspect may also be wearing a USC sweatshirt....

The One With White, Hairy, Humanitarian Bowl Backside
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

Is This Man Your Next Denver Broncos Coach?
The ink wasn't dry on Mike Shanahan's honorable discharge before Broncos owner Pat Bowlen set the wheels in motion to find a new coach. The leading candidates: Bob Stoops and three others....

Sammy Sosa Does Not Come To You For A Contract Offer
Sammy Sosa is now 40 years old. And despite hitting a serviceable 21 homers and 92 RBI in limited action in 2007, he didn't play last year, and he probably won't play in 2009, either. Especially when he thinks that teams should be chasing him. These are the misunderstandings that occur when times ge...

That's One Hell of a Right Jab
This picture comes from earlier today when umpire Garth DiFelice defended himself from a charging Kenneth Darby with a textbook right cross jab to the chin. Or at least that's the way it looks to me....