ass Page 297 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Promising Backups That Paved the Way for Matt Cassel's Padded Bank Account
Continuing with our economic theme today, the market outlook seems awfully bullish for New England Patriots backup turned starter Matt Cassel. After his big time coming out party on Thursday night, in which Bill Simmons drunkenly compared him to John Elway, Cassel looks to have set himself up for qu...
When Hoop Dreams Become Hoop Nighmares
Another inevitable sign you're getting old: It's been nearly 15 years since the release of "Hoop Dreams". For the ignorant kids out there, "Hoop Dreams" was the universally-praised documentary that followed around two young kids from inner city Chicago, William Gates and Arthur Agee, as they tried ...
How Much Do LSU Fans Hate Nick Saban? The Coonass Bowl Is Upon Us
Wright Thompson of ESPN hung out with some LSU fans two weeks ago for the Georgia-LSU game. Not surprisingly LSU fans were focused less on Georgia and more on their hate for Nick Saban. The result is a rollicking story of what happens when you get dumped for a hated rival and then your former coach...
For Your Viewing Pleasure: A Cross-Country Demolition Blog Post Without Rules
• 12:00 — Sport: College Football - Texas Tech vs. Kansas [ESPN] - Not pictured: Texas, Oklahoma State and Oklahoma lining up to help expand the rear entry opened wide by Kansas. • 12:00 — Sport: College Football - Illinois vs. Wisconsin [ESPN2] - The Beloit, WI/South Beloit, IL Border War heats up....
Larry Johnson Makes a Solemn Vow to Not Become Ike Turner
Chiefs running back Larry Johnson was deactivated again this week and addressed his latest lady-pestering incident with the media yesterday and seemed surprisingly contrite. We're so used to seeing troubled athletes mumble through scripted apologies for the sake of their career, it's a little jarrin...
Breaking News! Tony Romo Stands Around Watching Practice, Terrible Concerts
But that's not all - he also did some light football tossing yesterday...with the very hand he throws a football with! Yep, no news was big news at Cowboys practice on Friday, as Romo suited up but didn't do a whole heckuva lot. The Cowboys' injury report lists him as questionable (with an "America...
The New York Times Helps Matt Stairs Retrieve His Masculinity
Matt Stairs' stay as a Philadelphia's favorite 40-year-old beefy homer-hitting Canuck continues today, with a story about him in today's New York Times that gives America's baseball nation a closer glimpse at the 16-year vet. The whole piece focuses on Stairs' everyman-ness and how he's a "guys' guy...
Two Aces Prove Their Worth
• Rays 9, Red Sox 8 With the two teams' respective aces taking the mound, you just knew it was going to be a swift affair - barely enough time to finish a six-pack - that would be decided by whichever team blinked first and allowed the one and only run to cross the plate. Just kidding. The game las...
The Casselification Of America Has Begun
So you thought you were suffering from Tom Brady overload? At least there's only one of him. Meet the Cassels! Matt, of course, you know; he filled in for the mangled Brady on Sunday and led the Patriots to a 17-10 win over the Chiefs. He is set to assault every one of our six senses — especially he...
David Hasselhoff Is a Crazy, Wild Arizona Football Fan
Who likes hanging out with his daughter in the student section. With a camera. Really, he does. Allegedly this is because he has at least one daughter attending Arizona. Which makes complete sense. Because everyone who has ever been to college wants their dad or mom to bring a handheld video camera...
MLB Closer: Do Not Taunt Surly Third-Place Kitty
Zach Miner of Los Tigres Detroit committed regicide on the monarchs from Missouri, allowing only three singles in seven innings on the way to a 4-0 victory in Kansas City last night. How could he get away with such domination on a major league franchise while only striking out three? How could he kn...
Tell Me How My Sass Tastes: Woman Gets Restraining Order Against Shaq For "Stalking"
Just as things started looking up for Shaquille O'Neal (a rejuvenation of his NBA career in Phoenix, a rejuvenation of his rap career, making up with his estranged wife) he might be in store for some troubling times due to the allegations of one Atlanta-based lady who claims The Diesel is "stalking ...
Gamers and Playmates and Heroes! Oh my!
This year is the 20th anniversary of John Madden football and to commemorate this historic occasion, the folks at EA Sports are holding a "MaddenPalooza" event in Los Angeles. Deadspin has dispatched Michael Tunison to cover some of the sights, sounds, and overall geekiness. If you have any sugges...
For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
• 1:00 — Golf: Senior British Open, Final Round [ABC] • 1:30 — Baseball: 2008 Hall of Fame Induction Ceremonies [ESPN Classic] • 2:00 — Cars: Sprint Cup: Allstate 400 at the Brickyard [ESPN] • 2:00 — Movie: The Ladies Man [Comedy Central] • 2:00 — Baseball: Chicago Cubs vs. Florida Marlins [TBS] • 3...
Remember To Have Sympathy For Jim Leyritz Tonight
Former Yankees' catcher Jim Leyritz, seen above, wobbling and ivehashjushacoupladrinksh-ing for Fort Lauderdale police before his DUI arrest last Dec. 28th is upset. That night Leyritz, 44, was involved in an accident with 30-year-old Plantation, Fla., native Freida Veitch. Veitch had a BAC of .18, ...
Tony Kornheiser Is Very Fussy About His Shellfish
In case you were wondering just what Tony Kornheiser is really like, apparently these days the needle on the douchemeter is pressed all the way to the right. I can't imagine going to a seafood restaurant and throwing a fit because my favorite variety of crab isn't on the menu, but then I don't work ...
Brett Favre As A Viking And The Importance Of Your One True Hate
Drew Magary's Balls Deep column runs every Thursday afternoon. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK....
Sean Avery Will Now Have To J.O. To Dallas Ladies
Well, isn't that fitting. Fashion-friendly hockey menace Sean Avery gets savaged by Gawker due to his "I'm Going Home To Jerk Off To You Now" comment at a Paris fashion show and then signs a 4-year deal with the Dallas Stars. The Stars are excited about his hockey skills more than his masturbatio...
Rubes Falling For Fake Stone Cold Not Really A Stunner
A fellow masquerading as "Stone Cold" Steve Austin charged some dim bulbs at a Wal-Mart in Indiana for his autograph, then hightailed it through the crowd before a bunch of referees and backstage security could detain him. He then drank a couple beers and gave some people the finger....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......