ass Page 298 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cubs Go For the Sweep On the North Side
If the White Sox are going to come out of Wrigley with a win in this series, they'll need a good performance from Javier Vasquez. The Cubs counter with Ryan Dempster, who cannot possibly be this good. I'm going to call it a weekend, but I expect all of you DUANers to play nicely with each other. Whe...
Boston Just Can't Get Enthusiastic About Sports Rioting Anymore
Boston-area sports fans are becoming immune to the exhilarating joy of winning championships. It was only a few years ago that the celebrations following a New England Super Bowl victory or a Red Sox World Series win would result in mass chaos: cars being set on fire, looting, young women being sho...
Kwame Kilpatrick Will Never Send You Naughty Text Messages After This
Beleaguered Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick was not received warmly at the Red Wings victory extravaganza yesterday. Maybe it has something to do with the sundry scandals and the vetoing of the funds set aside to remove him from office. The booing doesn't even fade after the proffering of free beer. ...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Carlos Guillen Would Like To Borrow Your Cooling Ointment And A Large Cushion
Anyone who's ever had the misfortune of being stricken with a dreaded hemorrhoid flare-up can attest to how painful it is. When it first appears, the general swamp ass-y, hiney spider feeling reaches about a "5" on the uncomforability scale. But the longer it lingers, it quickly shoots up to about a...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured it's message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Goose Gossage Has Had Enough Of Your Tomfoolery
I guess we're somewhat removed from the era in which Rich "Goose" Gossage dominated baseball; well, when he dominated the final three innings of it, anyway. The closer really hadn't been perfected until Gossage came along, and the game hasn't been the same since. Although the Hall of Famer spent jus...
Chris Osgood's Feel-Good Story Comes To A Butt-End
While Mitch Albom was gushing over what a selfless mensch Chris Osgood is on the Sports Reporters this morning for gracefully stepping aside when the Red Wings signed Dominik Hasek, he conveniently ignored the cheap shot Osgood took with the butt-end of his stick to the Stars' Mike Ribeiro at the en...
Previewing The Red Wings-Stars
The Deadspin NHL Playoff Previews are brought to you by the five foppish gents at Melt Your Face Off. Please don't wear an ascot when a cravat is called for, or they will be right put out. LeNoceur breaks down the Western Conference Finals....
Terry Pettis And The Infinite Madness
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th) awful...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch with your new friend, Mr. Happy Toilet ... • Arena Football League: Chicago at Kansas City (8:30 p.m., ET). Here's hoping for plenty of air-time for the Brigade Girls. [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at Cleveland (7 p.m., ET). Hopefully it will be above 12 degrees. [ESPN] • NHL: Western Conferen...
The Beckham Men Enjoy Our Finest Athletes
• The Lakers still have a shot at catching the Hornets for the top spot in the Western Conference, and they came out playing like a team that wants homecourt advantage. LA outscored New Orleans 39-20 in the first quarter before the Hornets tenacious second half comeback. However, the Lakers perseve...
Stanley Cup Preview: The Fours Meet The Fives
NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski previews the 2008 Stanley Cup Finals right up until they drop what is commonly referred to as "the puck."...
Benny The Bull Will Put A Cap In Your Ass
When talking about illegal mascot shenanigans, no one, of course, beats the drunken exploits of the Stanford Tree. But running a close second is Benny the Bull, the only NBA mascot with a criminal record for battery on a police officer. On Tuesday he was at it again, shooting the Celtics' Kevin Garn...
Finally, Massholes Have Something to Celebrate
As we wait for the Final Four to finally kick off on Saturday, the gang at Storming the Floor are amusing themselves with the championship-like substance contained in the NIT and CBI post-season tournaments....
WWE Goes Nipple-Free
Wrestlemania XXIV is this Sunday ONLY. ON. PAY. PER. VIEW. and though there will be many bare chested (but totally hetero!) galoots offending the eyes with their useless male nipples while doing their sports entertainment thing, someone decided that just wouldn't be aboveboard to have them all out t...
Um, Maybe We Should Just Skip The Olympic Torch This Time
Well, that didn't take long. They were still flicking the cigarette lighter in preparation of lighting the Olympic Torch today in Greece when a protester crashed the ceremony, with what looks like a pirate flag. A rousing start on the 84-day journey in which the torch will pass through several locat...
Take a Picture, It'll Last Longer... Then Shred It
Be it in practice, on film, inside another man's house, or at an NIT basketball game, Bill Belichick can't help but take notice of some untapped potential. TMZ brings us this transcendent image from Florida's victory in the NIT last night. Clearly Nick Calathes' triple double wasn't the only to imp...
Frank Caliendo, Dish Network To Be Sued Back To The Stone Age?
Of course just about everyone loves Frank TV: Christians, Hindus, Muslims, Jews … our admiration for the voice stylings of Frank Caliendo is the only thing on which we can all agree.* Two notable exceptions, however, are John Madden and Charles Barkley, who do not take kindly to Caliendo using thei...