ass Page 298 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
David Hasselhoff Is a Crazy, Wild Arizona Football Fan
Who likes hanging out with his daughter in the student section. With a camera. Really, he does. Allegedly this is because he has at least one daughter attending Arizona. Which makes complete sense. Because everyone who has ever been to college wants their dad or mom to bring a handheld video camera...
MLB Closer: Do Not Taunt Surly Third-Place Kitty
Zach Miner of Los Tigres Detroit committed regicide on the monarchs from Missouri, allowing only three singles in seven innings on the way to a 4-0 victory in Kansas City last night. How could he get away with such domination on a major league franchise while only striking out three? How could he kn...
Tell Me How My Sass Tastes: Woman Gets Restraining Order Against Shaq For "Stalking"
Just as things started looking up for Shaquille O'Neal (a rejuvenation of his NBA career in Phoenix, a rejuvenation of his rap career, making up with his estranged wife) he might be in store for some troubling times due to the allegations of one Atlanta-based lady who claims The Diesel is "stalking ...
Gamers and Playmates and Heroes! Oh my!
This year is the 20th anniversary of John Madden football and to commemorate this historic occasion, the folks at EA Sports are holding a "MaddenPalooza" event in Los Angeles. Deadspin has dispatched Michael Tunison to cover some of the sights, sounds, and overall geekiness. If you have any sugges...
For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
• 1:00 — Golf: Senior British Open, Final Round [ABC] • 1:30 — Baseball: 2008 Hall of Fame Induction Ceremonies [ESPN Classic] • 2:00 — Cars: Sprint Cup: Allstate 400 at the Brickyard [ESPN] • 2:00 — Movie: The Ladies Man [Comedy Central] • 2:00 — Baseball: Chicago Cubs vs. Florida Marlins [TBS] • 3...
Remember To Have Sympathy For Jim Leyritz Tonight
Former Yankees' catcher Jim Leyritz, seen above, wobbling and ivehashjushacoupladrinksh-ing for Fort Lauderdale police before his DUI arrest last Dec. 28th is upset. That night Leyritz, 44, was involved in an accident with 30-year-old Plantation, Fla., native Freida Veitch. Veitch had a BAC of .18, ...
Tony Kornheiser Is Very Fussy About His Shellfish
In case you were wondering just what Tony Kornheiser is really like, apparently these days the needle on the douchemeter is pressed all the way to the right. I can't imagine going to a seafood restaurant and throwing a fit because my favorite variety of crab isn't on the menu, but then I don't work ...
Brett Favre As A Viking And The Importance Of Your One True Hate
Drew Magary's Balls Deep column runs every Thursday afternoon. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK....
Sean Avery Will Now Have To J.O. To Dallas Ladies
Well, isn't that fitting. Fashion-friendly hockey menace Sean Avery gets savaged by Gawker due to his "I'm Going Home To Jerk Off To You Now" comment at a Paris fashion show and then signs a 4-year deal with the Dallas Stars. The Stars are excited about his hockey skills more than his masturbatio...
Rubes Falling For Fake Stone Cold Not Really A Stunner
A fellow masquerading as "Stone Cold" Steve Austin charged some dim bulbs at a Wal-Mart in Indiana for his autograph, then hightailed it through the crowd before a bunch of referees and backstage security could detain him. He then drank a couple beers and gave some people the finger....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Cubs Go For the Sweep On the North Side
If the White Sox are going to come out of Wrigley with a win in this series, they'll need a good performance from Javier Vasquez. The Cubs counter with Ryan Dempster, who cannot possibly be this good. I'm going to call it a weekend, but I expect all of you DUANers to play nicely with each other. Whe...
Boston Just Can't Get Enthusiastic About Sports Rioting Anymore
Boston-area sports fans are becoming immune to the exhilarating joy of winning championships. It was only a few years ago that the celebrations following a New England Super Bowl victory or a Red Sox World Series win would result in mass chaos: cars being set on fire, looting, young women being sho...
Kwame Kilpatrick Will Never Send You Naughty Text Messages After This
Beleaguered Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick was not received warmly at the Red Wings victory extravaganza yesterday. Maybe it has something to do with the sundry scandals and the vetoing of the funds set aside to remove him from office. The booing doesn't even fade after the proffering of free beer. ...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Carlos Guillen Would Like To Borrow Your Cooling Ointment And A Large Cushion
Anyone who's ever had the misfortune of being stricken with a dreaded hemorrhoid flare-up can attest to how painful it is. When it first appears, the general swamp ass-y, hiney spider feeling reaches about a "5" on the uncomforability scale. But the longer it lingers, it quickly shoots up to about a...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured it's message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Goose Gossage Has Had Enough Of Your Tomfoolery
I guess we're somewhat removed from the era in which Rich "Goose" Gossage dominated baseball; well, when he dominated the final three innings of it, anyway. The closer really hadn't been perfected until Gossage came along, and the game hasn't been the same since. Although the Hall of Famer spent jus...
Chris Osgood's Feel-Good Story Comes To A Butt-End
While Mitch Albom was gushing over what a selfless mensch Chris Osgood is on the Sports Reporters this morning for gracefully stepping aside when the Red Wings signed Dominik Hasek, he conveniently ignored the cheap shot Osgood took with the butt-end of his stick to the Stars' Mike Ribeiro at the en...
Previewing The Red Wings-Stars
The Deadspin NHL Playoff Previews are brought to you by the five foppish gents at Melt Your Face Off. Please don't wear an ascot when a cravat is called for, or they will be right put out. LeNoceur breaks down the Western Conference Finals....