ass Page 299 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Day Full Of The Rock On ESPN Classic
We always enjoy ESPN's movie cross promotions, if by "enjoy," you mean "die a little inside." For every move that makes sense — if you're gonna make us sit through "Who's Now?" you might as well have Jessica Biel host it — you have 10 that turn your stomach, like the clips from Johnny Depp movies du...
Charlie Weis, Unsuccessful In Obese Litigation
Say what you will about Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis, but you can't say he isn't constantly charging forward. Whether it's recruiting, attacking a Cover 2 or, you know, gastric bypass surgery, the guy makes up his mind and just GOES FOR IT, MAN. Suck Off The Fat Like A Champion. Unfortunately, such...
Softball Players Are No Good At Word Games
Burnt Orange Nation ran an interview with former Texas softball pitcher Cat Osterman on Monday, at the end of which Osterman was asked to play a little word association (a recurring BON interview theme). While obviously a talented hurler, Osterman sadly bobbled this assignment. Instead of shooting b...
Rita Ragone Has Influential Friends
Be advised, Woody Paige; if you think that you're going to steamroll Rita Ragone in this sexual harrassment lawsuit due to your celebrity status, think again. Ms. Ragone, Stylist to the Stars, has some powerful friends. According to her web site, not only is Stephen A. Smith in her corner, but she a...
Mel Hall Is Not A Nice Man
If you're like us, you've always wondered: Whatever happened to Mel Hall? (This is why you are fortunately not like us.) The thoroughly average '80s-early '90s outfielder plays stumbled along for the Cubs and Indians before playing on some truly wretched Yankees teams. Plucky fellow. Hope matters tu...
Maybe There's A Reason Laurence Maroney Wants You To Wash U Ass
MediaTakeOut.com, the website everyone turns to when they want the hard-hitting truth, picked up on the Laurence Maroney items from yesterday at KSK and here, and are now, based on the below picture, insinuating that Maroney is gay....
The WWE Is Leaving No Stone Unturned
We didn't grow up watching much professional wrestling, so we don't have the solid foundation in its history as some of you might ... but we'll confess, for a writer/reporter, being brought into an ongoing WWE "feud" without your knowledge has to be quite the career highlight....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while playing the German version of Wii Hole In One golf ... wait, what did it say on the screen? • MLB: Giants lose (we didn't even have to type that; just "right-click," "paste," as usual). • College baseball: Ward, I'm worried about the Beavers ... OSU's 12-6 win over Arizona Stat...
Farewell And Adieu To You Fair Spanish Ladies
Just in case David Beckham has any ideas about sticking around in Europe, Tom Cruise and wife Katie Holmes were on hand to make sure that he gets on that plane for LA. Sunday's farewell game was a magical moment for Beckham's rooting section (that's Victoria toting Imp Spice next to the Cruises), as...
Agassi's Best Li'l Schoolhouse in Vegas
After that Vick link-dump, I'm thrilled to move on to something much more soft-focus: The cheerleading coach at the charter school founded by Andre Agassi was busted in an undercover prostitution sting....
Hog Kid Gets Swiftboated ... We Suppose It Was Inevitable
The legend of Hogzilla II ... was it all a hoax? Did 11-year-old Jamison Stone really down a 1,000-pound feral pig in the Alabama woods, or was he home watching The Andy Griffith Show that day? As a couple of commenters pointed out yesterday, the size of said pig may have been via Photoshop. And in ...
Malibu Was Healed By Mother Nature
If you haven't had the opportunity to revel in the "American Gladiators" reruns on ESPN Classic — truly the greatest programming currently airing on the vast family of networks — we can't recommend them enough. Just Call Me Juice discovered this little piece of genius, which is the least you can exp...
A Day's Worth Of ESPN Classic
Now that ESPN Classic no longer shows "original" programming like "Classic Now" or "Cheap Seats," the channel is supposedly back to its roots of showing historic sporting events ... you know, the reason the channel existed in the first place....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as a urologist reveals how Smallville really got its name ... • Boxing: Lightweights, Zahir Raheem vs. Cristobal Cruz, at Tulsa. In this corner, wearing the red trunks, Bugs Bunny! [ESPN2] • MLB: Atlanta at Boston. Braves return to Boston. Babe Ruth approves. [TBS] • NBA: Eastern Confe...
What Will Be The Next Health-Oriented Ballpark Promotion?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Oh, For The Calming, Sophisticated Atmosphere Of The Fenway Bleachers
Look, we don't need to tell you how rowdy it can get in the stands at the Boston Pops. It's always the same old story: The lout in the seat in front of you is going on and on about how Yo Yo Ma is the greatest living cello player, while the guy in back of you, a fan of Finnish virtuoso Anssi Karttun...
Nothing's Scarier Than Texas High School Football
It's about that time of day when we remind you just how terrifying Texas high school football is. This is from Southlake Carroll High School near Dallas/Ft. Worth, where certain fans camped out all night just to pay $90 seat licenses (that doesn't even count the tickets) for four high school footbal...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you fortify your home against an invasion of our nation's "disappearing" bees ... • Boxing: Junior middleweights, Yory Boy Campas vs. Eromosele Albert, at Miami. Loser must kiss Don King on the lips. [ESPN2] • MLB: Philadelphia at Atlanta. We'd like to see Bobby Cox take another ste...
American Gladiators, You Have Been Missed
If you're struggling to find something to help pass the time before this evening's festival of basketball, I can't recommend ESPN Classic strongly enough right now. We're in the midst of a 7-episode American Gladiators marathon, starring Zap, Gemini, Malibu, Sunny, Joe Theismann, and a contestant na...