ass Page 299 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Terry Pettis And The Infinite Madness
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th) awful...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch with your new friend, Mr. Happy Toilet ... • Arena Football League: Chicago at Kansas City (8:30 p.m., ET). Here's hoping for plenty of air-time for the Brigade Girls. [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at Cleveland (7 p.m., ET). Hopefully it will be above 12 degrees. [ESPN] • NHL: Western Conferen...
The Beckham Men Enjoy Our Finest Athletes
• The Lakers still have a shot at catching the Hornets for the top spot in the Western Conference, and they came out playing like a team that wants homecourt advantage. LA outscored New Orleans 39-20 in the first quarter before the Hornets tenacious second half comeback. However, the Lakers perseve...
Stanley Cup Preview: The Fours Meet The Fives
NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski previews the 2008 Stanley Cup Finals right up until they drop what is commonly referred to as "the puck."...
Benny The Bull Will Put A Cap In Your Ass
When talking about illegal mascot shenanigans, no one, of course, beats the drunken exploits of the Stanford Tree. But running a close second is Benny the Bull, the only NBA mascot with a criminal record for battery on a police officer. On Tuesday he was at it again, shooting the Celtics' Kevin Garn...
Finally, Massholes Have Something to Celebrate
As we wait for the Final Four to finally kick off on Saturday, the gang at Storming the Floor are amusing themselves with the championship-like substance contained in the NIT and CBI post-season tournaments....
WWE Goes Nipple-Free
Wrestlemania XXIV is this Sunday ONLY. ON. PAY. PER. VIEW. and though there will be many bare chested (but totally hetero!) galoots offending the eyes with their useless male nipples while doing their sports entertainment thing, someone decided that just wouldn't be aboveboard to have them all out t...
Um, Maybe We Should Just Skip The Olympic Torch This Time
Well, that didn't take long. They were still flicking the cigarette lighter in preparation of lighting the Olympic Torch today in Greece when a protester crashed the ceremony, with what looks like a pirate flag. A rousing start on the 84-day journey in which the torch will pass through several locat...
Take a Picture, It'll Last Longer... Then Shred It
Be it in practice, on film, inside another man's house, or at an NIT basketball game, Bill Belichick can't help but take notice of some untapped potential. TMZ brings us this transcendent image from Florida's victory in the NIT last night. Clearly Nick Calathes' triple double wasn't the only to imp...
Frank Caliendo, Dish Network To Be Sued Back To The Stone Age?
Of course just about everyone loves Frank TV: Christians, Hindus, Muslims, Jews … our admiration for the voice stylings of Frank Caliendo is the only thing on which we can all agree.* Two notable exceptions, however, are John Madden and Charles Barkley, who do not take kindly to Caliendo using thei...
NCAA Pants Party: Southern California Vs. Kansas State
Southern California Trojans (21-11) vs. Kansas State Wildcats (20-11) When: Thursday Where: Omaha...
Massachusetts Minutemen
1. So THAT'S what she meant! While vacationing in Boston one summer, I met a lovely girl. After spending a week with her, she told me she loved the Minutemen. Unfortunately for me, I was the wrong kind of "minuteman." The University of Massachusetts mascot comes from the Revolutionary War era where ...
Kansas State Wildcats
1. Beas-who? One wonders how Kansas State University, a school that has lacked a dominance on the hardwood in recent years, manage to resurrect Jesus Christ himself in the form of a 6-foot-10, 235-forward from the Washington D.C. area. Well, Michael Beasley was coached by in an AAU summer league and...
Big Ten Pets Are Ready For March Madness/Snausages
Poor Cuddles. Ever since Kelvin Sampson left Indiana, he has refused to leave his bucket. And as the NCAA Tournament approaches, I think we can all identify ... obsessing over our own team's weaknesses; sitting as we are in our own metaphorical buckets of regret. Except that I'm wearing mine on my h...
About Last Night
What you missed while listing all the stuff that white people like ... • NBA: New Kids On The Block ... who are those guys? Cleveland 109, Memphis 89. • College basketball: On Wisconsin ... Badgers relax atop Big Ten standings. • NFL: The Vikings can get into trouble on dry land too....
About Last Night
What you missed while serving as a seat filler on Cleveland's bench... ...
If You Can't Play As The Vikings, Might As Well Ransack Like Them
Having just been alerted by the Mid-Atlantic Hockey League that their season was over at the halfway mark, the Jamestown Vikings decided that they were still vikings after all and proved as much by trashing the historic Viking Lodge in Jamestown, NY....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after deciding to skip Alien Vs. Rain Man ... • College basketball: Louisville at Connecticut (7 p.m., ET); Oklahoma State at Oklahoma (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; Cal Poly at Pacific (11 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]. ESPN in Stockton, CA. A first? • College basketball: College of Charleston Cougars at W...