ass Page 299 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Malibu Was Healed By Mother Nature
If you haven't had the opportunity to revel in the "American Gladiators" reruns on ESPN Classic — truly the greatest programming currently airing on the vast family of networks — we can't recommend them enough. Just Call Me Juice discovered this little piece of genius, which is the least you can exp...
A Day's Worth Of ESPN Classic
Now that ESPN Classic no longer shows "original" programming like "Classic Now" or "Cheap Seats," the channel is supposedly back to its roots of showing historic sporting events ... you know, the reason the channel existed in the first place....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as a urologist reveals how Smallville really got its name ... • Boxing: Lightweights, Zahir Raheem vs. Cristobal Cruz, at Tulsa. In this corner, wearing the red trunks, Bugs Bunny! [ESPN2] • MLB: Atlanta at Boston. Braves return to Boston. Babe Ruth approves. [TBS] • NBA: Eastern Confe...
What Will Be The Next Health-Oriented Ballpark Promotion?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Oh, For The Calming, Sophisticated Atmosphere Of The Fenway Bleachers
Look, we don't need to tell you how rowdy it can get in the stands at the Boston Pops. It's always the same old story: The lout in the seat in front of you is going on and on about how Yo Yo Ma is the greatest living cello player, while the guy in back of you, a fan of Finnish virtuoso Anssi Karttun...
Nothing's Scarier Than Texas High School Football
It's about that time of day when we remind you just how terrifying Texas high school football is. This is from Southlake Carroll High School near Dallas/Ft. Worth, where certain fans camped out all night just to pay $90 seat licenses (that doesn't even count the tickets) for four high school footbal...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you fortify your home against an invasion of our nation's "disappearing" bees ... • Boxing: Junior middleweights, Yory Boy Campas vs. Eromosele Albert, at Miami. Loser must kiss Don King on the lips. [ESPN2] • MLB: Philadelphia at Atlanta. We'd like to see Bobby Cox take another ste...
American Gladiators, You Have Been Missed
If you're struggling to find something to help pass the time before this evening's festival of basketball, I can't recommend ESPN Classic strongly enough right now. We're in the midst of a 7-episode American Gladiators marathon, starring Zap, Gemini, Malibu, Sunny, Joe Theismann, and a contestant na...
Land Of The Giants
One would think that a team with four seven-footers in the starting lineup wouldn't need a last-second shot to win. But this is the American Basketball Association, where the official rules more resemble Calvinball than anything. Why didn't someone inform us earlier that, in their finale against the...
Yo, Pass The Salt, Coach
Far be it from us to understate the importance of the NIT — no place is more dangerous than Crisler Arena in mid-March! — but during the Kansas State-DePaul game the other night, an injured Wildcat sat on the bench eating popcorn. Hey, nice seats if you can get 'em; pass my change back from the vend...
And Then The Woodpeckers Arrived, And Suddenly It Was All Over
It's the story you've heard so many times before: Your local university wants to expand its athletic facilities, but construction is thwarted because there are naked people living in the trees. Cal's plan to cut down a grove of oak trees on campus to build a $125 million athletic training center has...
Bad Dentist ... Bad, Bad Dentist
This man right here is Larry Rosenthal, and he's a dentist on Manhattan's Upper East Side neighborhood. He also lives in the building that the late Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle crashed his plane into last October. This so bothered him that he's suing the Lidle family for $7 million. Not the city: Lidl...
No, Really, Your Testimony Was Quite Pleasant
Sorry, all you CourtTV legal eagles desperate for a fixin' of Charlie Weis gastric bypass surgery malpractice goodness: The whole rigmarole has been declared a mistrial....
Jon Lieber Has A Big-Ass Truck
We'd like to note that Phillies pitcher Jon Lieber is a real man with a real man's truck....
Daulerio at SBXLI: Yes, Somehow Freddie Mitchell Got Into the Maxim Party
Maxim's Superbowl Shitshow party was everything one could hope for and so much more. The Sagamore Hotel transformed itself into a beachfront paradise with celebrities and athletes, and, of course FredEx and his Godly hands cavorting about the joint. Freddie Mitchell was attached to Irishman Brady Qu...
New ABA Coach Has Cleanest Rain Gutters In His Neighborhood
We love the Dodge City Legends' motion offense; the one in which their center sets picks at the top of the key. Because it's important to keep the tallest player in the history of organized basketball as far away from the basket as you can at all times. You've probably heard of Sun Ming Ming, a nati...
The NBA's Shame
I've been critical of David Stern and his obsessively fascist measures to cultivate a friendly, lilly-white non-threatening image for the NBA, but perhaps I was misguided on that....
ESPN Continues To Axe Things You Probably Don't Watch
First, Quite Frankly, and now this. ESPN Classic is ceasing to create and air original programming. Norby Williamson, ESPN's executive vice president, let the ESPN Classic people know on Friday that they were being reassigned. ESPN Classic will continue on as a network for the time being, sans origi...
Matt Hasselbeck Is Sexy, You See (YEAH!)
Last year, a Seattle radio station, attempting to, we dunno, inspire somebody or something, came up with "Sweet Shaun Alexander," an ear-bleeder set to the tune of "Sweet Home Alabama." (You know, because of the loggers.)...
Here's To All That Gorgeous Snatch in FLA
The headline is a quote from Slap Shot, which is both a hockey movie and the first thing I think of when anything hockey-related comes to my attention. The clip is a remarkable sequence from a Thursday night game where Patrik Stefan blew the equivalent of a 2-inch putt, and the commentator acted lik...