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The First Round Of MLS Playoffs Was Beautiful Chaos

Every single game of MLS’s opening weekend of playoffs was a glorious mess. There were six matchups in the first round, and five of the six ended in one-goal wins; the one exception finished 5–1, but only after one team scored four goals in an extra time that the other team had forced with a stoppag...

Aaron Donald Took Out Another Quarterback

For the second time this season, Aaron Donald’s habit of playing like the greatest defensive player of this generation has come at the cost of another team’s starting quarterback. Early in the third quarter on a third-and-10, Donald absolutely mugged Matt Ryan for a strip-sack. While doing so, he la...

Devonta Freeman Ejected For Punching Aaron Donald After Donald Hoisted Him Up Like A Child

Tensions boiled over in Atlanta this afternoon when the Rams and Falcons started fighting following a Matt Ryan interception. Aaron Donald and Takkarist McKinley were served with offsetting unsportsmanlike conduct penalties, and Falcons RB Devonta Freeman was tossed from the game after punching Dona...

Matt Bryant, You Poor Bastard

Even with their god-awful defense making Kliff Kingsbury look like the genius everyone used to pretend he was, the Falcons still found a way to build enough momentum to make it seem like a late victory over the Cardinals was possible—scoring 17 unanswered points to tie things up tends to have that e...

Cardinals Manager Mike Fucking Shildt Gets All Fucking Riled Up After Beating The Fucking Braves

After the Cardinals tore the Braves a new asshole in Wednesday’s series-clinching 13–1 Game 5 win, Cards manager Mike Shildt ripped them yet another poop valve in his triumphant, fuck-laden postgame talk in front of his team:...

Braves Fans Perform First-Inning Tomahawk Chop, Watch Their Team Immediately Melt Down Like Chernobyl

The Atlanta Braves selectively and cynically scrubbed the “tomahawk chop” celebration ahead of Wednesday’s Game 5 against the St. Louis Cardinals. This did not go far enough, as was evidenced by defiant Braves fans loudly performing the chop almost immediately after the start of the game. Moments la...

Braves Announce Plan To Only Use The Tomahawk Chop When A Native American Isn't Pitching

Hours before today’s winner-take-all NLDS Game 5, the Atlanta Braves responded to Cardinals reliever Ryan Helsley’s comments about the disrespectful nature of the team’s longstanding “tomahawk chop” celebration. In a somewhat surprising turn, the team said they would not pass out foam tomahawks to f...

Zion Williamson's First NBA Dunks Were Very, Very Good

Let’s quickly get out of the way that none of this means anything. The NBA’s regular season doesn’t start for another few weeks; any basketball these teams play before that is of zero consequence. OK, now: holy shit! Zion Williamson is a certified monster! After about a half-hour of careful inspecti...

Yadier Molina Flipped His Bat To The Moon After Game-Winning Sacrifice Fly

The St. Louis Cardinals evened up their NLDS series against the Atlanta Braves Monday night, on a 10th-inning sacrifice fly to left field to score Kolten Wong. It was Molina’s second big feat of batsmanship of the game, and he was super-duper pumped to have driven in the winning run. So pumped, in f...

Deshaun Watson Did The Cool Thing Again

Last week, when Deshaun Watson answered a thoughtful post-game question with a hyper-detailed breakdown of Carolina’s defense, there was some confusion over whether he was showing up the reporter. Now that Watson has given a similarly thorough answer to a question following his dominant performance ...

Braves Give The Lie To Rob Manfred's Insistence That The "Tomahawk Chop" Is Being Discouraged

The Atlanta Braves are supposed to be discouraging the “tomahawk chop” celebration at home games. Or, anyway, that’s what commissioner Rob Manfred told the Washington Post back in February, that the Braves had “taken steps to take out” the chant. But they’re not discouraging it, not really—the Brave...

Everyone Mad At Ronald Acuña Jr. Over Baserunning

The Cardinals are mad at Braves superstar Ronald Acuña Jr. for how he ran the bases in Game 1 Thursday night. You can probably guess, that’s some musty “play the right way” bullcrap. But it turns out Acuña’s own teammates are mad at him over a completely different baserunning issue, and when your te...

Cardinals Nearly Blow Game 1 Against The Braves, But Don't, Dammit

Game 1 of the NLDS between the Braves and the vile Cardinals did not represent the best that either team had to offer. There were slick plays and dingers, and there was some gutsy pitching, but there was also some sloppy defense, lots of glaringly bad luck, and some spectacularly crappy late-innings...

Braves Pitcher Injures Self While Warming Up On The Mound, Replacement Gives Up Dinger On First Strike [Update]

Before he got a chance to throw his first pitch of the postseason, Chris Martin of the Atlanta Braves was taken off the mound with an athletic trainer by his side just as the top of the eighth inning was officially about to begin. Martin appeared to injure himself during his initial warmup pitches, ...

Keanu Neal Penalized For Unsportsmanlike Conduct After Throwing Helmet In Injury-Related Frustration

Falcons safety Keanu Neal suffered a pretty bad injury to his leg just before halftime against the Colts on Saturday. That much became clear when he threw his helmet in frustration and was crying by the time the training staff got to him. While the pain certainly played a part in his emotional state...

Ronald Acuña's 40/40 Season Now Feels Inevitable

With his 39th home run and 35th and 36th stolen bases on Thursday night against the Phillies, Ronald Acuña put a historic bow on his season by becoming the youngest player to accomplish a 35-35 season in baseball history. While Acuña bashing dingers and swiping bases has come to feel routine this ye...

Ronald Acuña Jr. Robs Home Run, Immediately Turns It Into Inside-The-Park Home Run

You would think that robbing a home run at the wall comes down to getting a good jump, timing your leap, and having the insane hand-eye coordination to rip the ball out of the sky with your off hand, while crashing into a padded wall. Turns out that’s only most of it. As Ronald Acuña Jr. learned in ...

Francisco Cervelli Lands Flying Karate Kick On Base, Somehow Doesn't Get Hurt

Even relative to the brutal baseline of physical punishment that applies to big league catchers, Francisco Cervelli has been through a lot. When the Pittsburgh Pirates put him on release waivers last week, Cervelli was rehabilitating from what was at least the sixth concussion he’s suffered since 20...

By Banning Protest Signs, MLS Is Trying To Lobotomize The Fandom It Asked For

MLS and its clubs are currently embroiled in a fight against their own supporters over what the league claims are violations of its anti-politics rules. Over the last two weeks, multiple fans in multiple stadiums have been ejected for banners that run afoul of the league’s Fan Code of Conduct. There...