auburn Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tree-Poisoner Harvey Updyke Will Spend Six Months In Jail And Five Years On Probation

Harvey Updyke, the Alabama football fan that, in 2010, poisoned two oak trees that figure prominently in Auburn athletic traditions, and then essentially confessed to the act (a Class-C felony in Alabama) unbidden on Paul Finebaum's radio show, accepted a plea deal on Friday. While Updyke will get c...

Forbes's 2012 List Of The Most Valuable Teams In College Football Reads A Lot Like The 1936 AP Poll

Forbes's latest best guess at the most valuable college football programs is out, and if you're a Texas fan, congratulations: Your slavering devotion to the Death Star of the Big 12 has paid off once again. You're number one! Granted, you're in the "also receiving votes" category in the AP's poll of...

"Dese Coaches Run A Train On Arkansas State": A Player Ponders Gus Malzahn's Departure

We're almost reluctant to out a certain Don Jones II as a master of Twitter, because we all know that s̶t̶u̶d̶e̶n̶t̶s̶ athletes who exhibit true voice on social media scare the thin liquid shits out of university athletics officials. But what the hell....

Five-Star Recruit Decommits From Auburn University, Even Though He Got An Auburn Tattoo This Summer [UPDATE]

Linebacker Reuben Foster is the top high school prospect at his position, and one of the best in the country. This summer, he had already rescinded his verbal commitment to the University of Alabama and committed to Auburn University thanks to some recruiting by assistant coach Trooper Taylor—the e...

Gus Malzahn will be Auburn's head football coach. Let's all watch that crazypants interview his wife did last year....

Alabama Barely Beats Georgia For SEC Title, Right To Demolish Irish In National Title Game

Your national title game will be SEC semifinal champion Alabama against Notre Dame, which in a just alternate universe just got piss-pounded by Ohio State in the Big Ten title game and ceded its title game slot to Florida. In this universe, though, Notre Dame spent the afternoon licking its chops as...

Say This For Newly Former Arkansas Head Coach John L. Smith: He Screwed Only Himself, Never The Help

The University of Arkansas will not be renewing the contract of interim coach John L. Smith, the university announced today, confirming what everyone and his sister knew the minute then-No. 8 Arkansas lost in Little Rock to Louisiana-Monroe on Sept. 8. Smith's team cliff-dove out of the polls, then ...

Deshazor Everett's Name And His Interception To Beat Alabama Are Equally Fantastic

As subplots go, the Alabama-Texas A&M game had an unexpected one from the end of the first quarter through the tense final minute: an errant extra point. Up until the decisive few seconds, when a Bama penalty on an Aggies punt killed the dregs of game clock, there lingered the question of whether...

Auburn Has A Private Security Firm Enforcing Players' Nightly Curfews

College football players are men. They're at least 18, so they can vote, they can serve in the armed forces, they can smoke, and they can roam the streets of America until all hours, doing whatever it is college kids do, so long as they don't do anything illegal. But not at Auburn, where the program...

This Week's Signs Of The Apocalypse

For nearly two decades, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to cover the end of times but declines to cede the scoop on the biggest event in world history....

Gene Chizik's Wife Went A Little Crazy On Facebook Yesterday

It's been a rough year for Gene Chizik's Auburn team, but things are about to turn around in a big way if Chizik's wife has anything to say about it. Yesterday, Jonna Chizik took to Facebook and posted the following inspirational(?) screed:...

College ShameDay: Who Embarrassed Themselves On Saturday (Besides Auburn; Auburn Is Just The Worst)?

Our weekly college football shame index. ...

Auburn Wrests Title Of "Team Everyone Wants To Play" From Arkansas

Arkansas beat Auburn today, which in itself wouldn't be so strange except that as recently as this morning it was reasonable to ask whether Arkansas would ever win another game, ever, ever. The Hogs were a preseason top-10 team that lost f̶i̶v̶e̶ four games—in September. If someone was to cushion th...

Tree-Poisoner Harvey Updyke Is "Meaner Than Anyone In The World," Writes Little Girl

The trees at Auburn's Toomer's Corner: not doing so hot. "Aesthetically dead if not actually dead," the university said last week. (Still, they might be doing better than Harvey Updyke, who is living in his car in the woods as he awaits trial.) The oaks received a massive pruning earlier this month,...

Reports: Three Dead, Including Two Former Football Players, After Shooting At Auburn Off-Campus Party [UPDATE]

Details are still sketchy, but it appears a shooting took place at an Auburn University off-campus housing complex that is reportedly home to many Auburn athletes. The shooting took place at a party at the complex at some time around 9:30 p.m., according to police chief Tommy Dawson. A press confer...

Harvey Updyke, Alleged Tree Poisoner, Kicked Out Of Alabama Softball Game

Harvey Updyke, the man arrested for allegedly poisoning the sacred tree's at Auburn's Toomer's Corner, who may or may not still reside in his car in the woods, was kicked out of an SEC Softball tournament game by Alabama officials yesterday....

Gambling Expert Calls Action On Auburn Games "Inconsistent" With Point Shaving

Yesterday, Yahoo's Charles Robinson reported that suspended Auburn point guard Varez Ward was under federal investigation for alleged point-shaving. Robinson mentioned two games that the feds were looking into—a 56-53 loss to Arkansas on Jan. 25 and a 68-50 loss to Alabama on Feb. 7. In the Jan. 25 ...

Report: FBI Investigating Auburn Point Guard For Alleged Point-Shaving

Auburn point guard Varez Ward is under investigation by the FBI for alleged point-shaving, according to Charles Robinson at Yahoo. Ward, who was suspended by Auburn at the end of February for "violating team rules," may have conspired to rope other players into the alleged scheme, say Robinson's sou...

"Am I Sick? Are We All Sick?": Overwrought Things The Media Wrote To Auburn's PR Guy During Cam Newton's Wild 2010 Season

A few months ago, we asked Auburn for all correspondence between the media and the football team's spokesman, Kirk Sampson, during the Tigers' 2010 season. We weren't looking for anything specific; we only wanted to get a sense of what it's like on the inside when the press descends on one story—in ...

NCAA's "Cecil Newton Rule" Closes A Loophole That Should Have Been Closed 50 Years Ago

Did you know there was a big Cam Newton scandal? It's true! People were getting all mad about it and everything! I know we've all got short memories, and Newton's better known for being Tim Tebow, but black and good, but it was just 14 short months ago that the NCAA was rocked by reports that Newton...