australia Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

TV Host To Surfer Live On Air: "Stay The Fuck Away From My Girlfriend"
This happened last week on a music television show in Australia. That fellow who just got finished being interviewed is American surfer Kolohe Andino, who was in town for the Australian Open of surfing. The guy in the studio is named Danny Clayton, and he's here to prove that Australian TV hosts kee...

Old Man Tim Cahill Still Scoring Bonkers Goals Like This Bicycle Kick
The 35-year-old Tim Cahill is off playing with Australia in the Asian Cup they're currently hosting, and what better way to thrill the home fans than with a goal like this? Looks like Francesco Totti isn't the only ageless wonder out on these pitches....

Australian Open Ball Boy Takes 121-MPH Serve Straight To The Dong
Feliciano López was facing Adrian Mannarino in the Australian Open yesterday. López advanced when Mannarino succumbed to the heat in the fourth set. Good for López! Now let's talk about this dong shot. ...

Seagull Thrives After Getting Knocked Out During Cricket Match
The Perth Scorchers took on the Melbourne Stars in something called the Big Bash League yesterday, but more interestingly, a Scorchers batter nailed a seagull with a hit. It wasn't quite Randy Johnson demolishing a dove with a fastball—the damn thing didn't explode—but I'm sure it didn't feel go...

Fowler Falls For Fake Website, Makes Crazy Claims About Tennis Star
Tonight's Australian Open coverage on ESPN2 featured announcer Chris Fowler explaining to the audience that Japanese pro Kei Nishikori is, among other things, the highest-paid tennis player in the world and the owner of a restaurant chain, a soccer team, and clothing and perfume lines. None of tho...

Christina McHale Pukes All Over Australian Open Tennis Court, Still Wins
American tennis pro Christina McHale overcame several episodes of puking during the third set against France's Stephanie Foretz to win her Australian Open first round match today 6-4, 1-6, 12-10. It was a gutsy performance, one ESPN showed in all its slow-motion vomiting glory....

Dancing Hurdler Michelle Jenneke Is All Grown Up
It's been almost three years since the Internet discovered Michelle Jenneke. Then an 18-year-old Australian with a peculiar warm-up, she became the most famous fifth-place junior hurdler ever. ...

Rioting Costumed Fans Halt Australian Darts Competition
The Darts Invitational Challenge in Melbourne, Australia yesterday was interrupted by costumed, drunken fans throwing hundreds of plastic chairs in the seating area. The match between–I kid you not with these nicknames–top-ranked Michael "Might Mike" van Gerwen and home favorite Simon "The Wizard"...

Korean Legend Dae-Sung Koo Gets An Entertaining Ejection At 45
Pitcher Dae-Sung Koo was only in the MLB for 2005, but he had one memorable highlight that season when he scorched a double off Randy Johnson. (It was a neat moment.) Now 45 and a legend in Korean baseball, Koo pitches for the Australian Baseball League's Sydney Blue Sox, and though Sunday's ejectio...

Australia To Stop Using Flamethrowers After Almost Flambéeing Cricketer
Cricket Australia will no longer set off flamethrowers at its matches after nearly burning its own captain to a crisp as he attempted to retrieve a ball past the boundary line....

Josh Childress Smashes Opponent's Face With Vicious Flying Elbow
Former NBA swingman Josh Childress is still playing professional ball in Australia, and that's bad news for Australian dudes who think they can lay a hard pick on Childress and not catch an elbow to the face for their trouble....

Rugby League Superstar Quits To Pursue NFL Dream
Jarryd Hayne is one of the very best rugby league players in Australia. He was just awarded the Dally M Medal, given to the "best and fairest" in the Australian National Rugby League, for the second time in his career. The Parramatta Eels fullback is one of the highest paid players in the NRL, makin...
![Rugby Fan Celebrates Title By Swinging His Dong Around On TV [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/pegpvqmxy8d7iqau5cun.gif)
Rugby Fan Celebrates Title By Swinging His Dong Around On TV [NSFW]
The South Sydney Rabbitohs won their first National Rugby League Grand Final in 43 years, and their fans were quite happy. One guy celebrated by taking off his pants with the quickness, and waving his dick around in the background of a live Channel Nine Australia broadcast....
![Model Strips Naked, Fights Cops At Aussie Rules Grand Final [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/qv5rmf0hdny5sldmb2al.jpg)
Model Strips Naked, Fights Cops At Aussie Rules Grand Final [NSFW]
The lady you see above is a Scottish model named Heather McCartney. That's her being escorted out of Saturday's Australian Football League Grand Final, essentially the sport's Super Bowl. She was kicked out of the stadium because, while watching the game from a corporate box, she decided to get supe...

Patty Mills And Aron Baynes Invade Live Shot, Get Shoved Away
Patty Mills and Aron Baynes are reigning NBA champions, and they have the Larry O'Brien Trophy back home in Australia where they are, apparently, just carrying it around....

Rugby Team Cuts Player For Photo Of Him Pissing Into His Own Mouth
An Australian rugby league team released one of its players today after a photo surfaced that appears to show him pissing into his own mouth....

David Villa Breaking Down Is The Perfect, Saddest End To Spain's Dynasty
I'll admit it: I kind of love Spain. There was a time—weeks ago!—when they were considered the best team in the world, who had multiple, super long periods where they never lost to anyone for any reason and played a brand of soccer that wasn't just the best but was the culmination of all the best th...

Your Netherlands-Chile And Australia-Spain Open Thread
It's getting kind of hectic starting today, with four games a day, two at a time for the rest of the group stage. Thanks, Germany. Here's your place to talk about the early games....

What Tim Cahill's Wondergoal Sounded Like In Australia
Australia's national broadcaster SBS gave us a treat yesterday: an inset of announcer Craig Foster going nuts on Tim Cahill's outstanding equalizer against Netherlands yesterday. Australia had a lot to cheer for at the moment, but so did Chile and the other countries who scored goals on Wednesday. H...

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