aw Page 216 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Clemson Scores Fat Guy Touchdown For Second Consecutive Week
Louisville’s football program is in utter disarray as their scumbag head coach continues to torpedo the team into nationally-televised embarrassments like today’s 77-16 loss to Clemson. But none of that matters because CLEMSON SCORED ANOTHER FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN, BABY!...
The Winter Of Mega-Stars Unexpectedly But Heart-Warmingly Staying With Their Original Teams Begins With Clayton Kershaw Re-Signing With The Dodgers
Clayton Kershaw’s velocity may be trending in the wrong direction, but he’s still a damn ace, and as such he was considered one of the huge targets in what many have expected to be a landscape-altering winter of baseball mega-stars chasing the free-agency big bucks to new towns and new teams. Not so...
Former Cavs Assistant Jim Boylan Files Age Discrimination Lawsuit
Former Cleveland Cavaliers assistant coach Jim Boylan, who had been with the team from 2013 until this past offseason, filed a lawsuit in Cuyahoga County court today alleging age discrimination against his former team....
Oh Man, De'Aaron Fox Is So Much Fun
De’Aaron Fox spent his Thursday night leading the plucky Kings to a dominant road win in Atlanta. I do not expect you to take that very seriously! There are data points you mark in the The Kings Might Be Good column—a 6–3 record; road wins over the Thunder and Heat; a five-game winning streak; offen...
Give Derrick Rose The Comeback Treatment He Deserves
Last night, Minnesota Timberwolves point guard Derrick Rose managed to put together likely the flukiest game of his career, scoring 50 points en route to a win over the Utah Jazz, after which he was immediately and widely praised for never giving up after all he’s been through. So what’s he been thr...
Life Must Go On During A Military Occupation
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....
The Browns Are Being The Browns
Happy Halloween from Emergency Football Show Weekly! This week Dom and I discuss the Browns’ coaching changes, why morning NFL games are so great (Dom—and West Coasters—may disagree), Michael Dickson’s fourth-down run and Todd Gurley’s decision to go down before scoring a touchdown. Enjoy!...
Kawhi Leonard Pestered Ben Simmons Into The Bad Kind Of Triple-Double
Ben Simmons, who can’t shoot worth shit, had the bad kind of triple-double Tuesday night, registering 11 turnovers against 11 points and 10 assists. This isn’t an especially rare feat in the NBA—Basketball Reference says it has happened 81 other times since 1977—although Simmons’s 21 combined points...
Iowa's Mascot Got Rocked In The Beans By An Errant Pass
Saturday’s visit to Penn State started a lot better than it finished for the Iowa Hawkeyes. It ended with a 30-24 defeat and a stumble back into the pack in the Big Ten West standings, but it started with a first quarter that featured a blocked punt that became a safety, a fantastic touchdown pass t...
The Goddamn Red Sox Won The Goddamn World Series
The Boston Red Sox beat the Los Angeles Dodgers 5-1 in Game 5 of the World Series, making them world champions for the fourth time this century. This is piss....
Seahawks Ice Game With Punter’s Ballsy Fourth Down Run
The Seattle Seahawks called a unique play to ice the game against the Detroit Lions today: A nine-yard run by the punter from his own end zone on fourth and 8....
Seahawks Do Impressive “Batter Charges The Mound” Touchdown Celebration
Russell Wilson hit Ed Dickson for a touchdown to extend the Seahawks’ lead over the Lions late in the second quarter. It was a nice throw and catch....
Hawks Owner Tony Ressler: I Was A Big Dumb Idiot But Now I'm All Better
Tony Ressler bought the Atlanta Hawks in 2015 for a reported $850 million. The Hawks wrapped up a 60-win season that year, and made the Eastern Conference Finals. In the time that he has owned the team they’ve won fewer games each year, bottoming out last season with a 24-win tank fest, and they fig...
There’s Gonna Be A Live Deadcast Party In Nashville And Y’all Are Invited!
NASHVILLE! MUSIC CITY! THE ATHENS OF THE SOUTH! HOTCHICKENTOWN! VANDYLAND! CUTLERVILLE! Y’ALLBANY! Nashville, we have never visited your fair city, but that shit is about to change, because we’re gonna do a live show and football watch party down there on November 5th! YEEEEEEEEEEHAW! YEE TO THE HAW...
Report: The Broncos' Ownership Situation Is Getting Messy
Control of the Broncos organization was passed to a trust in 2014, when Annabel Bowlen announced that her husband, team owner Pat Bowlen, was too diminished by Alzheimer’s disease for him to continue running the team. The Broncos won the Super Bowl the following season, but the years since have been...
Oh Yeah, Duh, Kawhi Leonard Is Still The Shit
There were plenty of reasons to be skeptical that Kawhi Leonard would show up in Toronto and immediately resume life as a superduperstar. He hadn’t really played hoops in a year, the severity of his quad injury was a matter of quantum uncertainty, and all signs before the fateful trade last summer p...
All Three Defendants In College Basketball Corruption Trial Found Guilty
This afternoon, a jury ruled that former Adidas consultant Merl Code, Adidas employee James Gatto, and former financial adviser Christian Dawkins were guilty of a series of wire fraud charges stemming from their work orchestrating schemes to pay Adidas money to college basketball players in order to...
Police: Ex-Boyfriend Shot Dead Utah Track Athlete, Then Killed Himself
University of Utah track and field athlete Lauren McCluskey was found shot dead Monday night in the backseat of a vehicle outside a campus dormitory, according to university police. The suspected shooter was 37-year-old Melvin Rowland, a man McCluskey’s family said she had recently stopped dating. R...
Roman Reigns Announces Leukemia Diagnosis On WWE Raw, Relinquishes Universal Championship
WWE Universal Champion Roman Reigns announced to a stunned Monday Night Raw audience that he’s been battling leukemia for 11 years, and that due to the cancer’s return he will be relinquishing his belt, effective immediately:...
Don't Miss The Kemba Walker Show
A surefire way of embarrassing yourself is by saying anything optimistic-sounding about the Charlotte Hornets based on something they do in the first month of an NBA season. They finished each of the last two seasons with 36 wins, and their biggest roster upgrade headed into this season involved jet...