aw Page 458 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Elijah Dukes Might Have Some Lady Issues
Just in time for the SHOTY Quarterfinals, our old pal Elijah Dukes is at it again. The guy just can't help himself; his fingers just tap threatening text messages as if they have a mind of their own....
It's Close To Midnight And Hichori Morimoto Is Lurking In The Dark
Here is Hichori Morimoto of the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters accepting his Japanese Pacific League Golden Glove award. (Umm... back row, second from the left.) Just a word from the wise, Morimoto: Maybe stick to the performance art stilts and Martian or Conehead costumes. They're much less racisty,...
Last Chance To Buy Outdated T-Shirt
Anyone who has been annoyed — read: us — by the odd advertisements for Gawker Media T-shirts over the last month is in luck: The Gawker Shop is closing down, and you won't be bothered again. This also means this is your last chance to buy that "You're With Me, Leather" T-shirt before it vanishes for...
Lawyer Milloy Is A Demon With The Red Pen
New Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino wrote this nice little letter to his team after bolting on them in the middle of the season. (Wisely, but still.) Falcons cornerback Lawyer Milloy was eager to add his own addendum....
Former Fresno State Coach Is Rich...Pending Appeal
Stacy Johnson-Klein made a decent living as the women's basketball coach at Fresno State University. When she became the victim of sexual harassment and gender discrimination before eventually being fired she became a very wealthy woman....
Lute Olson Extends Leave, Files For Divorce
Arizona's basketball team is playing in Champaign Chicago right now without head coach, and that's something they'll have to get used to. Responding to mounting pressure from the media and within his own program Lute Olson announced that he won't return to the team this season, and now we know why....
Mark Mangino Makes A New Friend
You had been wondering why the Orange Bowl chose Kansas over Missouri. Now you know....
Which Sports-Related Person Would Engage In A 2Girls1Cup-Type Video?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday ... well, that next five Fridays, anyway. Yes, after more than a year of goodness, Mr. Daulerio is retiring the Cultural Oddsmaker column at the beginning of 2008. There are now FIVE left. Email him to let him know how much you'll miss him....
He Seems To Have Thought Of Everything: How In The World Did This Not Work?
So this guy robs a bank, and during his getaway he stops at a salon about a block away for hair extensions and a manicure (by now you've guessed that this occurred in Florida). But that's not the best part. The loot he stole was booby trapped, and during his escape it exploded, covering him in red d...
The Armadillo Cowboy, Know Thy Name
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or throwing out pork chops, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
Barry Bonds Could Really Use Johnnie Cochran Right About Now
Considering the charges against him — and the public opinion forces, going all the way up to President bush — one would think Barry Bonds' legal team would be coming together and preparing a fierce, scorched earth strategy to take down what are arguably pumped-up charges. One would be wrong....
Some End-Of-Day Love For The Rainbows
In the most bizarre, bewildering, ultimately disappointing — we'd much rather see Missouri vs. West Virginia in the title game than Ohio State vs. LSU; we admit it — there's only one team that has done nothing but provide unadulterated joy to its fans all season long: The Hawaii Rainbows. (Or Rainbo...
All Canada, All The Time
We are proud to welcome famed hockey journalist James Mirtle to the post of NHL Closer writer this week....
High School Chess Team Cheats En Passant
Today's high school student-athletes face so many more distractions than yesteryear, even at the high school level: national media scrutiny, drugs, and pretty girls. Not so with chess players (such as the one pictured here — I believe this is a young Keith Olbermann) although they have it tough as w...
Even For The NHL, Byfuglien Is An Odd Name
• I'd Like To See Where These Hats You Speak Of Grow In Nature. By the time Dustin Byfuglien's reign of terror began over Phoenix, it was already 2-0 Blackhawks. And that's when his hat trick on consecutive goals occurred — in the first quarter. It was only 5-0 after one trimester, and the Hawks had...
A Trade That's Just Crazy Enough To Work!
The baseball winter meetings start next week, and that means countless unsubstantiated guesswork and fantasy trade scenarios. That's the fun of it, really; it will distract you from the horror that comes when your team gives $12 million for four years to Kyle Lohse....
Border War: The Day After
Tennessee wins the SEC East with a 52-50, four-OT thrilla over Kentucky. Good. West Virginia secures a BCS spot, electrocuting the Huskies. Fantastic. The Hokies down Virginia 33-21 for the ACC Coastal crown. Put it in on the mantle. No. 10 Oklahoma pounds Oklahoma St. Who cares? UCLA, Iron Bowl, Te...
Mangino Vs. A Tiger: Who Ya Got?
Bust out the marbles! Tonight it's the unbeaten No. 2 Kansas Jayhawks against the once-beaten No. 3 Missouri Tigers. Can this wild and zany college football season get any crazier? (Answer: Yes.)...