bad Page 21 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Baltimore Orioles Have Been Even Worse Than They Look
In 2005, the Baltimore Orioles shocked the world with a 42-28 start, good enough to keep them in first place in the AL East into mid-summer. This was before Rafael Palmeiro, fresh off his 3000th hit, lied to Congress and tested positive for steroids; before ostensible ace Sidney Ponson was arrested ...

Bad Soccer Men Try And Thankfully Fail To Beat The Hell Out Of Referee
A soccer match from earlier this month between Indonesian clubs Persegres Gresik United and Persiwa Wamena exploded into chaos when a few players who took issue with a controversial penalty call sought to communicate their dissatisfaction to the ref by beating his ass:...

Conservative D.C. Is A Bunch Of Weird-As-Hell Nationals Fans
There’s no reason to know who Ben Hobbs is. He’s one of the anonymous ideology droids that fill Washington D.C.’s less-interesting condominiums, pad out its cocktail parties, and ensure that its steakhouse banquettes never get cold. When Republicans are in power, he will work in government; when the...

Jose Abreu's Had A Run Of Bad Luck With His Groin Area
White Sox first baseman José Abreu will miss his team’s upcoming series with the Indians, as he was hospitalized and treated for “an ingrown hair infection in his right thigh.” That’s disconcerting and gross enough on its own, but when combined with the fact that Abreu just underwent surgery for a “...
![A Bullshit Penalty Let The Vikings Tie The Packers [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/cjsfxubowdd5gqxjfgy1.gif)
A Bullshit Penalty Let The Vikings Tie The Packers [Update]
The NFL’s absolutely terrible and impossible new definition of roughing the passer—which prohibits defensive players from landing on quarterbacks with their body weight—came into play during today’s Vikings-Packers game and directly affected the outcome. In what eventually became a 29-29 tie (don’t ...

This Fucking Fireman Ed Is Back, Again
Fireman Ed announced his “retirement” from, uhh, attending Jets games in a helmet and teaching Jets fans how to spell a one-syllable word back in 2012. He’s made appearances since then, but only do to heroic things like pass the torch to a younger generation of people who loudly spell a word at foot...

The Hater’s Guide To Your Dog
I have a dog, and it’s a pain in the ass. The dog never goes out in the rain. He won’t leave his bed unless my wife lures him out with cheese, and it HAS to be her, otherwise he gets bitey. He sits on top of the chair all day and does NOTHING. When I walk him, he’ll lay down right in the fucking str...

Wisconsin's Quintez Cephus Will Stand Trial For Sexual Assault While Teammate Returns To The Field
Wisconsin wide receiver Quintez Cephus will stand trial for sexual assault while teammate and roommate Danny Davis will not face any charges. The charges stemmed from a criminal complaint filed in late August that stated Cephus sexually assaulted two women as Davis took photos....

Report: Florida High School Football Coach Accused Of Head-Butting And Blowing Snot-Rockets On Players, Telling One To Kill Himself
This is a crazy story, first reported by the Palatka Daily News, in Florida: Randell Gene Owens, a former assistant football coach and physical education teacher at Palatka High School in Putnam County, is accused of, shit, just a whole wild catalogue of alarming abuses directed at his players....

Myles Garrett Falls Victim To NFL's Terrible New Roughing The Passer Rule
The NFL’s new roughing the passer rule is terrible and insane, penalizing otherwise normal football plays by prohibiting defensive players from landing on a quarterback with their body weight—which is extremely difficult if not impossible to do sometimes. In true Cleveland Browns fashion, they were ...

This New Sack Rule Is Going To Drive Me Insane
The NFL’s confusing new helmet rule drew plenty of deserved attention and criticism during the preseason, but for all the plays and games it is going to muddy up, it is not the worst rule change implemented by the NFL this season. That honor belongs to the rule that heavily penalizes defensive playe...

Brandeis Cleans House After Investigation Into Basketball Coaching Abuse
After four months, the external investigative team hired to look into multiple accounts of coaching abuse at Brandeis University determined that former men’s basketball head coach Brian Meehan’s abusive behavior did indeed go on unimpeded by athletic department and university leadership for years, a...

So I Guess We're Blaming The Buffalo Bills For Acts Of Domestic Terrorism?
The premise of this breathtakingly insane Politico article really is—swear to God—that Timothy McVeigh blew up the Alfred P. Murrah building in Oklahoma City because the Buffalo Bills couldn’t win a Super Bowl. The author attempts to say otherwise, but he also says this:...

The Hater's Guide To The College Football Top 25
College football, the looser and more fun but also worse version of football played by younger and less well-compensated people than those in the NFL, is back baby. Or maybe is already back? Anyway the timing is complicated, because while the good stuff gets going this weekend, college football’s la...

The NBA's Crappy One-And-Done Rule Is One Big Step Closer To Death
The NBA is steadily laying the foundation for the end of the rule requiring basketball prospects to wait a year after graduating from high school before declaring for the NBA Draft. Adam Silver has been making noise about this for a while, and Condoleezza Rice’s otherwise useless commission recommen...

Butthead Knicks "Fan" Has Just The Dumbest Reason For Selling His Fandom On eBay
Warning: If you read what is on the other side of this link, soon you will want to do murder, and possibly even self murder. It’s an Ian Begley story about an attention-hungry millennial doofus who sold his NBA fandom to an even more desperately attention-hungry millennial doofus for an irritatingly...

Jerry Jones Thinks You're Stupid Enough To Believe An 18-Game Season Would Be "Better For Players"
Roger Goodell and the NFL owners have been agitating for an expanded regular season for a number of years now. Back in 2010, Patriots owner Bob Kraft called the idea of an 18-game season “a win-win all around,” and Goodell said, “There’s a tremendous amount of momentum for it. We think it’s the righ...

Barcelona Played A Game On One Of The Worst Pitches You'll Ever See
Barcelona played Real Valladolid on Saturday in a match remarkable not for any brilliant passages of play or spectacular goals, but instead for the atrocious state of Valladolid’s pitch, which looked more like a sand pit with a thin layer of grass sprinkled on top than a field of play befitting some...

Hustlin'-Ass Cardinals Plate Two On Two-Out Infield Chopper
It sickens me to acknowledge this, but the dreaded Cardinals made a very cool play in today’s game in Colorado. They loaded the bases with two down in the top of the first inning against Rockies starter Tyler Anderson, with Austin Gomber at the plate, and the speedy young Harrison Bader at second ba...

Kiko Alonso Makes Important Third-Down Tackle, Promptly Runs To The Wrong Sideline
Late in the first quarter of Saturday’s Dolphins-Ravens preseason tilt, Dolphins linebacker Kiko Alonso brought down Maxx Williams on a short completion on third-and-17, forcing the Ravens to bring on their field goal unit. Alonso kind of rolled off of Williams, then trotted over to the sideline. Th...