ball Page 1600 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Conference Realignment Will Tear Us All Apart
We're on the verge of the biggest conference realignment in the history of college sports, but if it happens ... will it still be college sports? Or just pro football that happens to take place near schools?...
And Now Your Zen-Like Moment From Will Leitch's Wedding Weekend
This horrifying exhibition of dance moves to "Cupid Shuffle" was perpetrated by Emeritus at his post-rehearsal dinner fete and not at Blogs With Balls. Even the whitest of rhythmless white people might find this unsettling....
Albert Pujols Hits Kid, Makes Him Cry
During the sixth inning of last night's Cardinals game, Albert Pujols shot a laser into the centerfield bleachers, striking a young child in the chest. What say you now, Bissinger? [Riverfront Times]...
Fans Bring Greek Basketball Finals To A Violent, Pyrotechnic End (UPDATE)
In Game 4 of the Greek A-1 League finals between Olympiakos and Panathinaikos, referees declared Panathinaikos the winner after Olympiakos fans interrupted the game by shooting a flare at the Panathinaikos team and staff. Holy shitkos....
Survival Of The Fastest At Citi Field, As Man Robs Kid Of Foul Ball
We're finding it hard not to sympathize with the guy on this one, because we've never caught a ball of our own. Still, we're always up for a public shaming....
The Hidden Menace That Is The Scrotal Hydrocele
I went to the doctor a while back because I thought I had a hernia. It turned out I had something far less serious, and yet somehow far more horrifying....
Rotten Potato Edition! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Minor Leaguer Incites Bench-Clearing Brawl In Middle Of Home Run Trot
The website that tracks the slowest HR trots may have found a new record that might never be broken. It is definitely much harder to finish your stroll around the bases when you're being attacked by the other team....
Today In "Bryce Harper Is A No-Good Hothead"
Bryce Harper is good at baseball and he knows it. He has a reputation as a bit of a whippersnapper, though, and after getting ejected last night for making a gesture at an ump, that rep will continue to grow....
Coach Loses World Series Ring After "Messing Around" With Two Women Of Ill Repute
Pat Daneker, pitching coach of the Staten Island Yankees, lost the ring, a team-issued cell phone, and the contents of his wallet after an alcohol-fueled evening with two women in Tampa. It's the Yankee way....
The Funbag Demands You Respect The King Of Salad Dressings
I went to the dentist today to get a cleaning. And man, if there's anything that tickles worse than when the hygienist hits the roof of your mouth with that fucking polisher, I don't wanna find out what it is. When I die and am sentenced to Hell, they're gonna send me to Satan's tickling room, and t...
Goalie Booms 80-Yard Free Kick, Scores Goal
For your viewing pleasure, we present Lassi Hurskainen, a former UNC Asheville soccer player currently toiling in the Finnish minor leagues for division-leading Riverball FC, absolutely nailing the indirect free kick and catching his counterpart absurdly off-guard. [Goal; H/T Kenny]...
Won't Some NBA Team Please Draft This Short, Slow Filipino Basketball Player?
That's Chris Tiu, a popular basketball player in the Philippines. He has lots of fans who think some NBA team should draft him in the second round. One caveat: "At 5'11" he won't beat you with speed." [Draft Chris Tiu]...
Blood Writes: This Man's Pinky Is Falling Off His Hand
This was a friend's pinky after sliding headfirst and hooking it on 3rd base. Sorry about the clarity, but that's about as clear as I want it to b — Matt W....
Blood Writes: Man Slides Into Third And Winds Up Wearing A Maxi Pad
Throughout Blood Week, we'll be featuring gruesome submissions from readers. Like this one from Brad about a softball game gone very wrong. Moderately disgusting leg injury after the jump....
The Key To Beating Any Company Weed Test? JUST ADD WATER.
No time for tiddlywinks. I have to look into renting out some sort of dungeon or kennel for my four-year-old. Let's go right to your letters:...
A Paean To The Playground Hoop
More info than you ever realized you needed on New York's unique blacktop rim, which gave birth to Stephon Marbury, Rafer Alston and Sebby Telfair — and explains, via Science(!), why they can't shoot for shit. [NY Times]...
Vicente Padilla Is Possibly In Trouble For Something
And when Vicente Padilla is in trouble for something, it's usually a dramatic something. First guess? He threw at the head of a Denver Ritz Carlton hotel guest. [VinScullyIsMyHomeBoy]...
Cockblocked By Fire Ants! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Watch The Citadel And Elon University Baseball Teams Pound Each Other Mercilessly
Last night, Dash clued you in to the epic brawl between The Citadel and Elon's baseball teams. Here's the video for all of you that were too lazy to click a link. Tuck in that shirt while you're at it....