ball Page 1622 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lovelorn Baseball Player Turns To Dear Abby
Unlucky in sport and in love, one lifelong minor leaguer went to the famous advice columnist for help. While she tries her best, I'm sure we can do better....

Today In The Deadspin Society Pages: The McCoy-Glandorf Engagement
Need to make your woman realize you're not as successful or talented as Colt McCoy? Or that your proposal was inferior by comparison, her ring a dingleberry on the ass of Rachel Glandorf's? You've come to the right place....

Pennsylvania High School Fans Are Passionate, Racist
Two stories from Keystone State preps: a wrestling crowd who taunted a black opponent by wearing black bodypaint, and a school that had spectators banned from their home and away games....

Connecting The Two Greatest Tragedies Of The Young Decade
A Knoxville store is looking to send unwanted Lane Kiffin shirts to Haiti. Wait, they sold coach-branded merchandise? And you people bought it? You deserve everything you get (UT, not Port-Au-Prince). [Tennessean]...

Tebow The Cat Survives Miraculous Journey, Won't Shut Up About It
A Hawkeye fan on the way back from the Orange Bowl finds a stray cat stowed away underneath his pickup truck. "We named her Tebow, because she's a crier." [Cedar Rapids Gazette]...

Layla Kiffin Will Become New Head Coach's Wife At USC
Unreal. After all his distracting, rule-bending bravado in one year at Tennessee, Lane Kiffin has, according to multiple outlets, signed on to replace Pete Carroll at USC. In addition to his wife, Kiffin's also bringing dad to Southern Cal....

Go For The Thighs. Your Open Mailbag Tuesday
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering skyjerking, thighs, world capitals, cereal, tacos and more....

Rutgers Basketball Is Frying Up A "Steak Of Turmoil"
Former Scarlet Knight J.R. Inman played three years for Rutgers coach Fred Hill, but recently published a long Facebook diatribe where he advocated a strong pro-"punching Fred Hill in the face" stance. Why so much hate?...

Rick Majerus: Serial Child Squasher
Last week, we ran a post that exposed SLU head basketball coach Rick Majerus as someone who enjoys shitting on towels and sitting on campers. Here are MORE stories of Majerus', uh, largesse....

The Jayhawks' New Game Plan Is Undefendable (Too Bad They Didn't Use It Today)
Looking for a way around the half-court press, practicing Kansas players jacked up a half-court shot. Then another. Then another. And so on and so forth....

Selig Wants To Outsource Championships Now
A "global World Series," besides being redundant, is Bud Selig's latest bright idea to grow the game worldwide. It will also make us look bad....

Alabama Celebrates As Only Alabama Can (Updates)
With the Coaches' Trophy on display at Tuscaloosa Walmarts, we're awash in photos of Alabama goobers posing with a crystal egg in front of Dr Pepper pyramids. Send us any more you can find, and we'll add to our gallery....

Tommy Tuberville Gets The Keys To The Texas Tech Shed
Tuberville, late of Auburn, is Mike Leach's replacement at Texas Tech, according to Ivan Maisel's sewing circle. A press conference is scheduled for tomorrow. [ESPN]...

Your College Hoops Open Thread
UConn-G'Town, Purdue-Wisconsin, Duke-Georgia Tech, Georgia-John Wall, NJIT-Yale, Jeff Jordan's left hand-Indiana. Discuss....

Seahawks Shack Up With Pete Carroll As If He Were A Grad Student Living In Malibu
Pete Carroll has come to terms with Seattle, according to the stuffed animals at Adam Schefter's tea party. He'll be introduced just as soon as the Seahawks find a minority in whom to feign interest. [ESPN]...

So You Think NU Can Dance, Week 2: Lurch Dunks On Our Heads
A weekly feature in which author Benoit Denizet-Lewis follows the fortunes of the only BCS school to have sucked so consistently and spectacularly that it has never made the NCAA tournament, Northwestern. Current record: 11-3. Tournament prospects: Goodish....

Introducing Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
I once had a friend named Mark (not his real name) who was trying to have sex with a girl while he was blind drunk. He did not end up succeeding. Here is the short story of why....

Craig James Has Picked An Excellent Time To Get Into Politics
James, the ESPN analyst who has not yet pissed off the entire state of Texas, is apparently eyeing Kay Bailey Hutchison's seat in the Senate. Don't laugh. The man has plenty of experience appealing to the largess of wealthy donors....

USF Figuratively Punches Jim Leavitt In The Face
FanHouse reports that South Florida has fired slappy Jim Leavitt, the coach who allegedly grabbed a walk-on by the throat and hit him twice in the face. Somehow, this will be blamed on Adam James, too. [FanHouse]...

Last Night's Winner: Joyless Robot Prigs
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Nick Saban, recipient of history's unhappiest Gatorade bath, a coach who won a national championship but would probably fail a Turing test....