ball Page 1652 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Talk About Hope And Change In D.C.
There are people who care about reforming the Bowl Championship Series, and there are people who go homeless to reform the Bowl Championship Series. Guess which category Brandon Kennedy, author of "The Kennedy Proposal," belongs to....
Science Throws Little League A Curveball
Little Bobby throws a curveball and, soon, he whines about a sore elbow. He blames it on his fledgling 12-to-6, but Little Bobby is just craving sympathy. Hate the player, not the game, Bobbo. It's science....
Nate Montana Finds Better Football Situation Than Notre Dame
Joe Montana's son has seen Rudy. He knows how this works. First you go to junior college, THEN you try out for Notre Dame....
Hopefully The Wilpons Have Extra Chairs
Mets fans are sick and tired of being sick and tired. The team is playing like balls. They're gonna do something about it ... bug the executives!...
We Are Gathered Here Today To Take It To The House
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Your Weekend Throwgasm Breakdown: Ice Cream Cone Physics, Rain Delays, And Stinky Dongs
The week's ending. You need shit to do. Well, fear not. For I have compiled a list of worthy activities, media and/or ingestible chemicals to help you entertain yourself....
Steve Spurrier Apologizes For Not Genuflecting To The Tebow
SEC coaches and journalists spent maybe six hours of the conference's three-day media tugjob fretting over the vicious bastard who didn't pick Tim Tebow as No. 1 Super QB of the year. All because Steve Spurrier can't read....
Japanese Baseball Robots Already Elected To The Hall Of Fame
Japanese nerds have invented baseball-playing robots with talent far exceeding our own Major League all-stars and they don't require Gatorade or HGH. Well, I guess that's it. We had a great ride, humanity, but our time has passed....
Bingo The Bumbling Bee Bashes His Bee Balls
That's life for the Double-A Mets. First the VP of player development goes Fight Club on them. Now their tinpot mascot crotches itself during a failed home run celebration....
Cultural Oddsmaker: What’s The Next Great Sports Media Scandal?!
Usually, mid-to-late July is the absolute worst time to be a sports fan, unless you're some baseball-loving choirboy like Leitch....
One Mission Tim Tebow Won't Accomplish This Year
Thanks to Clay Travis' question, it's official: Tim Tebow is saving himself for marriage! That's splendid for Sports Illustrated, which will now recycle this cover for next week's issue. See? Even journalism is no match for Tim Tebow. [FanHouse]...
Jay Mariotti On Erin Andrews, AutoSummarized
"Why was the Internet ... giving semi-lives to people with no lives?" thunders Mariotti, who writes for the Internet. The column goes on in this vein for 1,500 words. Let's send this through Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize function, shall we?...
This Looks Like A Job For Rusty Kuntz
Padres' AAA affiliate looking to move. Is the world ready for the Beaverton Beavers? [Oregonian]...
TebowGate Is Tearing The SEC Apart
Forget LeBron, forget Erin Andrews, the real sports mystery of our time is playing out in the SEC. Someone doesn't think Tim Tebow is the second coming. Don't worry, we'll sniff out the blasphemer....
CFL Lineman Sacks Purse Snatcher On Streets Of Edmonton
Because we all need to believe in the power of sport again, here's a story involving an athlete that has a happy ending. If reading about a thief get crunched by a professional football player makes you happy, that is....
Hooded Dicks Vs. Unhooded Penises
Via Jeffrey Goldberg, this is a story from the Sept. 1, 1926, edition of the Washington Post. No word on who won. Fun fact: The Povich you see there is Abe Povich, brother of Shirley, uncle of Maury. [Jeffrey Goldberg]...
GET HAMMERED! Tad Kubler Of The Hold Steady On The Deadcast
This week's Deadcast guest is Hold Steady guitarist Tad Kubler (Listen here, iTunes here.) DOUBLE WHISKY COKE NO ICE....
In This Case, The Zebra Is Not A Euphemism
A Pittsburg State football player will miss this season after a zebra bit him in the arm. Why was he near a zebra in Kansas? He was moving four of them to paint a fence. Damn zebras, man. [KC Star]...
The Agony Of Upkeep
There are many shitty things about growing old. But here's one of the shittiest: paying lots of money simply to maintain the shit you already have....
Okay, Perhaps Kellen Winslow Is A Soldier
We've all mocked Kellen Winslow in the past for grossly overestimating his own bravery. But perhaps it's time to reconsider, given that last year, he had his testicles sliced open....