ball Page 1718 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Official Communist Party Quick Travel Guide To The 2008 Beijing Olympics
Drew Magary's Balls Deep column runs every Thursday afternoon. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK....

Bartman Spurns $25k Autograph Offer
Putting a quick end to the will he or won't he autograph spectacle, Steve Bartman is not going to appear at the National Sports Collectors Convention in Rosemont, Illinois. Interestingly, Bartman issued the response through his friend Frank Murtha. Meaning that Bartman himself remains hidden away i...

Eastern Kentucky Wideout Faces Prison Time, Permanent Emasculation After Botched Shoplift
There might be a reasonable explanation for why Eastern Kentucky University wide receiver Davin Walker was shoplifting at Wal-Mart. Being a specialty player at a school like Eastern Kentucky (although Dan Patrick did play basketball there for two years) usually doesn't provide a livable income or ex...

Get Ready For British Humor Night With The West Michigan Whitecaps
Welcome to Minor Enterprise. But follow only if you are men of valor. For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a monster, a creature so foul and cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair ... therefore sweet knights if you may doubt your ...

Kansas Football Players Don't Think 'Our Coach is Phat' Shirts Are Funny
Ditto for 'Our Coach Beat Anorexia.' Kansas football players are so sensitive. They wouldn't last a day in the Iowa Athletic Department. Mark Mangino is svelte in their loving eyes....

Steve Bartman Offered $25k for a Single Autograph
Reclusive Cubs anti-christ Steve Bartman has incentive to come out into the light of day thanks to a $25k autograph offer from a sports collectors show. According to the Orlando Sentinel this would be the most ever paid to a living person for a single autograph. What exactly does Bartman need to do...

Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins Remix "Take Me Out To the Ballgame"
Ryan Howard and J-Roll- "Take me out to the ballgame" (Remix) [The Fightins']...

Tim Tebow Won't Do Playboy
The University of Florida wouldn't nominate Tebow for the Playboy All-American team because of his religious views. After UF turned in their initial nominations, Playboy actually telephoned to lobby for Tebow's inclusion. Florida stuck to their guns and Tim Tebow continued to be better than you or m...

Frank Beamer Knows How To Get Blacksburg Women Interested In Football
Approximately 500 women attended "Frank Beamer'sLadies Clinic" last Sunday, an event organized by Virginia Tech's head coach to inflict some of the local gals with a shot of Hokie pride and, according to Beamer, "get some of these ladies to talk a little football and say some things up in the stands...

University of Iowa Athletic Staff Conspired to Cover Up a Sexual Assault?
A fellow student-athlete at Iowa alleged she was sexually assaulted by two football players on October 14, 2007. Within 36 hours of the assault the victim reported the incident to the highest levels of the Iowa Athletic department. Including athletic director Gary Barta, head football coach Kirk Fer...

South Carolina Cockominiums Headed to Auction
Do you see what they've done there? They've combined condominium and cock. Which usually only happens on South Beach. Anyway, the condo craze came to Columbia, South Carolina and condo towers went up around the wasteland that is Williams-Brice Stadium. But it seems the real estate market is not as r...

Use DZNUTS: Your Scrotum Will Thank You
Oh what the hell, let's just call it balls day on Deadspin. Introducing dznuts, developed for competitive cyclists "to reduce and relieve chaffing, irritation, and protect fragile perineal skin from bacterial and fungal infections." It's got masterwort, so you know it's good....

Fear Factor In The Northwoods League
A collegiate summer baseball league team called the Madison Mallards was handing out free tickets on Thursday that included all-you-can-eat snack bar privileges; a pretty sweet deal, considering all you had to do to earn it was to eat a dead beetle. The Mallards offered the tickets to the first 250 ...

Dive Only Into Pools Of Which You Know The Depth
If you were wondering where Daric Barton was when Oakland was playing the Yankees this weekend (who of us wasn't?), well he wasn't playing because he got hurt during the All-Star break. The rookie first basemen has a lot to learn about how to dive into swimming pools....

Iowa's Defense Has Promising Speed
Iowa football, it's safe to say, finished the season on a bad note, losing to Western Michigan. So they went out and recruited like crazy, landing guys like South Dakota football star Riley Reiff, a defensive end. His quickness and explosion should impress the coaches, especially since this weekend ...

Joakim Soria's Nickname Is Blogger Tested, Mexican Approved
It's about time the Kansas City Royals got themselves a bona fide All-Star, after branding Ken Harvey and Mark Redman as such. Joakim Soria is the Royals' scintillating closer, saving 25 of 27 games and sporting a 0.72 WHIP. With stats like that, a guy needs a legendary nickname, and he's got it now...

Tom Emanski Is Rolling In His Grave
At a time when it looks like Manny Ramirez might be on his way out of Boston (again?), this moment surely can't help him. Get out your Highlights magazine back covers and count the number of things he does poorly:...

Man Loses Phillies-Brewers Bet and Goes Homeless For a Week
Two D.C. area men bet over which team would finish with more wins in 2007, the Phillies or the Brewers. The Phillies finished with more wins. As a result, Chris Jollay, a 36 year old Brewers fan, lost and lived as a homeless man for a week....

Drink Beer on the Islands? You're Supporting Hawai'i Athletics
If only all things in life were this easy. Now if they could figure out where this apostrophe in Hawai'i suddenly came from everything between me and the islands would be copacetic....

Your NFL Season Brownie Point Calculator
Drew Magary's Balls Deep column runs every Thursday afternoon. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK....