ball Page 1721 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Say Hello To A-Rod's New Friends
A pretty outstanding tidbit that was missed in all the madness yesterday: You remember when the Brewers ended up staying at the same hotel as a Furries convention? Well, that happened again this week, in Pittsburgh, and guess what team ended up in the Pittsburgh hotel this time?...

Meet Your New Editor(s)
We were really hoping that, here on our last day, we'd have the opportunity to announce our successor at this here site. It is our pleasure - after quite a bit of back-and-forth and more qualified applicants that we could have possibly imagined - to say, yes, this here site is going to be in fine ha...

The Western Michigan Whitecaps Will Restore Balance To The Universe
Welcome to Minor Enterprise. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy....

Look At Those Crazy Rays, And The Dead Fish
• Battered Fish. A 10-run inning? Wha? The Battle of Florida is not going well for the Marlins, as Tampa Bay enjoyed a 10-run, 14-batter, 32-minute fifth inning on its way to a 15-3 win. Carl Crawford had two homers and five RBI. Believe it or not, it wasn't a franchise record for the Rays, who once...

Shawn Chacon's Guide To Punching Your Boss In The Face
You know what baseball needs more of? Physical fistfights between general managers and players. Imagine the fisticuffs that would ensue between Jon Daniels and Milton Bradley. Jim Bowden and Elijah Dukes. Heavens, Theo Epstein and David Ortiz. We might buy a pay-per-view of that....

Jason Giambi Has Become A '70s Porn King
Jason Giambi has dyed his mustache. That made this happen. Heavens to Betsy....

SuperYid Youkilis Drubs The Hardly Punchless RedBirds
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...

J.P. Ricciardi Meets The Jerky Boys
OK, so, to bring you up to date:...

The Fantasy Impact Of Steven Jackson's Cleansed Colon
During yesterday's story about Rams running back Steven Jackson and his messy colon cleanse, I questioned the potential fantasy football impact such a procedure would have on the top five running back. Thankfully, some of the wise men from Yahoo!'s Fantasy Football think tank decided it was worthy ...

All Hail The Brilliance Of Zombie Kickball
Oh, but to be in Portland, Maine this weekend! We have found the next great American sport, and it will be celebrated this Sunday. Ladies and gentlehumans, we introduced you to ... Zombie Kickball....

Smack My Bitch Up: Major League Baseball's Continuing Domestic Abuse Problem
Today is the second anniversary of Phillies pitcher Brett Myers' post-wife beating game start. Philadelphia magazine writer Rich Rys examines the impact of that decision and how it's affected his career and what it says about Major League Baseball''s handling of domestic violence cases. He can be r...

The Best Bronze Medal Money Can Buy?
The U.S. Olympic basketball roster was announced on Monday, and looking it over I think that we've finally engineered a lineup that can beat Angora. USA! USA! Getting by Argentina and Lithuania may be more problematic. Anyway, you've got your Kobe Bryant, your LeBron James, your Dwyane Wade, your Ca...

The Cardinals Just May Have Changed The Game As We Know It
Dilemma: How to lug a cooler full of refreshing beverages to the bullpen each day without injuring certain medial collateral ligaments? Solution: The motorized cooler. Credit Cardinals' reliever Jason Isringhausen — who had to keep busy somehow while on the 15-day DL — with this upgrade of a regular...

The Politically Incorrect Cow
There's no way we're not seeing that cow in our nightmares. We had no idea he was so ... tall....

Welcome To The Battle Of Chicago
Now that's what I'm talking about. This is how you do a rivalry, people. North Side vs. South Side, Ozzie vs. Lou. Plenty of trash talk. Copious amounts of Ryan Dempster. Let's get it on! When Round 1 was over on Sunday the Cubs had done it; swept the White Sox in the Friendly Confines. Round 2 comi...

We Enjoyed Fenway Park Almost As Much As Brendan Ryan
We know that Bostonians take a lot of heat around these parts — or pretty much anywhere in the world of sport these days — and we suspect they can take it; multiple championships will serve as balm to just about any wound. (Other, than, you know, maybe a gunshot.) But we're gonna compliment them any...

Jennings Could Earn Some Euros
Brandon Jennings is arguably the best incoming freshman in college, that is, if he ever sets foot inside Arizona's Mckale Center. Young Money has told Andy Katz that he if things don't go his way, he's prepared to spend a year playing professionally in Europe before entering the NBA Draft....

Elijah Dukes Is A Bad Bad Man
The Rangers (née Senators) and the Nationals (like the Senators minus Frank Howard) took 14 innings to decide things before Elijah Dukes delivered with his second walk-off hit of the month. Back on June 5th Dukes finally crossed the Mendoza line with four hits, including a 10th inning game-winning h...

Curt Schilling Will (Most Likely) Pitch No More Forever
Is this the end for our bloody-hosed hero? With his announcement this morning that he will undergo season-ending shoulder surgery, Curt Schilling has most likely also announced his de facto retirement. He discclosed his plans on WEEI's Dennis and Callahan show, and the Boston Globe is confirming it:...

The Post In Which We Are Required To Examine David Beckham's Man-Parts
Only in San Francisco will you find a 100-foot poster of David Beckham in his underpants: A new, proud landmark here to rival the Golden Gate Bridge, the Transamerica Pyramid and Coit Tower. But unlike the latter two, which are clearly all natural, certain portions of Beckham's gigantic likeness ma...