ball Page 1728 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The West Coast Bias And The Drinking Wall
This is BALLS DEEP With Big Daddy Drew (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. You can email him here....
Man: The Edmonds Thing Is Really Happening
Augh ... man, the Cubs really did sign Jim Edmonds. Other than Pujols or Willie McGee signing with those guys, we can't imagine our brains hurting more than they do to see this. And we're sure Cubs fans don't feel any better about it. Proceed with extreme caution, Jim; Cards fans can no longer prot...
Forget Everything You Think You Know About Kyle Farnsworth
No word from The Dugout on this just yet, but it's only a matter of time. Yes, if you thought you knew Kyle Farnsworth — Grand Theft Farnsworth! — YOU HAVE NO IDEA....
Ken Griffey Jr. Is Quite The Rapscallion
It has been pleasant to watch Ken Griffey Jr., who played with such joy as a youth before becoming surly in his mid-career, rediscover the mirth, the smile, that made us all adore him. As his time has wound down, he has loosened up and enjoyed himself, tossing jockstraps to fans and, yesterday, fi...
Orioles Magic ... Uh, Catch It, Or Something
We're not sure anyone other than Kevin Millar is in on the joke here, but alas: Here's "Orioles Magic," the new/old/new theme song for the Baltimore Orioles, sung by the Baltimore Orioles, rocked out by the Baltimore Orioles....
Cubs Have Second-Best Record In Baseball! (Me No Like Bizarro World)
If it weren't for those insufferable Diamondbacks, who play in the NL West and therefore should only get to count every other win, the Chicago Cubs would be our new overlords. As it is the Northsiders have a 24-16 record after their 8-5 win over the Padres on Wednesday, one game worse than Arizona's...
Not Quite A Mark McGwire Sighting, But Close
It's been a while since we've seen Mark McGwire. Wait ... was that him at that Obama rally yesterday? OK, no, that wasn't him. But admit it: You wouldn't be surprised if he looked like this now....
Enough, Already, With The "Unwritten Rules" Of Baseball
Goose Gossage says you can't show joy when you do something positive. You can't bunt to end a no-hitter. If their guy throws even close to your guy, you have to throw closer to his guy. In the fourth inning, everyone has to do an Indonesian Dance Of Skulls before tapping his left ear twice. These "u...
The Briny Ballers Achieve A Left-Columner
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...
Baseball's Flourishing Again ... Let's Expand!
The notion of "contraction," back when Major League Baseball was going to eliminate the Expos, the Twins, both, neither, somebody, seems kind of quaint now. MLB is raking in cash, and pretty much every team at least has the ability to compete. The Marlins and the Rays are in first, the Yankees are ...
Bonds Perjury Charges Breed, Multiply, Threaten To Overrun Small Town
One reason that no team wants to take a chance on signing Barry Bonds: The perjury counts from his BALCO grand jury testimony seem to be splitting like amoebas. On Monday he had four counts of perjury, and on Tuesday it suddenly became 14. As any biology teacher will tell you, that's reproduction by...
Big Doings In The Land Of Sunshine And Sharks
Removing the Devil from their name proved to be a winning exorcism for the Tampa Bay Rays, who solved the unsolvable Mariano Rivera to ascend to first place in the AL East. Gabe Gross singled with no outs in the 11th to drive in the first run Rivera has allowed this season in a 2-1 victory over the...
Barry Bonds Hollas Bat
Since Roger Clemens has taken center stage as the poster doughboy for steroid use in baseball, Barry Bonds has quietly faded into the background. There will be an update on his perjury charges here, a question about why no MLB team is courting him there, but, for the most part, all of the shrieking...
People Not Quite Old Enough To Remember The Last Cubs' Title
Forgive us the doubling-up on Cubs stuff today, but we just can't help ourselves: A new story in — of course — AARP Magazine chronicles the plight of old people just trying to stay alive long enough to see a Cubs World Series win. (Via wrigleyville23.) Our suggestion is to look into cryogenics....
Of Mice And Men
You can imagine my pride when I discovered that my two local baseball teams, the Giants and Athletics, were found to be among the worst transgressors in a recent survey of health code violations at stadium concessions. As far as Oakland's McAfee Coliseum goes, all I have to hear are the terms "overh...
Goose Gossage Has Had Enough Of Your Tomfoolery
I guess we're somewhat removed from the era in which Rich "Goose" Gossage dominated baseball; well, when he dominated the final three innings of it, anyway. The closer really hadn't been perfected until Gossage came along, and the game hasn't been the same since. Although the Hall of Famer spent jus...
Jim Edmonds To The Cubs? Nooooooooooo!
Through it all, through all the hamboning and declining skills, we Cardinals fans have always loved Jim Edmonds. How do you not love a guy who has tattoos of both Darryl Kile and Josh Hancock? But man, if he signs with the Cubs, as has been heavily rumored, we might have a problem....
Ah, The Cultural Rewards Of Major League Baseball
The life of a Japanese player, when assimilated into a Major League Baseball clubhouse, can be difficult. You have to learn parts of other languages, deal with cultural differences you hadn't anticipated and, mostly, deal with the odd duck that is Jonathan Papelbon....
O.J. Mayo's Not The Sharpest Trojan In The Jar
This whole O.J. Mayo affair is probably not surprising to anybody who has a healthy does of skepticism about heavily recruited college basketball players' long-term goals and their abilities to make sound life decisions. As soon as Mayo signed onto USC, it was pretty clear that this kid decided Sout...