ball Page 1857 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Man Is Extremely, EXTREMELY Old
This bespeckled elderly gentleman is Silas Simmons, and he was recently discovered to be the oldest living Negro Leagues ballplayer. He is 110 ... wha? He's 110??!! And he's 111 next month? Jesus....
Tigers Burned Again
We generally don't condone vandalism, especially when it involves college students and fire. But you have to admit that these Auburn football fans, from last year's game between Auburn and Arkansas, were pretty much asking for it....
What Should We Do With Ann Arbor Again? And When Should We Do It?
Realize, kids, that it's entirely possible that we might have an Ohio State vs. Michigan, No. 1 vs. No. 2, battle on our hands this year. That might 40 percent of the Middle West spontaneously combust. We're very excited....
Our Teams: A Requiem In Three Acts
I. So now it can be written and known: The spinning, sprinting 12-yard sideaways rugby punts are not, in fact, a device that has come to revolutionize the sport of football. Sorry, Coach Zook. Our Illini very well might be the worst team in Division I-A, and we see no reason they wouldn't lose to Ne...
If Only He'd Have Gone Another Week!
This man's name is Fraser Babineaux, and for the last year, he has been known around these here Internets as "LSUOverUSC," a guy absolutely obsessed with proving LSU deserved the national title over USC in 2003. His site is a case study in how the Internet can drive one mad; it is so niche and so si...
New Looks For D-Backs, Reds
What to do if your team struggles late and is unable to sneak into the playoffs after a somewhat surprising season? Change your logo, of coruse....
The Closer: Tigers Welcome The 21st Century
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Taking Down The Field Goal Posts: You Know Where You Can Plant Your Flag
• Notre Dame 40, Michigan State 37. After the game, Michigan State tailback Javon Ringer said, "Give all the credit to Notre Dame. They stepped up when they had to." Well, that's one way to say it. Maybe Notre Dame stepped up, but they couldn't have done so if Michigan State hadn't laid down. Let's ...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 4
You know what an older gentleman, sensitive to the slow deterioration of his once-strong body, wants above all else? Wall-to-wall national coverage of his case of the shits. Thanks, ABC. - Tuffy Rhodes...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 3
• Does anyone else hear "Please like me! I fit in!" over and over again when Linda Cohn does football highlights? - Derek, Pittsburgh...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 2
The sideline reporter at the Georgia-CU game just said that Ugga, Georgia's mascot, is "built for pleasure, not speed". Yikes. - Hotwingz0...
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 1
• I just woke up to find that apparently last night I texted my ex-girlfriend in French... I don't speak French. You think thats a bad omen for the Vols? - Mikel, Lexington, KY...
That, Friends, Is A Lot Of Funk
In a world of uncertainty, the dancing fat man is a distinct pleasure worth cherishing. Do not underestimate the dancing fat Clemson fan: He's, in fact, quite nimble. You might think it cheap and/or easy, but we value the fundamental certainty of gyrating flab, and we think you probably should too....
Must Be Sittin' In The Front Row!
Earlier this week, we heard rumors of a fan and his girlfriend / wife / mistress / crossdresser, while in the top level of the mostly empty RFK Stadium, uh, enjoying themselves in a way that you can't exactly enjoy yourself in the crowded Yankee Stadium bleachers. We weren't going to run anything ab...
Once Again, Bobby Knight Helps Us Keep Things In Perspective
Among delighted viewers of Saturday's college football win by Oregon over Oklahoma was one Robert Montgomery Knight, and frankly we're surprised it took him this long to say something about it. In Jan. 2003, the host Sooners beat Knight's Texas Tech, 69-64 in overtime, after two clock controversies ...
"The Orioles Are Not An Asbestos Lawsuit!"
So the big Orioles protest went down yesterday, and, on the whole, the organizers — disappointingly, a radio station — have to be pleased with the coverage. "SportsCenter" had a short segment on the "Free The Birds" business, though The Washington Post is oddly muted in the paper this morning....
The Closer: Ortiz Wants That MVP Trophy, Dammit!
Notes from a day in baseball:...
"Shh ... Don't Tell Him ... Let's Just Watch Him Go"
This, friends, is UNLV coach Mike Sanford. Two weeks ago, his Rebels lost to Iowa State 16-10, on a close call late. UNLV's wide receiver was ruled out of bounds, and Iowa State left the field with the win....
Get Down To Camden To, Like, Protest And Stuff
Somewhere near Camden Yards, right now, there is a lonely protestor, looking for his or her fellow protestors, hoping he or she doesn't make a wrong turn. It is Baltimore, after all....