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And Now, Your Worst Spelling Bee Horror Stories
In case you missed it last night, the Scripps National Spelling Bee ended in spectacular fashion with 14-year-old Gokul Venkatachalam ensuring a tie with 13-year-old Vanya Shivashankar by throwing down “nunatak,” without asking for a definition. The boy had BALLS OF STEEL....

Deadcast: Are The FIFA Arrests Bullshit?
As you know by now, American officials conducted a huge sting operation two nights ago that culminated in the arrest of a shitload of FIFA officials, all of whom were tied to numerous instances of bribery and outright corruption. Now, I think it’s safe to say that we all despise FIFA, and nothing pl...

The Best <i>Entourage</i> Cast Outtakes From Their <i>GQ</i> Cover Story
Earlier this week, GQ posted a big profile I did of the Entourage cast for their upcoming movie. As always, there was plenty of juicy shit that couldn’t make its way into the final piece, like Jeremy Piven’s thoughts on In-N-Out Burger, which are very important for you to know about. You can read ma...

Deadcast: What Makes A Team A Fraud?
I’ve been enjoying these NBA playoffs quite a bit despite the fact that all the NERDY BASKETBLOG NERDS on the Deadspin staff have told me that every team involved in these games is a fucking fraud....

The World Is A Hurtful Goddamn Mess: A Message To The Class Of 2015
Oh, God. Grad season. THE WORST. Yes, it’s that time of year when colleges around the nation pay $50,000+ a pop for some celebrity or politician or (God help the children) author to come in and spray hot knowledge all over the senior class before the kids can finally stand in line for a diploma and ...

The Great Jameis Winston Whitewashing
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering egg whites, sex, cats that do dishes, and more....

What If Roger Goodell Were President?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering taco enemas, board games, wiping, and more....

April Fool’s Day, As Orchestrated By My 9-Year-Old
1. I wake up and walk downstairs....

Terrible Pizza Joint To Deny Gay Indiana Residents Terrible Pizza
You may have heard recently about Indiana's new "religious freedom" law that allows businesspeople to refuse service toward gay folks. Well, as reported by ABC57 news, the good people at Memories Pizza are taking full advantage of that new law, proudly declaring that gays are not encouraged to eat ...

Jameis Winston Fat?
Jameis Winston has always been a stout quarterback, inviting comparisons to Ben Roethlisberger not just for alleged behavioral resemblances, but for physical resemblances as well. As Michael David Smith has noted, there’s definitely some boobage going on. Is Winston fat? I’d say he’s righhhhhht on t...

Cutting Down Nets Is Stupid
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering Easter, third parties, saunas, pencils, and more....

HOLY SHIT THAT ONE GUY FROM ONE DIRECTION QUIT
Holy fuck! Holy Christ goddamn! That one guy from One Direction quit! The weed dealer looking one! That one that did that thing with the hair! YOU KNOW THE ONE. No, not Harry. You fucking asshole. The other one. THE HOT ONE. I know they're ALL hot ones, but Zach (Is that his name? Wait, h...

Adrian Peterson Is A Fucking Moron
You know, just once in this lifetime, I would like my favorite team to acquire a legendary skill position player who does NOT turn out to be a complete fucking shithead. The Vikings drafted Randy Moss, and I had to spend a decade justifying his existence to myself when he would sit down and make a ...

Deadcast: Peter King Talks To Roger Goodell, Accomplishes Nothing
So Peter King landed an interview with Roger Goodell (I know… I'm as shocked by his journalistic coup as you are) and the commissioner took the opportunity to spew out a bunch of boilerplate Roger Goodell nonsense: blanket declarations of self-assurance, private police forces, bullshit concussion st...

The USMNT Should Boycott The 2022 World Cup
Today FIFA announced that they are formally moving ahead with plans to host the 2022 World Cup in Qatar in November and December of that year, with the final being played a week before Christmas. As you may already know, Qatar's World Cup infrastructure is being built using Moses-era slavery practi...

Deadcast: The Hater’s Guide To The Field Of 68
The tournament is here! Obscure schools! Slow play! Poor shooting! Adorable upsets that are violently corrected in the boring later rounds! It's all here! I'm gonna head to the bar at 1 p.m., eyebang the barstools until a free one opens up, and then get TERRIBLE barstool ass sores over the cou...

What Happens When A 38-Year-Old Man Takes An AP History Test?
I never took an AP course in high school. I'm pretty sure it was because I never qualified for it (I went straight B-minuses throughout my high school career), but it was also because I went to school back when taking AP courses wasn't the dire necessity that it is for today's students. According ...