balls-deep Page 36 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What's The Age Cutoff For Wearing Your Hat Backwards?
Hey, are you in East Stroudsburg, Pa., tonight? Of course you are. FACT: Roughly 90 percent of Gawker Media readers live within a 0.2-mile radius of East Stroudsburg, Pa. Anyway, if you're around, I'm speaking to the youngs over at East Stroudsburg University tonight at 7:30. It's open to th...
And Now, Your Worst Halloween Costume Stories
We were living in Chicago when I was six, and I chose to be a ghost for Halloween. I made the costume myself, because cutting two holes in a sheet seems like an easy task. Of course, I had to cut a third eyehole, because my first two were off-alignment. I also failed to consider the fact that a...
In Defense Of The Selfie
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Jimbo Fisher Is A Whimpering Penis
Florida State is ranked second overall in the College Football Playoff committee's current rankings, which are determined by a complex mix of computer algorithms and schedule analysis and praying to a magic goldfish for spiritual guidance. And if you're like me, you're hoping that Florida State los...
Foods That Taste Good But Aren’t Shitty For You: A Matrix
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering voodoo, Papa John, handcuffing, and more....
Jerry Jones Is Fucking Crazy
It was only a matter of time before Jerry Jones fucked it all up. I covered the Cowboys for NBC's Dallas affiliate for a few years, and covering the Cowboys is an easy job because Jerry Jones never stops talking to the media, and is a completely fucking insane person. He is a man who abhors a vacu...
And Now, Your Most Horrifying Stories Of Being Caught Masturbating
I'm gonna tell the Price Is Right story now, because I don't think I've ever told it in full, so here goes (deep breath): I had just transferred to a new college, and my roommate was a year ahead of me. Football player. Perfectly nice dude. We weren't buddy buddies, but we managed to co-exist ami...
The Hater’s Guide To Your Local Halloween Store
Every year, when October rolls around, some enterprising fellow in my area rents out an abandoned Dollar Tree and turns it into a pop-up Halloween Megastore, resplendent with costumes and decorations and fitting rooms that almost certainly now house the Ebola virus. Almost everything in these sto...
Which NBA Coach Was Caught Masturbating In College?
Earlier this week, I solicited entries for our upcoming GREAT MOMENTS IN BEING CAUGHT JERKING OFF. And there were many fine submissions, but one anonymous reader sent in this blind item—totally unverified but amusing nonetheless—that deserves to stand on its own. Take it away, sir… ...
Yes, It’s OK To Hate Russell Wilson
Before we get to the Funbag, I think the time has come for a treasury of GREAT MOMENTS IN BEING CAUGHT MASTURBATING. So if you have a tale of getting apprehended with your pants down, send it my way. On to your letters…...
Great Moments In Barf History
I barfed last night. To be more precise, I barfed in five different locations. The first two were test barfs. I was at this Japanese barbecue joint with some friends—the kind of place where you can get skewers of meatballs and chicken parts grilled on a hibachi for two bucks each, and wash them a...
What It's Like To Be In The Doghouse
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
What If Tom Brady Gets Ebola?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering Ebola, Ebola, Ebola, and more....
Hey, Bill Simmons, Come Work For Us!
Bill Simmons’s three-week suspension from ESPN ends on Wednesday, and there is already a lot of conjecture about how the suspension has affected his relationship with higher-ups at ESPN, and if he will stay with the network when his contract is up next year. He could stay at ESPN. He could go to Ble...
The Worst Motivational Coaching Gimmicks In History
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
The Case Against Flushing At A Urinal
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering poop, sandwiches, rich people, Mitch, and more....
Does David Lynch Suck? A Pointless Discussion.
Showtime is bringing back Twin Peaks soon, much to the delight of your weird uncle and a lot of random folks on Twitter who think it's way cool that David Lynch does weather reports online. ...
The Mayor Of St. Louis Is A Complete Dipshit
It's October, which means it's time for St. Louis Cardinals fans like Will Leitch to go skipping out of the five-and-dime wearing their propeller beanies and poisoning America with their phony brand of trumped-up goody-goodyism....
The NFL Is Having Its Steroid Moment
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
