balls-deep Page 37 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Why Football Players Crave Contact
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Illustration by Sam Woolley....
The Problem With Peter King
Let’s begin with Peter King on Twitter last night. If you hate-follow poor Peter on Twitter, as I do, you know that his stream consists largely of mangled replies and random compliments to entire towns—Helluva main street you got there, Hanover, New Hampshire!—and last night was no different. The S...
What Should A Commissioner Be?
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Crustless Sandwiches Will Destroy America
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering mugs, Adrian Peterson, safety monsters, and more....
Why Do People Hit Their Kids?
There's an old episode of What's Happening!! where Roger fucks up, and his mom decides to beat his ass (this is actually the plot of every episode of What's Happening!!). So his mom asks Rerun for his belt, only Rerun is 300-plus pounds, so when he takes out his belt, it's like eight feet long. ...
Everything Is Public Relations Now
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Hey, Roger, Get The Fuck Out
So, this is all fairly simple now. Thanks to an AP report that contradicted every shitty, lawyered-up statement that he made on national TV this week, Roger Goodell is a proven liar. No one in the NFL saw the Ray Rice elevator tape? LIE. Couldn't legally obtain the tape? LIE. Didn't know what ...
Could You Date A 9/11 Truther?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering ghosts, Ray Rice, community message boards, and more....
Here's Why The NFL Is Full Of Shit
There was no reason not to look at the tape. That's really all you need to come to the conclusion that the NFL is completely full of shit when it comes to the entire Ray Rice affair. ...
Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Dallas Cowboys
Some people are fans of the Dallas Cowboys. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Dallas Cowboys. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. ...
What It’s Like To Be A Benchwarmer
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. ...
Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Philadelphia Eagles
Some people are fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Why Your Team Sucks 2014: New York Giants
Some people are fans of the New York Giants. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Giants. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Washington Redskins
Some people are fans of the Washington Redskins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Washington Redskins. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Don't Call Anyone On The Phone, Except For The Following Reasons
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering leaked nudes, urinals, asshole kids, and more....
Why Your Team Sucks 2014: New England Patriots
Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Buffalo Bills
Some people are fans of the Buffalo Bills. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Buffalo Bills. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Miami Dolphins
Some people are fans of the Miami Dolphins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Miami Dolphins. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Why Your Team Sucks 2014: New York Jets
Some people are fans of the New York Jets. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Jets. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Welcome To The Gradual Unfucking Of College Football
Every year, right around this time, I cobble together a Hater's Guide to the Top 25 teams in college football. And it contains pretty much everything you would expect in any boilerplate piece of college football trolling: Notre Dame is full of haughty dipshits; Alabama fans are crazy redneck muta...