balls-deep Page 53 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>Chuggington</i>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. GIF by Jim Cooke....
Should The NFL Draft Become An Auction Draft?
Before we get to the Funbag, one thing: my new book, Someone Could Get Hurt, is due out May 16. You can find links to pre-order it through my shitass homepage. It's all new Dadspin material. There's nothing republished from Deadspin, so you won't be spending your money on shit you've already read. T...
The Percy Harvin Trade Is Great News For Football And Horrible News For Me
Percy Harvin is headed to Seattle. Let's deal with this news, first with reason and then with angry, drunken homerism....
The Best (Or Maybe Worst) NBA Rule-Change Idea You'll Ever Hear
I was in New York on business last week (as much as what I do can be called "business" with a straight face) and I was working out of this office building downtown one morning when I had to go take a shit. So I grabbed my guest pass, beeped my way through a set of hallway doors (I always pretend I'm...
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <em>Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!</em>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Illustration by Jim Cooke. ...
What Is The Most Indispensable Cheese To Humankind?
Before we get to the Funbag, one quick announcement: There will probably not be a live Funbag on Thursday. But don't despair. You'll always have your raging alcoholism to help fill the void....
Your 100 Percent Bile-Filled Oscars Live Blog
It's finally here! Oscar Night! Speeches! Safe wardrobe choices! Four million references to "old Hollywood glamour"! Diet Pepsi commercials! Tap dance montages! THE WHOLE SHEBANG. I can't wait. I hope you've had as much Chardonnay as I've had, because I am feeling BITCHAY. ...
The 2013 Hater's Guide To The Oscars
Time to put on our bitchy pants and say shitty things about the Oscars and everyone nominated for the Oscars. Now, according to Entertainment Weekly, this year’s Oscars will be “song-and-dance heavy,” which is arguably the most terrifying thing I have ever read. The Grammys were two weeks ago. That ...
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <em>Max & Ruby</em>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Illustration by Jim Cooke. ...
Just How Many Women Are Naked On The Internet? A Back-Of-The-Envelope Calculation
Oh, hello! And welcome to the now-weekly LIVE edition of the Deadspin Funbag. We'll do this every Thursday right around 1 p.m. and go until 3pm. To submit a question to the live Funbag, you gotta post down in the bowels of the discussion section below. It is there, and only there, where your questio...
Washington Redskins "Proudly" Defend Their Name In The Dumbest Way Possible
Here in the 21st century, there is a growing sentiment that the Washington Redskins should finally adopt a less offensive team name. DC mayor Vincent Gray wants the name changed. Longtime DC newsman and real-life Sugar Bear Jim Vance wants the name changed. And Mike Florio wants RGIII to want the na...
Donut Flavors, Ranked
I don't think I'm alone in having a love-hate relationship with donuts. In a perfect world, I would be able to eat all the donuts I like. In this one, I have to wrestle with the fact that donuts are among the worst things I could ever ingest, somewhere between baby back ribs and C-4. A box of donuts...
For The Final Time, Gregg Easterbrook Is A Haughty Dipshit
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
Could Beyoncé Have Performed At Halftime With Diarrhea?
Before we get into this week's Funbag, a quick announcement: The last Jamboroo of the season posts on Thursday. So starting next week, there will be TWO Funbags a week. There will be the usual Tuesday Funbag. And then, every Thursday, there will be a LIVE Funbag. We'll do this all the way through to...
It Took A Blackout To Show You How Truly Useless NFL Broadcasters Are. Let's Blow Up The Studio.
I avoided the pregame shows yesterday. This isn't unusual. I never watch pregame shows for the same reason YOU never watch pregame shows. I showed up at my friend's house just as they were getting ready for Alicia Keys to spend eight minutes doing a national anthem/"Fallin'"/Jazz odyssey medley. And...
Confessions Of A Glory Boy
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....