balls-deep Page 54 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Hater's Guide To Ray Lewis
It’s not exactly daring to hate Ray Lewis. Facebook data show that most people are rooting for the 49ers to win the Super Bowl, and I’m sure “FUCK RAY LEWIS” has a lot to do with that. No one disputes that Lewis should be a Hall of Famer, and I guess we can all agree that he’s a good leader. He sure...
Household Chores: A Dadspin Ranking And Guide
Chores never end. That's why they're chores. You would think, after a long night scrubbing pots and pans until the skin begins to peel off your hands, that such an effort would absolve you from ever having to wash another dish again. YOU ARE WRONG. There will be more dishes to rinse or clean mere MI...
A Treasure Trove Of Animal Murder Stories For Your Super Bowl Off-Week
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
What Did Lou Holtz Text John Boehner After Obama's Inauguration?
Buried down at the bottom of this standard "Republicans in peril" MSNBC post (courtesy of reader @DSwedler) is a strange anecdote from House Speaker John Boehner about former Notre Dame coach and current ESPN in-house saliva factory Lou Holtz:...
Scarves Are Bullshit
It's cold outside today, unless you're one of those insufferable L.A. people who are like IT'S SUNNY AND 70 HERE IN DOUCHE HEAVEN, BABY! Anyway, I had to venture out into the WINDSWEPT MOONSCAPE today, and it was imperative to cover both my neck and the lower half of my face. This is the Scarf Zone,...
Your Manti Te'o Live Funbag
You have questions about Manti Te'o. I have questions about Manti Te'o. The FOOTBALL GODS have questions about Manti Te'o. It's a story that is hypnotically inexplicable—the kind of story that sprouts a zillion different theories as to potential motivations. So let's explore some of those, shall we?...
Lance Armstrong's Biggest Crime Was Being A Huge Asshole
By now, you know that Lance Armstrong will be giving a two-and-a-half-hour confession to Oprah Winfrey on Thursday and Friday nights (Two nights? Jesus Christ, Shogun wasn't that long). No one who watches this thing will be there to hear Armstrong admit to doping. We all knew that ages ago. The reas...
Save The Black Quarterback
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
Baseball Writers Would Like You To Know That Filling Out A Hall Of Fame Ballot Is Super Hard
The Baseball Hall of Fame vote is released at 2 p.m. today, but why wait that long to treat yourself to the collective moral grandstanding of the world's baseball writers? We've already got their "I filled out my ballot like this, because I must do what is right" columns—each very special one a remi...
Nick Saban Is The Ultimate Freakshow
Nick Saban won his third BCS title in four years last night, and given the likelihood that he'll reject the idea of sucking in the NFL one more time, he's probably going to win a lot more. He gets the best players and he trains those players better than any other coach possibly could. By the time h...
Stripper Boyfriends Are The Worst Boyfriends
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Your Coach Sucks At Managing The Clock. Does It Really Matter?
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
My Afternoon With Snoop Lion, President Of Weed
I went to LA this fall to profile Snoop Lion (formerly Snoop Dogg, formerly Snoop Doggy Dogg) for GQ. You can read the whole story right here. Suffice it to say, it's extremely weed-heavy. In fact, I dare say that Snoop deserves the honorific "President of Weed." I don't know who else could challeng...
What Is The Best Fruit For Committing Murder?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering sex tapes, traffic lights, bats and more. ...
The Public Humiliation Diet: A How-To
Originally published May 24, 2010....
When The Game Became <em>The</em> Game: An Afternoon With A Deranged, Piss-Smelling Vikings Fan (Me)
I was giving my eight-month-old baby a bath on Saturday night when I started to space out. In my head, I was giving Vikings QB Christian Ponder an imaginary pep talk. I was Leslie Frazier, only I was Leslie Frazier if Leslie Frazier were a goofy-looking white man. And I was in the film room with Pon...