balls-deep Page 58 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Five Most Racist Cities In America!
Last night I had an intense dream that was broken up when I had to get up and take a leak at 6 a.m. But the dream was so fascinating that when I got back into bed, I tried desperately to pick up where I left off, as if I were unpausing a movie. I was walking down the road and carrying two suitcases....

Cockblocked by Hot Wings!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

The Why Your Team Sucks Butthurt Awards
“Butthurt” is an awful word. Its origins are almost certainly tied to the “Bros icing bros” movement of aught-ten, as in, “Aw bro! You’re just BUTTHURT because I iced you while Tina was givin’ you a Jeff Smoker, bro!” We at Deadspin generally go out of our way to avoid using it, because it’s a short...

Why Grown Men Walk Around Wearing Football Jerseys
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season, except when the NFL decides to open the season on a Wednesday....

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: New York Giants
Some people are fans of the New York Giants. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Giants. This final 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Dallas Cowboys
Some people are fans of the Dallas Cowboys. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Dallas Cowboys. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Cockblocked By Anti-Semitism!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Washington Redskins
Some people are fans of the Washington Redskins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Washington Redskins. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here...

The 2012 Hater's Lover's Guide To The Top 25
Every year, we preview the upcoming college football season with a Hater’s Guide to the Top 25, and every year I make the same jokes about Ohio State fans being dumb and Alabama fans being racist (it’s true!), and it’s always a great deal of fun. But this year, between the Hater’s Guides and the Why...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Philadelphia Eagles
Some people are fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: New England Patriots
Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: New York Jets
Some people are fans of the New York Jets. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Jets. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Buffalo Bills
Some people are fans of the Buffalo Bills. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Buffalo Bills. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Screengrab from the movie Buffalo '66. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

FUCK YEAH! IT'S THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!
Holy shit! It's here! It's finally here! The first day of school! SOMEONE PINCH ME ON THE ASS SO I KNOW IT'S REAL!...

Summer Camp Blowjob Follies!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Miami Dolphins
Some people are fans of the Miami Dolphins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Miami Dolphins. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Chris Johnson Owes You Money: The Deadspin 2012 AFC Fantasy Football Preview
If you missed our NFC fantasy preview, you can find it right here. And now, it's time for the AFC portion of our annual Deadspin fantasy guide ... FLESH FOR FANTASYYYYYYYYY!!!...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Minnesota Vikings
Some people are fans of the Minnesota Vikings. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Minnesota Vikings. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here. For a rebuttal, see Vikings punter Chris Kluwe's "Why Your Web...