balls Page 102 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
“Help! I Keep Dreaming About Banging My Mom!”
Hey, before we get to the letters, BRAD CHILDRESS WAS FIRED YESTERDAY! WOOHOO FUCK YEAH! SO LONG, CUNTGROPER! We're finally rid of you, YOU BALD ASSHOLE! Now my beloved Vikings can finally get around to drafting the wrong quarterback, losing key free agents, becoming as tightfisted as the Bills, and...
“My Pussy Is Like Steel!” And Other Things You Hear During Sex
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Why The Fuck Are Your Stadium Lights On?
Reader Brian Mendonca sent us this photo of AT&T Park in San Francisco last night. "AT&T Park lit up like a Christmas tree. No sign of any events going on..."...
Michael Vick Will Bring Out The Smug Asshole In America
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
When Is An 80-Point Fantasy Football Lead Unsafe? When Your Opponent Has Michael Vick
Reading other people's Fantasy Football stories are usually boring, but poor reader Scott S's running diary of his nut-punching loss thanks to last night's touchdown parade by The Best Football Player In The Universe Ever is quite enjoyable. Enjoy the misery....
The Poop Mugshot Will Make You Happy
Nice to be back. Your letters:...
Here's Video Of "Possibly The Best Defender In The NFL" Taking a Ball To The Face
As of this dispatch, the Jets are down 20-10 to the mighty Detroit Lions. Was this foretold in pregame warmups?...
Hulk Hogan: I Didn't Show My Genitals To My Daughter
In a 12-second video provided to "best friend" Bubba The Love Sponge, former professional wrestler Hulk Hogan tries to make the case that he didn't flash his junk seconds after his daughter Brooke was bump-grindin' in a hotel room....
Chinese Football Coach Studies Genitals In Order To Find The Next Messi
We've checked our calendar and apparently it's not April 1st for a while yet. Still, that hasn't stopped Chinese newspaper Yangtze Evening Post running a story on a new scouting method for young Chinese football stars — genital assessment....
Cockblocked By A Salad-Tossing Cow!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
The 10 Worst Long-Tenured Head Coaches Of The Past 20 Years
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
My Girlfriend Became A Pro Cheerleader And Dumped Me In Wartime For The Team Mascot
I watched the The Walking Dead premiere yesterday (it was unreal) and then spent the rest of the night wondering if I had it in me to shoot friends or family members if they turned zombie on me. Like if AJ turned zombie, I could totally shoot him in the face and not hesitate. That wouldn't be a prob...
"Then I Felt My Testicles Switch Places": One Man's Twisted Story About His Balls
One day, seemingly out of nowhere, something terrible happened to Evan Jacobs's testicles: They rotated. Then came the pain, the marijuana, the doctor's finger, the testicle display, and the compression shorts....
If You’re Not Rich In America, You Are Fucked
There's an election coming up tomorrow, and I haven't paid any attention to it because, at this point, whatever asshole they stick in office will be no different from the asshole they stuck in there before....
Cockblocked by Mario Manningham! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
The Killer Squirrel Epidemic Could Spell America’s Doom
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
How Much Would It Take For You To Be A Cannibal?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Today, we're covering hotel dining cart theft, train tracks, squirrel fighting, and more....
I Shaved My Balls For These Hockey Seats
Here's a great little photo ESPN ran with its Saturday post-game hockey coverage. Wonderful wardrobe choice by this fan, whose exasperated expression really adds to him being annoyed at making the extra effort to groom his scrotal region for an NHL game....
Brett Favre Is A Bitch
I'm a Vikings fan, so I apologize in advance for any and all homerism contained within this rant. But my team lost last night because our QB is a fucking bitch....
Cockblocked by Imagined Transgenderism! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....