balls Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Please, I Ask You All, Murder Me With Butter
Just in time for July 4th, Michelin-starred chef and angry British person Gordon Ramsay made the below YouTube video to show you how to grill a hamburger. Why you would trust this man to make you a proper burger over Ron Swanson, I do not know. Why Ramsay needs a full 10 minutes to show you how he d...
What's The Best Time To Wake Up?
Today, we’re talking about pizza, garbage, morning radio, college email addresses, and more....
God Man, Fuck You Bret Stephens
In case you were busy actually enjoying your weekend, Jordan Peterson celebrity cruise attendant Bret Stephens went ahead and ruined everyone else’s by scribbling out a bunch of racist bumper sticker slogans in the New York Times. And this time, ol’ Bret did so without the veneer of preciousness tha...
What A Foul Ball Can Do
Laura Cusick and her husband Richard loved baseball. They loved it so much for so long that it became a part of their marriage. When they had kids, they taught them to love the game, too: to root for the home team (the Braves), and learn the players names, and to stretch in the seventh inning. They ...
The 2-Year-Old Who Was Hit By A Foul Ball At An Astros Game Suffered A Skull Fracture
On May 29, a two-year-old girl was struck by a foul ball during a game between the Cubs and Astros in Houston. In the first update about the child’s condition since then, an attorney representing her family revealed today that she suffered a fractured skull when she was struck by the ball....
Spring Football Will Never Work And Charlie Ebersol Sure As Hell Wasn't The Man To Do It
Last week, Seth Wickersham of ESPN published a thorough and damning tick-tock of the conception and near-instant immolation of the Alliance of American Football, a spring football league founded by Charlie Ebersol. If Ebersol’s last name rings a bell, it’s with good reason. He’s the son of former NB...
Expanded Protective Netting Is Coming To Major League Baseball, One Stadium At A Time
The Chicago White Sox announced Tuesday that they will extend protective netting at their stadium all the way to the foul poles this summer. They will be the first of 30 MLB teams to make the move all the way to the outfield wall, but certainly not the last....
I Can’t Tell Who The Fuck Is Joking Anymore
Today, we’re talking about airport eating, shower clogs, germophobes, and more....
FOX U.S. Open Coverage Takes Time Out To Glorify How Fucked Up Carmel Is
Yesterday Gary Woodland and his MAGA-friendly spikes held off golfing Terminator Brooks Koepka and won the U.S. Open. It was a classic example of a formerly unknown player revealing himself as a bloodless, stress-proof killer over the course and spending four days fending off all comers for a first ...
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>The Garfield Show</i>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Image by Jim Cooke....
Fuck Your Asterisk
I heard someone on sports talk radio the other day say that if the Raptors pulled out a win in these NBA Finals, fans would forget about what exactly happened to Golden State during the series—he made this supposition after Kevin Durant’s calf rolled up but before Klay Thompson’s knee buckled like a...
Google's Smart Compose Is Shitty And Definitely Evil
Not satisfied with foisting predictive text and Smart Replies upon an unsuspecting public, Google rolled out a new Smart Compose feature for mobile Gmail two months ago that, like your significant other interrupting you, storms right ahead and puts words in your mouth. Like so:...
Small-Town America Features, Ranked
Today, we’re talking about Steve Kerr, pillow talk, neglected foodstuffs, and more....
Which Ear Is Your Phone Ear?
I recently became deaf in my right ear thanks to a sudden brain hemorrhage, which is a freakish life-threatening injury that I highly recommend avoiding. The good news out of this, apart from me not being dead, is that it turns out my surviving left ear is my phone ear. I didn’t even realize it was ...
This Hail Mary Replay Tweak Will Go Over Like A Hard Fart
I wish they had thrown that flag in the NFC title game. I wish this because the Rams’ Nickell Robey-Coleman committed obvious pass interference. But I also wish it because flagging the Rams on that play would have allowed Saints coach Sean Payton to blow the game on his own merits—something he was a...
Let’s Do It. Let’s All Eat Salad With A Fuckin’ Spoon
Today, we’re talking about parsing online reviews, new candy bars, battered fries, oddly named Pennsylvania burgs, and more....
James Holzhauer Was The <i>Jeopardy!</i> GOAT
You can tell that Jeopardy! is a perfectly devised game format when even James Holzhauer can lose at it. Holzhauer’s streak of 32 consecutive victories on the show came to an end on Monday, when he nailed the Final Jeopardy answer (Who is Christopher Marlowe, whom Holzhauer referred to by the nickna...
Hear Me Out: Infinite-Field Baseball Games
A few weeks ago, I was reading this interview with architectural critic Paul Goldberger about baseball stadiums in America when I stumbled upon a reminder from Goldberger that doubles as a breathtaking conversation piece for stoners all across the land:...
![Foul Ball Appears To Injure Young Child At Cubs-Astros Game [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/gr3zks0quc0fkbpdes6q.png)
Foul Ball Appears To Injure Young Child At Cubs-Astros Game [Update]
During the fourth inning of tonight’s Cubs-Astros game, Chicago outfielder Albert Almora Jr. hit a foul ball into the seats on the third base side of the Houston ballpark. According to those present at the game, that ball hit a small child, who was quickly brought up the stairs by an adult....