balls Page 119 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Weekend Throwgasm Breakdown: Ice Cream Cone Physics, Rain Delays, And Stinky Dongs
The week's ending. You need shit to do. Well, fear not. For I have compiled a list of worthy activities, media and/or ingestible chemicals to help you entertain yourself....

Cultural Oddsmaker: What’s The Next Great Sports Media Scandal?!
Usually, mid-to-late July is the absolute worst time to be a sports fan, unless you're some baseball-loving choirboy like Leitch....

GET HAMMERED! Tad Kubler Of The Hold Steady On The Deadcast
This week's Deadcast guest is Hold Steady guitarist Tad Kubler (Listen here, iTunes here.) DOUBLE WHISKY COKE NO ICE....

The Agony Of Upkeep
There are many shitty things about growing old. But here's one of the shittiest: paying lots of money simply to maintain the shit you already have....

Okay, Perhaps Kellen Winslow Is A Soldier
We've all mocked Kellen Winslow in the past for grossly overestimating his own bravery. But perhaps it's time to reconsider, given that last year, he had his testicles sliced open....

The One Good Thing About Tom Watson Losing The British Open
If there's one silver lining to Tom Watson's agonizing 2nd place finish at the British Open yesterday, it's that we are now spared from old people suddenly thinking they are somehow useful again....

And Now… Stars Who Could Have Used Helmets As Babies
If you're a parent, you know about the phenomenon known as Flat Head Syndrome, where a baby's head gets too flat in the back and they need to wear a helmet to correct it....

Matt Bush Teaches Us A Valuable Lesson About When Not To Cry
By now, you've likely seen the above video of former Padres #1 overall pick Matt Bush being arrested and crying like a fat kid who can't open a peanut jar....

Jeff Garlin: “This Is The Longest Rape Has Ever Been A Topic For Anything I’ve Ever Discussed”
This week's Deadcast guest is "Curb Your Enthusiasm" co-star and producer Jeff Garlin (Listen here, iTunes here, buy Jeff's standup DVD here). We talk rape! Far more than Jeff prefers!...

The All-Star Game, Through The Eyes Of A Great Photographer
For the second consecutive year, I attended the Baseball All-Star parade. (Sorry: "Red Carpet Day.") This year, I even stuck around for the game. Witness my sad attempt at photography as we do an old school Road Trip....

Jason Whitlock Vs. Marty B In Racial Flame War ‘09: WHO YA GOT? (UPDATED)
Our favorite oozing pumpkin Jason Whitlock is forging an Enemies List not seen since the last days of Richard Nixon: Selena Roberts, Serena Williams, Hamstring Stretches, etc....

Yes, This Creepy Person Was a Marketing Ploy By Fox
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

SI Writer On Pujols: You Failed At Everything This All-Star Game
Pujols crapped out at the derby, didn't win a kid a flat-screen TV, didn't win MVP in the All-Star game, didn't help Obama throw a perfect strike and didn't save the world. His legacy is tarnished. [SI]...

How Does One Get An Infected Finger?
That's what happened to Evan Longoria. So All-Star game: Longoria out, Figgins in. Not a euphemism. [ESPN]...

The Home Run Derby Will Rot Your Will To Live
As it turns out, Chris Berman might be the only person pitched at the right frequency for the Home Run Derby. After three hours of that — three hours! — I was almost afraid I didn't like baseball anymore....

The Bizarre World Of Children’s YouTube Videos
Ever stumble on some random YouTube video and wonder to yourself, "How did this piece of shit get 200,000 views?" Well, I have the answer....

Creativity In Full Bloom On The Kentucky Minor League Circuit
The Lexington Legends have a passionate hometown fan base that loves to let opposing players know they're appreciated for all their hard work and effort. Especially on dollar beer night. [Horace Grant Halftime Report/Intentional Foul]...

Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Bitch
I took my three-year-old to see Up the other day. We left after an hour because she didn't want to stick around (Thanks for burning my money, kid). But that hardly mattered....

All-Star Party At Old Man Leyland's Cancelled
Jim Leyland's wife was going to host an All-Star Game party, but he requested a nice, peaceful night at home. (Translation: he wants to do it.) [MLive]...

This Week In Terrible Music: The Cowboys’ Nu Metal Band, Plus Chickenfoot
You may have heard that Cowboys' o-lineman Marc Colombo, Leonard Davis, and Cory Procter started their own metal band called Free Reign. Is their music as awful as you think it is? SURE IS!...